Moody Lenalee
by xxDarkSeceretxx
Summary: Lenalee is having a bad day. But what happens when she snaps? The trio are in for a surprise when they have Komui on their tail, and end up getting locked up in a room with... M for swearing, sexual suggestiveness. YULLEN! and LUCKY!:D No like, no read.
1. Chapter 1

It was five o'clock in the morning at the Order, Lenalee had been unable to sleep at all. Tossing and turning, changing positions, kicking the bed sheets off. "This is just great", she sighed in an exasperated tone. Creasing her eyes shut, she rubbed them with her soft hands and sluggishly opened them to reveal her beautiful magenta eyes. _Honestly! with the covers on, it's like an oven, and without them, It's like my room's a damn freezer!_, she thought, obviously irritated.

She sat up and began rubbing her temples in a circular motion as an attempt to relax herself, but it just wasn't working. And as if things couldn't get any worse, she began with a booming headache.

Reaching out of bed slowly, she crept toward the bathroom. _Wow, my stomach feels like it's going to implode, Ugh! I need a glass of water. _

It was now nine o'clock and the halls of the order were filled with people. Lavi was running down the corridors toward the Science department with a bright smile on his face. _Hmm, I wander what Komui wants? _he wriggled his eyebrows as he pondered.

Komui sat in his chair, legs crossed on top of his desk. He heard a fast knock on the door. "come in!"

Lavi entered and paced towards his desk, "so what do ya want me for?"

"Ah yes, can you give this to Allen please. It's an new assignment" he stretched out as he handed an envelope to Lavi, not taking his eyes off his coffee for a single moment.

"Yeah, sure thing, if I can find him"

There was a pause. Lavi looked at Komui in confusion as the man began sniffing the coffee, upholding a suspicious glare. He took another sip and began analysing the contents of the coffee, swishing the contents with his mouth.

Lavi just stared at him with a perplexed, now very confused expression. "Hey, Komui, w-what the hell are you doing?"

"Something's missing, what could it be? Too little sugar? No, too little milk? No." He sat there talking to himself for a while.

"Somethin' wrong with your coffee? I thought Lenalee made it great every time?" He crossed his arms waiting for Komui to explain himself.

"LENALEE!HOLY OCTOPI That's it!, it doesn't taste like hers! She's what's missing!" He screamed whilst shaking Lavi back and forth violently with panic. "Reever trying to trick me!"

_That's odd, Lenalee is never late and she always makes tea or coffee for her brother._

"Um yeah, I think I ought' a be going now" Lavi laughed nervously, with that he hopped quickly out of the room.

"Now onward to find Allen!" A large grin appeared on his face, "he wouldn't mind if I take a peek" and with that, he slowly opened the envelope and began reading the contents on the page.

"Ha ha! Komui you genius, you've pared up Moyashi with Yu-chan! No wonder he want's me to give this to Allen, Kanda would flip his shit! well, they need a lot more bonding time."

After searching for hours, Lavi still couldn't find them. He turned and got to a long corridor only to stop when he noticed a door was half open. _Wait a minute, that's Lenalee's room, I'll check to see if she's alright._

Hesitantly he knocked on the door. No reply. He knocked again, harder. Still no reply. "Hey, Lenalee, can I come in?"

Nothing.

Lavi became concerned. But before he could step inside he jumped at hearing Allen's voice. "Lavi, what are you doing standing outside Lenalee's room?" he stared at him wide eyed.

"A-allen um, I was, well you see, I haven't seen her this morning! and!"- he was cut off.

"Come on Lavi I know you have a thing for her but really? Standing outside her door is just downright creepy and rude."

"I'm not some kind of pervert!"

Allen shot him a very unconvinced glare.

"Well not entirely, I can't help it sometimes, and I really am telling the truth!"

"Well, now that you mention it, he paused. I haven't seen her either?" he scratched his head.

"Oh yeah, I nearly forgot, this is for you" he handed over the brown paper envelope. "It's a new assignment, "your with YU-CHAN!" wriggling his eyebrows suggestively at the thought.

The floor began to rumble and Lavi grew pale.

"BAKA USAGI! Do not call me by my first name! You cocksuckingpervertedshittymotherfuckingasswipingas dfghjkl!"

Allen just sighed, "How the hell did he hear that from the cafeteria?"

"Beats me, got to go Al, I'm pretty sure I want to ya now LIVE!?"

But before he could leave, the end of the corridor was occupied by the fuming samurai seething with an angered glare that could kill a kitten.

"Allen SAVE MEH-HH!" he screamed whilst jumping and accidentally groping Allen's tight ass.

Allen yelped at the contact.

This only made Kanda more angry_, No piece of shit touches my Moyashi's plump ass, OH. HELL. NO._

Unsheathing Mugen, he raced towards Lavi at full force.

Allen finally stepped in the way, withstanding the slash of Kanda's sword at high speed. "Bakanda!"

"Get out of the way idiot Beansprout!"

"My name is ALLEN, A-L-L-E-N, YOU GOT THAT?. Well I guess not."

"You are whatever I call you, now you got _THAT?"_

"Your such a bloody Prick you dumbass!"

"What did you say? You have some fucking nerve!"

"Your such a bloody jerk"

"Spare me the lecture dip shit"

"The only thing I'm sparing you is the chance to kill Lavi asshole!"

"WILL EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Everyone turned in unison toward the door, Lenalee stood there in her white nightdress and her Dark Boots, dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep and a pissed off aura that made the other three uncomfortable.

"Hey Lenalee! Why didn't you answer me before?" Lavi bounced

"I was in the damn bathroom, I'm not exactly feeling well, if I didn't answer the door, you should have left. I am not in the mood for any of your banter. And what do I find, you three in front of my door acting like idiots, driving me insane! Also, the fact that I have a flu at the same time as my monthly is highly depressing!"

"u-uh, Lenalee?!" This was completely out of character and has never happened before. _Don't want to be the wrong side of her today! _"I know how you feel! I'm sure you'll be better-" he was cut off.

"You do not understand at all. You have no uterus. You have no say. You do _not_ understand."

"Well, what can I say to that one?" Lavi just gaped.

Allen couldn't help but giggle to Lenalee's sudden mood swing, only to be caught in the action and quickly turned his head to hide the smirk.

"Oh?, you find this somewhat _amusing_ do you Allen?" she hissed.

"N-no Lenalee, um, well I err, em" he panicked for not knowing what to say. "It's unusual, your more um, how should I put this?, um your being a, um…"

"He's trying to say that your being more of a bitch than usual" Kanda intervened. "Baka!" Allen swatting him over the head. "Bakanda! That's not what I meant!"

"Don't worry about it Allen, I just don't feel myself today, someone must of put something in my tea as I was fine yesterday, like my emotions and everything else have been amplified."

"It's ok Lenalee, it's not like it's your fault, but will you excuse me while I kick _this _bitch's ass." Allen turned to kanda, both of them in a somewhat staring competition.

_Now what do I need to do in order for them to leave me in peace and quiet? _A mischievous grin spread wide across her perked lips as the thought came to her loud and clear. _Perfect._

The three stopped dead in there tracks. Kanda gripping Allen's shirt, both in a muddled mess on the floor and Allen's fist clenching Lavi's hair. All stopping their actions. All blood draining from their faces which were in absolute horror.

"NII-CHAN! Allen grabbed and squeezed my boobs! Lavi has forcefully impregnated me! And Kanda has molested my virgin ears and ass!" she screamed.

They all froze, even Kanda looked terrified. Lenalee looked fully satisfied, still smirking, _well that took care of that_.

"Sweet, I guess I'll leave you to it." With that she went back inside her room and closed the door. All of them gaped at the now closed door.

"Shit, we're fucked" they all said in unison.

The corridors began to rumble like hell was on earth, the roar of fury echoed through the halls. The trio sat there tensed awaiting their early death. Allen's eyes shot wide open, Kanda's eyebrow twitched and Lavi's stomach churned as they heard the loud thunder of a power drill.

Still in the same positions as they were in before, they turned their heads slowly only to see thick smoke surrounding the end of the corridor. Lavi gulped.

Footsteps could be heard approaching toward them. It was Komui. He appeared through the smoke holding the raging power drill. A fiery aura surrounded him creating a demonic presence on the man. Fire in his eyes. "I AM HERE DARLING LENALEE,

YOUR BROTHER SHALL HANDLE THIS! I SHALL AVENGE YOUR VIRGINITY!"

He glared at the petrified trio on the ground, before pushing up his glasses.

"NO ONE lays their hands on my precious darling Lenalee. Perverts, prepare to be eliminated."

"komurin the 4th ATTACK!" Crashing through a nearby wall, the destructive robot came charging at full speed towards them. "I'm outta' here!" with that Lavi sprinted down the corridor and left the two for dead.

"I don't know about you Kanda! but I also want to live!" and with that he sprinted like lightning after Lavi.

Kanda turned watching Allen turn the corner and vanish. "Oi, Moyashi, you little shit!" and got up to follow their example, he didn't want to be in the hands of the creepy mad man, he shuddered at the thought.

Kanda reached the end of the long corridor and turned left. "Now where the fuck did they go?!"

It wasn't long before he caught up with Allen.

"Hey Moyashi, out of breath already?" he said mockingly bearing a grin. _Damn, he looks damn cute and sexy with his face flushed like that...wait, why am I thinking this now?!_

"Bak-*gasp*an*gasp*da! I haven't had lunch yet! out. of. energy*gasp* what do you think he'll do to us?

"Shit knows, he's a fucking creep" he said coldly with a face that showed some form of... fear?. "I swear he'll be the death of me."

Allen lifted his head and smirked. "Well, finally we have something we both agree on"

"Tch..."

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Komui's mechanical laughter echoed through the order, making the two freeze in silence.

"Jajajajaja little Allen-Kun3, oh where, oh where are you? you can't hide forever~"

Kanda and Allen both stared at each other. "Where can we hide?" Allen whispered.

"Where did Usagi go?" he whispered back while bending close down to Allen's height to avoid being heard.

Allen noticed how close Kanda was, he loved the teen but had never confessed to him, it had been on his chest for years now. Yes he promised himself he'd tell him soon, it was driving him crazy. _Oh Jesus, he's coming closer, deep breaths Allen, deep breaths, he's so close to my face! Keep cool Allen, Keep cool!_

Kanda was practically breathing hot air onto Allen's ear "Moyashi?"

"U-uh what?"

"Your blushing."

"W-what, no I'm not! Bakanda!" turning his face embarrassed. "It's just a little hot in here, that's all"

"I think it's nothing to do with temperature" kanda whispered suggestively.

Allen shuddered under sexy Kanda's voice sounded. But something broke their moment.

"Allen, Kanda!" Both turned. "Follow me!" Lavi's head stuck out the side of a small door, "hurry up and follow me!." They quickly snapped out of their daze and quickly scampered after Lavi.

It was a secret room, only Bookman and Lavi knew about it.

It was the place they kept all of their records and files. There was food there and a lounging area, enough to keep them going until Komui chilled his beans.

Now that the two had entered, Lavi hopped over to the door and locked it using a small golden key. But of course, bad luck struck.

Once locking the door, he accidentally dropped the key, making it slide under the door. He looked at the ground. _well fuck that's a bummer, _then turned his head very slowly toward the other two. "Hey, um how do you feel about being, um locked in?" he scratched his head nervously.

"What the fuck are you talking about Usagi?! Kanda spat dangerously.

"Well, I um, uh, kind of dropped the key, and it kind of ha-ha, went under the door."

"Ha-ha, your kidding right? RIGHT?!" Allen panicked.

"Ha-ha, well um, no."

"We'll just use our innocence to break it down!" Allen thought.

"Lol, it's um innocence proof." The two just glared down on him. But before Lavi could mentally prepare himself to die at the hand of one very pissed Samurai and one very angered Beansprout. They all paused to hear a CLUNCK.

Shuffling was heard in the kitchen, someone was rummaging through the fridge.

"We're not alone" Kanda whispered while unsheathing Mugen. Allen activated Crown Clown and Lavi had his hammer at hand.

The three shuffled toward the kitchen door. They all looked at each other, signalling Allen to open the door. Allen cautiously brought his hand to turn the knob slowly. They readied themselves, as Allen swung open the door. Allen's eyes widened completely. "Shishou?!"


	2. Chapter 2 Juicy secrets

**Hi hi! Here's the second Chappy! hope you like it:3 please tell me what you think,**

**~o3o~ enjoy!**

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There he was, that familiar red vibrant hair that caressed that muscular frame, those piercing eyes that stared right through one's very soul, the smirk that strikes fear into the enemy and a lustful frenzy to the hearts of women. Yes, this was unmistakably Cross Marian.

"Master?, what are you doing here?" Allen questioned standing next to the ajar kitchen door, looking more than pissed.

Cross scanned the contents of the fridge in front of him, totally ignoring the question "You've got to be shitting me, NO ALCOHOL?!" he roared. "Fucking hell, I need to take care of this shit A.S.A.P"

Allen frowned. "Shishou! stop ignoring me!"

"Shut up brat!, we're in the middle of a crisis! the order has ran out of alcohol, I've forgotten where I placed my other stash of wine and my secret bottle of Jack Daniels HAS. GONE."

Lavi sweat dropped. "So that's what it was? Oh, heh my bad" he scratched his head.

They all turned to face Lavi. "What the fuck are you talking about Usagi?" Kanda spat.

"Well the old panda told me to get him a drink from the fridge, so I err, took a small clear bottle out and gave it to him. Everything was fine so I left him... only to come back an hour later to see him, well uh, kind of um... pole dancing on my hammer wearing nothing but briefs." he cringed at the thought.

"Oh...Oh my god...Oh, that's just ew, and you still touch that hammer?!" Allen stuttered mortified.

"Well fuck..." Kanda cursing at the vivid image in his head.

"Jesus...That's a fucking sight, the image is ruining my mental health, and the shit cunt drank my motherfucking power juice, that old bitch is gonna pay." Cross lit a cigar and put it to the corner of his mouth, letting it hang loosely on his lip before speaking to Allen.

"Oi brat, where the fuck is my wine stash?"

"What are you talking about? how the hell should I know, considering your the only one who drinks it I have no idea"

"Your suppose to keep track of that shit, now go fetch me some"

"Excuse me? don't order me around like that!"

"I'll order you around however the fuck I want." With that, he strode past the trio at the kitchen door, earning glares from both Allen and Kanda.

"Talk about harsh" Lavi intervened looking at them wide-eyed. "Ne Allen, hey Allen" Lavi poked Allen's back to get his attention.

"He-he"

"Eh?" What's so funny Allen?" Lavi blinked twice.

"ha-hah-ahahahaha" Allen began to laugh evilly.

"A-allen, w-what is it?" Lavi asked completely freaked out.

"Someone must really fucking hate me up there, we're locked in a room with Cross for god knows how long. I swear to god I'm going to gut you later Lavi."

Kanda smirked at the idea.

Lavi gulped and kept his distance from dark Allen.

Realisation hit Lavi and Kanda, yes, they had nearly forgotten than all four of them were now locked in the small room. The three turned towards Cross who was walking toward the door, they began watching him carefully, awaiting his reaction.

Cross approached the door, and reached out for the handle and turned the knob. The door didn't budge. He stared at the handle and paused before doing it again, this time he shook harder. There was a long pause before he spoke...

"The Fucker who locked this door is a fucking dead man, the joke ends here."

The three looked at each other.

"Well, you see em, the key kind of slid under the door, so it's, well, no joke and kind of why we're still here, we just have to wait till someone comes." Lavi admitted.

"Fuck, I've had enough of this shit, I'm not staying here with these fucking assholes and that bitch of a drunken Bastard?!" Kanda hissed gritting his teeth.

"Who are you calling a bitch of a drunken Bastard, you fucking SHE-MALE" Cross backfired.

"What the FUCK did you call me?!"

"Well, your so pretty, you'd pass as a bloody whore" Cross mocked.

Oh no, Allen knew those two could end up actually killing each other! _I've got to do something!_

Kanda raised Mugen in a fighting stance, "do you want a fucking sword through your face?!"

"Stop waving that pathetic shit stick around kid, I haven't got time for games."

Kanda glared, he new the consequences of striking a general and he knew it wasn't worth it. But this guy pissed him off to no end to which he couldn't contain. Kanda lashed out with fiery fury towards the red head.

All of a sudden a flash of white separated the two by getting in the way, a giant claw stopping Kanda's hard hit. "ENOUGH!" Allen shouted, glaring daggers at the two.

"Look, we're stuck in here whether we like it or not! so quit fighting over pointless shit, it's going to get us nowhere."

"Oh, so what the fuck do you suppose we do Moyashi?!" Kanda's temper was on a very thin line, even more so that he had hit his Moyashi very hard causing him to wince a little.

Allen thought for a while, then began, "Uh, well let's look around for something to do, Lavi we have food right?"

Lavi sat cross-legged on top of bookman's desk with his head in his palm "Yeah, um, sure we do!" he said enthusiastically.

"We have all the necessary things to survive for a few days right?" Allen asked again.

Lavi looked in deep thought, placing his hand under his chin in a thinking posture. "Actually, we have enough to keep us for round about a week, now that I think about it."

"That's good, well at least we know we're not going to starve" Allen breathed out a sigh of relief. "Now all we got to do is think up something to pass the time."

They all stood there thinking, trying to come up with something, all apart from Kanda who was leaning on the wall, excluding himself from the "idiots" In an attempt to meditate as usual.

Lavi broke the silence, "Ooh, I know" he sang, "Let's have a wild party and strip like there's no tomorrow!"

"There'll be no tomorrow if you don't shut the fuck up" Kanda spat.

"Yu-chan, don't be so mean" he teased, "you need to loosen up a little, sheesh."

"I swear to fucking god Usagi, call me that again and I will disembowel you."

"Oi, a strip party would've been a good idea, but considering there's no ALCOHOL, that one's off the list." Cross deadpanned looking bored leaning against the door.

"Your going to destroy your liver and die young, you don't have my sympathy." Allen stated while rolling his eyes.

"The fuck did you say you little shitbrain, do you think I give a fuck about your opinion?"

"Well, no, just saying I wont feel sorry for you when you die from an alcohol overdose." Allen sighed, still rolling his eyes.

"Oh-oh look, there goes the fuck I was about to give, I. Don't. Give. A. Shit." Cross stated in a mater of fact tone.

"You suck, you know that!" Allen exclaimed at his master's "I don't give a flying fuck" attitude.

"No, I swallow." Cross smirked, earning a horrified expression from Allen, a disgusted expression from Kanda and a rather excited expression from Lavi.

"Oh god, Shishou?! you sick minded pervert!" Allen shrieked.

"Cross, you genius! you given me a great idea!" Lavi rubbed his hands together excitedly before sneering evilly at the three, "Let's play serious truth or dare."

"Well, I'm up for it" Cross agreed before running to claim the couch.

"Oh no you don't! I want to be comfy too! Lavi bounced with energy before joining the battle for the leather sofa. Allen just facepalmed.

"Do you have any idea of what you've gotten ourselves into?! That is Cross, hell knows what questions or dares he could conjure up!" Allen began.

"Ho ho Allen, that just makes it all the better, and so much more fun!" he smirked devilishly. "Ne Yu-chan, come and play!"

"That's a fucking girls game, to think you'd actually believe I'd do something like this is bloody hilarious, and don't you fucking dare call me that again. Your death shall be slow and painful, so I hope your enjoying your last moments alive before I fucking fillet you."

"Wow Yu-chan, I think that's the most you've ever said in a conversation with me, see we're making progress." Lavi giggled.

"Go suck a fuck"

"Ne, Yu-chan how does one do that exactly? unless..." Lavi looked up at the ceiling in deep thought.

"The fuck do you think your insinuating dipshit? it's a fucking figure of speech, no one like a smart ass."

"Your such a party pooper Yu! fine, how about it, if you play you won't have to put up with me for a week? sound good?" Lavi turned to face Kanda. Both Cross and Allen listened intently.

"Make it a whole damn month"

"It's a done deal" Lavi clapped his hands together. "Alrighty then, let's get this show on the road!"

"EHHHH?! we're actually going ahead with this." Allen intervened nervously.

"What else do you fucking propose we do?" Cross snapped, crossing his legs and inhaling the thick smoke of his cigar. "Besides, if it's something fun, the time goes faster." He blew out the smoke. "So either you fucking grow up and play along, or chicken out and sit in the fucking corner."

"Alright, just don't do anything illegal." Allen sighed defeated.

The four sat in a circle, both Kanda and Allen on the carpet sitting cross-legged and Lavi sitting beside the general, both occupying the sofa.

"Ah butt fuck, I had a meeting to attend today, why the fuck didn't you remind me?" Cross sighed swatting Allen over the head.

"What?! maybe if you had told me about it, then I could of had the possibility of reminding you!"

"Shut up, your excuses are invalid dipshit" Cross cursed. "How about we start with some gossip to get us warmed up, _then _play truth or dare. There should be some juicy secrets floating about and I wanna hear em."

"Secrets? Lavi began, bouncing in excitement while wriggling his eyebrows "I've got at tonne of em, ok I think I get it, we go around in the circle and you have to spill a juicy secret, sounds good to me." Lavi smirked evilly.

"I'll start as I'm fucking superior" Cross announced. The other three brought there heads closer towards Cross, before he began in a whispered tone. "That sexy, what's her name? was at a meeting yesterday and I was going to make my move."

"You mean General Klaud nine?" Lavi asked, totally interested.

"Oh yeah, that's the one, she has a damn perfect figure, those fine, fine legs. Oh baby..."

"Shishou, stop thinking dirty thoughts." Allen snapped.

"Don't interrupt" he swatted Allen's head. "Now where was I?...Ah yes, she looked mighty fine."

"Then what happened?" Kanda asked. The others stared at him stunned and surprised, was he interested as well?

Cross continued "I asked her to meet me after the meeting was over, and she just winked so I took that as a yes."

"Do ya think she likes you? tell me what happened next! I wanna know!" Lavi complained impatiently.

"I'm getting there, just setting the scene" Cross leaned closer to the three. "After that, she gave me the key to her door."

"Then what happened?" Allen enquired, as he to was also slightly getting into it.

"Well, because of being the gentleman I am, I didn't keep her waiting. So I went to her door and before I could say anything, she pulled me in, and boy we were at it all night."

"Wow, you slept with General Klaud? Is she good in bed?" Lavi grinned playfully.

"Lavi?!" Allen shouted.

"Fuck yeah, she's ruff and that's the way I like em, damn she was riding me like a damn-" SHISHOU!?" Allen quickly stopped him before he could go into explicit detail.

Kanda's eyes where as wide as saucers.

"Allen! why did ya stop him, he was about to give us details, DETAILS!"

"Wow, how could Klaud ever fall for a guy like you?" Allen deadpanned.

"Every woman falls for me, I'm a sexy beast and they can't resist." Cross smirked. "Alright, next person."

They all turned towards Lavi who was bearing a very wide grin.

"A juicy secret eh? well, I lost my virginity in the infirmary."

They all stared apart from cross who seemed unaffected.

"Why were you having sex in the infirmary?!" Allen gasped wide-eyed.

"Ho-ho, well, would you like to hear"

"Lavi, no. just-no" Allen flailing his arms in an attempt to stop him from continuing.

"Well, you see, there was this very fit nurse."

"Lavi, I said I don't wanna know" Allen began rubbing his temples.

"So I winked at her suggestively, and obviously she couldn't resist my smokin' hot charm"

"Just stop, please just stop."

"Who was it?" Kanda murmured with curiosity."

"Ho-ho, now that is the big secret, but I'll tell you." Lavi brushed his hair out of his face. The other three seemed intrigued as to who it may be. they shifted closer to Lavi. "Well, she isn't actually a nurse, but she was wearing the uniform."

"Well spit it out!" Kanda whispered impatiently.

"None other than...Lenalee, she's less innocent than you think"

Allen choked on his spit, "What?! ok why was she in a nurse uniform?!" Kanda lifted an eyebrow and Cross looked disappointed.

"Well fuck, you beat me to it" Cross said casually while he took another drag of his cigar.

"SHISHOU?! you perverted asshole!" Allen shouted.

"So what, are you dating now?" Allen questioned.

"Well, it was a one time thing, but I still have feelings for her. He paused. Anyway enough of me, who's next?

They all stared at Allen. "Oh, uh my turn already" he laughed nervously. "Secrets, well um... I kissed a Noah?"

"Whoah Allen!, gettin' down with the enemy, ya little rebel! So was it like a make-out session with Tyki Mikk?"

"EWW WHAT THE HELL" it was Road and it was just a small chaste kiss."

"LAME, you call that a fucking secret" Cross intervened.

"I thought it was Tyki because your gay" Lavi grinned mischievously.

"Ho-ho, now we're getting somewhere" Cross leaned closer as he was somewhat interested in the new discovery of is apprentice's homosexuality.

"LAVI?! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL!" Allen screamed completely embarrassed.

Kanda side smirked up at Allen, "so your one who likes it up the ass"

Allen couldn't believe his ears, "W-what the hell Bakanda?!" he was now completely crimson red.

"Well, that would happen because you'd be the Uke in the relationship" Lavi lectured.

"W-what's a Uke?" Allen asked completely confused.

"Yup, he's definitely the Uke" Lavi lifted his hand to his chin whilst analysing Allen.

"Definitely, and always will be" Cross agreed.

"Will somebody tell me what it is, and why do I get it up the ass?!" Allen argued both confused and horrified.

"Your gay, and the only way you could stop getting it up there, is if you could tame the Seme I guess." Lavi suggested still in deep thought.

"What are you talking about? and what is the Uke?!"

"It's the person on the bottom, the one who gets it" Cross replied, amused by Allen's innocent mind-set.

Allen thought for a while.

"Did you catch on yet Moyashi" Kanda smirked, _he's fucking adorable_.

Allen went through the words in his head, _get's it? um, oh..._

"You sick bastards?! stop taking advantage of my innocent mind!" Allen puffed still blushing.

"Anyway, that's unfair, Allen gave up two secrets, moving on to Yu-Chan" Lavi grinned.

All eyes were now turned towards the now nervous Samurai.

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**Well, there it is, I hope the characters weren't occ:/, I'm totally open to constructive criticism, so tell me what you think about i****t.**

**Thank you for reading ^.^**


	3. Chapter 3 Discovery

**Well, I don't know what to think of this chapter:/ oh well, enjoy!^_^**

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"He-he, so Yu-Chan" Lavi giggled while rubbing his hands together evilly, "spill away."

The three shuffled closer to the Samurai.

"Actually, hold up! wait a second! guys I'll be back!" Lavi bounced. He got up and ran to the kitchen.

"What is it now?" Allen sweat dropped.

"Trololololo, where are you~Aha! found it!" Lavi came back from the kitchen with a giant bag of popcorn and ran to the sofa, he opened the bag and began to nom away.

"Alrighty, everyone comfy! Yu-Chan~ begin!" Lavi announced, watching intently at the bluenette.

"I'm not fucking telling you anything" Kanda pouted whilst crossing his arms.

"Aww Yu-Chan! don't be like that! Ya gonna spill one of your secrets? or shall I spill it for ya".

"You fuckass, call me that again...Hold the fuck up, did you just say spill one for me?!"

"Oh-ho, you heard me, I'll spill it out for ya if _you_ don't" Lavi added cunningly.

"Y-you don't know shit about me, I didn't fucking tell you...anything?!" Kanda hissed, tightening his grip on his crossed arms whilst shooting him a glare. _Well, maybe I told you one thing, but fucking spill that one and your dead._

"No use denying it, man up! or I'll spill it, either way it's gonna be out." Lavi grinned mischievously.

"You wouldn't fucking dare" Kanda gritted his teeth.

"Wanna bet" Lavi grinned deviously.

"Be a fucking man and spill the damn thing, I'm getting bored." Cross deadpanned.

"Still don't believe I'll spill, alright. Well, for starters, your as straight as a bendy ruler AKA. gay and you keep hard yaoi in your room." Lavi smirked scandalously. _well, I'm not that harsh, I promised not to tell about Moyashi_.

"USAGI?! YOU SHITCUNT!" _Well at least he said nothing about me having a crush on Moyashi. No that's something I need to do on my own. I swear I'll gut Usagi later._

"Hey shit apprentice, there's a seme, try taming that bitch" Cross grinned slyly whilst slowly chewing the popcorn.

"Want to say that to my face motherfucka." Kanda threatened.

_Eh? what's a seme _Allen thought.

"Well as for the yaoi, no one would blame you Yu-Chan." Lavi grinned playfully whilst putting his arm over Allen's shoulder. _Ha-ha, knowing your secret is so much fun! I love getting you jealous!_

"I swear to God Lavi, I will rip out you intestines and use them as a fucking washing line." _Bitch, take your fucking arm off my Moyashi._

"So Lavi, how do you know he keeps hard yaoi in his room?" Allen asked, still trying to keep within the conversation.

"Now, where shall I start...Ah yes, everyone gather around. Story time~3"

They all shifted closer to the hyperactive rabbit, before he began excitedly.

"Ho-ho, It was a bright sunny day at the order! and I was up to my usual pranking, when all of a sudden I had an urge to go pester Yu-Chan!"

"Will you fucking get to the point" Cross intervened, swatting the rabbits head.

"Hey! why don't I get to set the scene?! sheesh! alright. I bugged him like I usually do."

"So, what was his reaction?" Allen asked.

"Well he picked up the closest thing to him and flung it at my face in an attempt to shoo me away, then he shut the door."

"Lavi, I'm warning you, shut the fuck up!" Kanda intervened, a throbbing vain at the side of his head appeared.

"So, then what happened?" Allen questioned, somewhat intrigued.

" I was sure he threw some kind of book at my face, I opened my eyes, and oh boy did I nosebleed. Fuck! It was open on a page with two guys, wow that position they were in...all I can say, is that it was freakin' hot! so what have you got to say for yourself Yu-Chan?"

"Ye, so what if there was hard yaoi in my room." Kanda said in a monotone voice while scratching the back of his head.

They all stared at his sudden confession.

"Hey, Lavi do you still have it? I fucking want a copy." Cross butted in.

The three turned to him wearing their WTF faces.

"It was a fucking special addition too, you didn't give it back." Kanda deadpanned.

"You should do that more often, ya know, throwing hard yaoi in my face. Hell that'll shut me up and keep me occupied for a week!" Lavi admitted.

Kanda smirked. "Hey Moyashi, Lavi can show you the copy and maybe you'll learn a thing or two."

"Ne Bakanda, what are you trying to say" Allen glared.

"Your don't want to be so inexperienced when you do it." Kanda grinned evilly.

"Eh? who says I'm inexperienced and how the hell do you gain experience from reading hard yaoi? also If your recommending I read it because I'm gay, then why the hell are _you_ using it? Allen asked straight forwardly.

"Ho-ho Allen, you'll never get him to admit that, in a million years" Lavi indicated.

"I'm also gay, there, I fucking said it." he breathed out a sigh. Kanda turned his head to the side to avoid all possible eye contact.

Allen's heart nearly skipped a beat. Lavi just gaped, his jaw nearly touching the ground as he still sat there completely wide-eyed.

"Come on, that's completely obvious , tell me something I don't know, like you had buttsex with Krory or something". Cross deadpanned, while eating the remainder of the popcorn.

"THE FUCK?!" Kanda shrieked disgustedly.

"Jesus...not hot at all!" Lavi disapprovingly shuddered.

"Shishou! EW!?" Allen gagged.

"And what the fuck makes it "completely obvious" the fact I'm gay you dipshit." Kanda backfired.

"Ho, wouldn't _you _love to know"

"Ne, Yu-Chan, just make sure I don't catch you doing those positions with anyone, cus I'll just die of blood loss!" Lavi interrupted, smirking while looking specifically at Allen. "I mean, the guys leg frikin' defied the laws of gravity! yeah that's a position I wanna try out"

"I've done all positions humanely possible, some of the angles you can get are fucking amazing" Cross intervened.

"Where is this conversation going?" Allen deadpanned. There was a silence, only for Allen to break it.

"What's a seme?"

The three stared at the very confused Moyashi who caught their attention.

"Oh-ho, the seme is the topper, the one who does the work" Lavi concluded. "A good example of a seme is Yu-Chan! yeah, he'd definitely be the seme in the relationship, There's no way he'd let anyone top him!" Lavi smirked up at Kanda, "isn't that right Yu"

"I'm not fucking saying anything." Kanda spat.

"Oh, so it's just the opposite of Uke right?" Allen questioned nervously.

"Yeah that's right, see not so hard" Lavi smiled kind heartedly, while placing his palm under his chin.

"Oi, what time is it?" Cross demanded while scanning the room for a clock.

Lavi took out a small pocket watch out of Bookman's drawer "Uh, its already nine o'clock, wow! where the hell did the time go?"

"How the fuck has no one noticed that four of their best exorcists have gone missing? it's a little odd." Kanda grunted while standing up.

"Yeah, as much as I hate to say it Kanda, your right" Allen agree, while following Kanda's example of standing turning towards the other three, holding a thoughtful expression.

"Well, I call the couch!" with that, Cross jumped onto the sofa sending Lavi flying off, making him belly flop the floor.

"Hey! no fair, what was that for ya ass!?" Lavi winged while rubbing his hurt areas.

"Well, if we're staying here for the night, I don't want to get a crooked back from laying on the fucking floor." Cross stated. "I'm sleeping here"

"You selfish dipshit" Kanda swore, while crossing his arms.

Lavi ran and jumped onto Bookman's comfy desk chair, "Tags me sleepin' here!" he slumped comfortably into the chair and brought a pillow to his chest before speaking. "Ne Yu-Chan, Allen , find a place to sleep, then come back here so we can play truth or dare!" Lavi declared excitedly.

"You two have taken up the comfy places, how the fuck do you expect us to find somewhere to sleep when the only place left, is in the kitchen?"

"Beats me! You'll work it out" Lavi exclaimed, while snuggling further into the chair.

Allen and Kanda glared daggers at the two searching for a comfortable place to sleep. They both entered the kitchen. Kanda looked around before finding a suitable place.

"Oi Moyashi, I'm taking this area so don't cross it" Kanda stated, while looking at a comfortable looking space near the laundry basket.

"Ne Bakanda, where the hell am I supposed to sleep? In the washing machine?"

"Ye you could try that, you're fucking small enough" Kanda side smirked, looking down at the white haired boy.

"Asshole, why don't I shove you in there, maybe that'll clean your foul mouth" Allen deadpanned.

"No one tells me what to do. I can fucking swear if I want to" Kanda replied.

"Guhh, your hopeless." Allen sighed. He looked at him while crossing his arms, but squinted his eyes as he noticed something behind Kanda right next to the laundry basket.

"Ne Bakanda, what's that?" Allen asked while walking towards the Bluenette.

"What's what?" Kanda turned around. "I don't see anything."

"Look harder Baka" Allen replied.

The Samurai squinted his eyes and yes, he could see a door behind him, camouflaged into the wall as it had the same colour as the paint on the kitchen walls.

The two crouched down. "Hey Bakanda, what do you think is behind here?" Allen whispered.

"Probably Bookman's porno stash, that old fucker has some weird fetishes."

"How the hell would you know that?!"

"Usagi" Kanda deadpanned.

"Ah" Allen nodded in understanding.

"Hey we need a key, do you think we should open it?" Allen asked while staring at the other with a sneaky expression.

"Who needs a key? I'll fucking bash it down" Kanda half whispered before getting up and kicking it down.

"Bakanda! You stupid idiot! Lavi will hear us!" Allen struggled to whisper.

"Big fucking deal" Kanda hissed, still attempting to whisper.

Allen peered behind the door, only to see a flight of stairs leading into darkness. "Ne Kanda, it's dark down there. We'll need to be careful."

"Your telling me to be fucking careful? I can take care of myself Moyashi"

"Yeah whatever"

"You shouldn't fucking care so mu-"

With that Allen fell forward, only to pull on Kanda's long hair from behind, yanking the samurai down with him making him yelp. They both continuously stumbled aggressively down the stairs until they reached the bottom in a heap on the ground.

It was pitch black. Allen was laying on his back staring into darkness, his brain tried to collect the information as to what happened and before he knew it, he noticed a heavy wait on top of his body.

"K-kanda?" Allen whispered softly.

Kanda lifted his head out of the crook of Allen's neck, "Fucking hell Moyashi" he rubbed his own head. "You dipshit, why didn't you fucking fall by yourself"

"Heh, talk about Déjà vu" Allen laughed

"Fucking stop that" Kanda grunted

"Stop what?"

"Laughing, because I'm on top of you and the vibration from you laughing feels fucking weird"

Allen just laughed some more.

"Shut up"

"Ha-ha, make me-"

With that, Allen's eyes widened as he felt warm lips lock with his. Although he couldn't see anything, the feeling of the others mouth was euphoric. Allen kissed back slowly but full of longing and soon ended up deepening the kiss and before they knew it, they were making out.

Kanda broke the kiss to breathe while Allen lay there completely speechless.

"Well that shut you up better than I thought" Kanda smirked while keeping his face close to Allen's, his hair cascading down creating a lush curtain around their faces.

"K-kanda, why did you? Well uh… kiss me? Allen whispered while blushing profusely.

"Wow, your really dense aren't you Moyashi" he bent down slowly to whisper into Allen's ear. "aishiteru _Arren_"

Allen couldn't believe his ears, the way he said his name made his heart flutter,

the stubborn Samurai whom he loved so much, the very person who he loved for a very long time had kissed him and confessed to him. Finally, he could confess without a doubt. "Aishiteru Bakanda"

Allen tried to kiss him back, but it was so dark so he ended up kissing Kanda's nose making him yelp at the strange feeling.

"Ha-ha, sorry" Allen blushed dark crimson. "So uh, does this mean we're going out?"

"Heh, we'll sure" Kanda smirked, while possessively squeezing the other tight . "Your mine now"

Kanda looked up while breaking their intimate moment, as his eyes began to adjust to the dark lighting, he noticed something behind Allen's head. "Hey Moyashi, I found the stash"

"Eeh?! Bookman's porn?" Allen turned while wearing a horrified expression.

"No look" Kanda whispered, pointing at a box.

Allen adjusted is eyes, "hey that's red Porte wine, wait a minute, this is Cross's wine stash!"

Kanda squinted his eyes to look up at the lit up side of the wall "Hey Moyashi look, I think I found the light switch" he walked toward the switch and flicked it on. The room lit up completely. There was a table in the middle of the room with a single pack of cards. On the left side of the room was a bundle of cushions and pillows.

"How odd?" Allen thought aloud. "Well, at least we can tell him we found it"

"Lets take these blankets and cushions up, at least we'll have fucking something to sleep on." Kanda deadpanned.

"Ok, and I'll bring up a few bottles." Allen responded while collecting a few.

The two reached the stairs, only to see a figure blocking the remaining light from the doorway.

"There you two are! I was getting worried you'd do something to Moyashi Yu-Chan!" Lavi shouted. "Aw cool! You guys found the alcohol, bring it up! Ne, Yu-Chan, Allen-Kun I completely forgot about this basement~. Yeah, this was Cross's room at some point." Lavi stated while scratching his head.

Allen sweat dropped. "Well, help us bring this stuff up, then we can play the game" Allen suggested. _Holy shit! I hope he wasn't secretly perving on us!_

"Hockey dokey, will do~"

The three picked up as much as they could and began walking up the stairs. Allen grinned as he slid the pack of cards into his pocket.

* * *

**So yeah, please review, I love to hear from you all:3 **

**Oh well, hope you liked it ~030~**


	4. Chapter 4 unexpected

Lavi began to climb up the steep creaky stairs followed by the other two, carrying two bottles of rosé wine in one hand, and a blue striped cushion in the other.

Kanda was carrying the small pile of dusty worn duvets with both hands, and Allen was carrying up the remainder of the moth-eaten cushions as well as another two bottles. He didn't want to bring up all of them, because Cross practically got high on the stuff.

The three had just reached the top of the stairs, Kanda dumped the covers in the laundry basket and both Lavi and Allen stacked the bottles in the fridge. "Yu-Chan! those things are dirty! go and put the cushion and duvet covers in the washing machine right now!" Lavi ordered, while resting his hands on his hips.

He glared at the rabbit. "I'll fucking do it when I get round to it, call me that again and I'll shove Mugen up your ass" Kanda spat, while looking into the cupboard under the sink for the washing powder.

"Well, I'll leave you two to it then, see you in the lounge once you've sorted your bedding out!" Lavi bounced while exiting the room.

Kanda grabbed the detergent and walked up to the washing machine.

"Ne, Bakanda, pass me the powder" Allen said, keeping his gaze on the blankets, while throwing the contents of the laundry basket into the machine. "Hey, Kanda, some of these covers are useless" Allen continued, looking at the remainder of ripped sheets.

"Actually, all of the sheets are torn apart from one-"

He stopped, to Allen's surprise, Kanda had grabbed him from behind bringing him close to his chest. He rested his head onto the crook of Allen's neck making him blush bright scarlet.

"Well, wanna share the one blanket?" Kanda smirked deviously, gripping him tighter.

"W-what?! It's ok you can have it."

"I don't want my Moyashi to catch a cold" kanda grinned.

"We'd have to be quite close to each other, I thought you hated intimacy" Allen smirked, while turning to face his lover.

"Tch, your an exception" kanda side smirked, biting Allen's earlobe.

"Ah-h y-yu" Allen tensed at the soft hot touches. The soft moans had turned Kanda on, he wanted more of his Moyashi.

He lifted Allen up onto the counter and Allen possessively wrapped his legs around the samurai, bringing him closer. They both indulged into a lustful kiss.

Allen started to trail his hands up under his lover's top and caress that warm muscular body.

"Naughty aren't you" Kanda smirked into the kiss as he grabbed Allen's Ass thrusting him forward toward his crotch, making the other yelp.

At that precise moment Lavi walked in through the door.

The two jumped at the intrusion. Kanda quickly ruffled his hair before crossing his arms and looking to the side as if nothing happened. Allen, who was still blushing just scratched his head and turned to the side in an attempt to look normal whilst clearing his throat, still seated atop the counter.

"Well, well, what's happenin' here?" Lavi grinned, while leaning on the door frame, crossing his arms.

"Nothing" Kanda replied quickly but calmly.

"Oh-ho, I think I know what I saw Yu-Chan! Damn, I bet if I didn't come in, you'd be having hot sex on the frinkin' counter already and I wouldn't know about it, that was hot! it was getting steamy in here!" He began fanning himself.

"LAVI?! H-he was just uh, passing me the washing powder…" Allen stuttered.

"Oh suuurrreee, riiighht! Cus that's what it looked like" Lavi giggled, "I won't tell anyone….unless the occasion calls for it."

"Ho-ho, if I catch you two in some sexy position, don't be freaked out if I whip out a sketch pad and start drawing what I see!"

The two shot him terrifying death glares. "Get the fuck out" Kanda glared gritting his teeth. He strode up to the rabbit and pushed him out before locking the door.

"How I hate that fucker" Kanda spat.

"Now where were we?" Allen grinned evilly, face still flushed.

"Eager are we?" Kanda smirked, grabbing Allen, forcing him to lay down on the counter, Kanda began trailing butterfly kisses up Allen's abdomen. "Nn-ng ah-h, nngh"

Allen ran his fingers through Kanda's soft long hair, making the samurai moan at the sensation.

The door burst open again, the two turned their heads quickly toward the door, there was no time to move from their awkward position.

"Whoah-ho! don't stop on my account! Allen when your done, can you fetch the table in the basement, just so we have something to put the food and drinks on" Lavi grinned.

"Uh, yeah sure?" Allen spoke, still laying down with his legs wrapped the other.

"How the fuck did you get in?" Kanda spat dangerously, still laying on Allen.

"Ho-ho, years of practice, let's say picking the lock to your room has given me this skill." Lavi confessed, wriggled his eyebrows at the smexy sight in front of him.

"Well, I guess I'll leave ya to it!" with that , Lavi winked at the two then walked out of the room bearing a huge grin.

The two lay there, put off by their continuous interruptions, now they were definitely not in the mood. "Fucking Usagi" Kanda gritted his teeth.

"Ne Bakanda, we'll finish this off another time" Allen smirked reassuringly. "I better go get that table then." Kanda let his grip lose, to let the other go.

"Hurry up Moyashi" he grinned, sneakily slapping Allen's ass as he turned to walk to the basement door. Only for Allen to turn his head, sending his lover a flirtatious wink.

Allen got to the door and began walking slowly down the steep stairs. He finally reached the bottom, but the room was pitch black. _Now where the hell is that light switch? _

His eyes began to adjust to the dark lighting, as he could see the table in the middle. But something caught his attention. The smell of smoke filled the air. _A fire? no, it smells like cigarette smoke. _Allen went to serious mode, "Crown Clown activate." He became weary of his surroundings and put up his claw in a fighting stance.

"Who's there" Allen shouted, still mentally looking for the light switch.

There was no reply.

Allen shuffled further into the room_. Aha! there it is! _He found the switch and slowly flicked it on, only to hear a familiar voice coming from one corner of the room behind him.

"Shou-nen?"

Allen turned quickly to face the intruder. Allen recognised him instantly, none other than the Noah of pleasure, Tykki Mikk.

"What are you doing here? and how the hell did you get into the order?" Allen spat, still keeping up his weapon while glaring at the enemy.

"Hey, no need for temper, the Earl is having some trouble so I haven't received orders to kill any of you or attack the order. plus, my powers have disappeared" Tykki spoke in a rather bored monotonous tone.

"As for the reason I'm here" he let out an exasperated sigh, "Road found a way to get into the order, through a portal."

"What! is the portal still open?!"

"No, let me continue." he seated himself on the floor. "I completely forgot about me loosing my powers, so when she said she found a way into the order and wanted me to go through, I agreed."

"Yeah? so then what?" Allen glared.

"I went through the portal, ending up here. But the portal closed up, so I was stuck in this place. Then I felt like a total dipshit, as realised I didn't have my powers. So what possible damage could I do?" he questioned while rubbing his temples.

"So, you say you've lost your powers, how?" Allen demanded out of curiosity.

"Dunno, as soon I came within range, or had contact with the order I guess." He said, holding up a thinking pose.

-"Oh yeah? when was that?" Allen questioned, slightly aggravated.

-"yesterday"

A loud voice could be heard at the top of the stairs. "Oi Moyashi! your fucking taking your time, the table to heavy for you?" Kanda grinned mockingly.

"Bakanda! It's ALLEN. A.L.L.E.N! and no, It's not heavy at all, just give me a minute."

"Tch, whatever" with that Kanda went to go get a drink from the fridge.

There was a silence.

"Is he your boyfriend" Tykki smirked, before getting up and leaning on the wall.

"Ehh?! what makes you say that?!" Allen argued, while turning his head to the side as a pink tint appeared on his cheeks.

"Well, I've been down here for about six minutes, and the only thing I could hear was two people going at it"

"What?! err, It could have been someone else" Allen responded nervously while scratching the back of his head.

"Oh really, all I could hear was your voice, well, moans. It sounded something like this, "NNNNHGGG YU-CHAN BABEH! NNGGGHHHH! well something like that." Tykki grinned widely.

"W-what! Not so loud! well for your information! we were not "doing it" we were uh-"

-"Making out?" the Noah corrected.

"Well, uh maybe, and I did not sound like that! you made it sound like I was overly constipated?!"

"Eh? why would you say "Yu-Chan" on the loo if you were constipated?"

"That's besides the point! fine, we were making out. I was moaning, not frikin' giving birth!"

"Na, I'm sure the impression I did was pretty accurate" the Noah concluded bearing a growing smirk.

Allen took this opportunity to see if it was true at the fact he lost his powers. He jolted at the distracted enemy and charged his clawed hand at the Noah, only to stop a few millimetres from his face. Tykki did fight back, as an instinct he took his hand and tried to jab it through Allen as his power allows him to go through anything. But his hand never went through.

"Told you so, caught me by surprise there Allen Walker." he sighed, "now do you believe me?"

"Your still an enemy, but I believe you" Allen sighed.

Meanwhile Kanda was sitting on top of the counter, drinking some soda. He heard approaching footsteps coming from the creaky basement stairs. He lifted his head as Allen spoke. "Ne Bakanda, whatever you do, do not lash out when I come up the stairs."

"What the fuck do you mean Moyashi?" Kanda questioned, totally confused.

"Just promise me you won't" Allen gulped nervously.

"I promise, now tell me what the fuck is going on."

Allen appeared around the door, only holding the left side of the table. Kanda stared as another figure appeared, holding the right side. Kanda recognised him almost instantly. Anger replaced his calm features. The person in front of him was a Noah, an enemy. Regardless of Moyashi's promise, Kanda lashed out with fiery fury.

"Bakanda! stop!" Allen shouted, taking yet again another blow to his innocence.

"What the FUCK is he doing here and how the FUCK did he get in!"

"STOP, he can't harm us! he's lost his powers!" Allen struggled to shout.

"That's bullshit" Kanda hissed, gritting his teeth.

"It's a long story, so CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" Allen cursed dangerously.

Kanda stopped instantly, as it was rare that the oh so innocent Allen Walker swore. He sheathed Mugen back in it's place and listened intently as to what the Noah had to say. Five minutes went by.

"So you mean to tell me, that fucker over there, the enemy, is fucking locked in with us as well." Kanda tensed, sending glares of painful death toward the Noah.

"Ooh, don't be so harsh, if we're stuck in here together, I suggest we should try to get along." Tykki complied.

"Why don't I fucking cut you up and throw you back down into the basement where you belong." Kanda suggested.

"Ne Kanda, I think it would be better if he was up here with us so we can keep an eye on him, all four of us are enough to take him down. Just so he doesn't come up with something or do anything down there." Allen added.

Kanda thought for a while. "Fine, but the moment you fucking try something stupid, I'll fucking enjoy slicing you up." he glared.

"Sure, I wont do anything." Tykki agreed.

Lavi threw open the door, making the three turn. "Gosh dang! I thought I could have caught you in the act! you should have been halfway through intercourse by now~" Lavi froze. "Did I miss something? Isn't that Tykki Mikk? Hey! were you having a threesome?!"

"USAGI?! threesome my ass!" Kanda intervened.

Tykki stared at the rabbit_. _His eyes widened, _Holy shit he's hot! _In Tykki's eyes every movement Lavi made appeared in slow motion, it was pure sexiness, his hair swishing erotically, while his green shimmering eyes pierced right through his heart and soul.

"Well Lavi, it's a long story" ~ Allen took two minutes to explain everything as for Lavi being a bookman, he caught on pretty quickly.

"So, it's like we're acquaintances for today, not enemies~ wow that's weird." Lavi admitted. "Well, let's go play truth or dare."

Tykki grinned "That sounds like fun, oh and Walker."

"Uh-h, yeah"

"I saw the pack of cards in your pocket, all of us could do with a round of poker, maybe afterwards?"

Allen went dark while grinning evilly "Heh, bring it on"

The three went to the lounging area. Cross was on the sofa, snoring as loud as a frikin' thunderstorm.

"Jesus, will someone wake him up! Imma' gonna go deaf!" Lavi complained, holding his hands up to his ears.

Allen sighed, "I'll do it". He approached the red head. "SHISHOU! WAKE UP!"

Cross lay there unaffected by the loud wake-up call.

Allen changed his tactics, "Baby, don't keep me waiting, I'll give you another tenner if you give me a blow job!"~ he half shouted. Earning strange stares from the trio behind him.

"I'M UP!" Cross jumped from the sofa.

Allen sighed. "Same as always"

"Wahoah! what I wouldn't give to have that as my wake-up call" Lavi bounced.

"Why the fuck did you wake me up?" Cross demanded.

"Just to let you know so you wouldn't freak out later when you woke up, that there is a Noah with us." Allen deadpanned.

Cross adjusted his sleepy half- closed eyes, and yes right next to Lavi stood the tall handsome figure of Tykki Mikk. Straight away, he slung out his gun and pointed it straight at the Noah's head.

"THE FUCK is he doing here? and why haven't you three killed him already?"

"Now THAT, is a very good question, but it has a very good explanation." Lavi intervened.

"He's a fucking enemy, there are no excuses." Cross stated.

"Shishou, listen!" Allen ordered. The three explained the situation as quickly as possible to avoid being caught up in a potential crossfire.

"So, we'll just have to keep a close eye on this motherfucker? well I'm not fucking baby sitting."

"Well, it's not like he's a threat or anything, he's powerless" Allen indicated.

"Ok, we won't consider you as an enemy, just for today. As we'll have to fucking share this room with you." Cross pointed out.

"Just for today" Tykki agreed.

"Oh and by the way, around half an hour ago, I could swear I could smell sex." Cross squinted his eyes while looking at the four in front of him.

"O-ho, Cross! you have killer instinct!" Lavi grinned. Earning the subtle death glares from Allen and Kanda.

"Heh, and those instincts never lie, so speak up lovebirds." Cross emphasized, while sitting back down on the sofa, crossing his legs.

"Oh yes, I could definitely hear two people doing something in the kitchen" Tykki smirked.

"Ooh, nothin' better that hot sex in the kitchen!" Lavi side smirked.

Now cross had an idea of who the couple was, as both Tykki and Lavi were giving the remaining two exorcists mischievous grins.

"So apprentice, finally a man eh?" Cross smirked.

"Shishou?! I didn't do anything like that!" Allen shrieked.

"So, managed to tame this bitch then?"

"I'm not some bitch you fuckass." Kanda intervened.

"Oh, so it was with you then." Cross indicated.

"Shishou! we didn't have sex of the frikin' counter!"

"You didn't eh? well I'll tell you some things you'll find useful." Cross dictated.

"No just-no, I'm not listening!" Allen pulled his hair back in frustration.

"When you do it anal, there's a spot ya gotta hit dead on."

"O god, sweet mother of Mary, stop. just stop."

"What does that spot do?" Tykki intervened.

"If done right, it makes you hit high heaven, to kingdom come!"

"Jesus...Cross, stop talking." Kanda hissed. a pulsating vain appearing on the side of his head.

"When he'll start pounding into you, all you can say is. "MORE! AH FUCK YES, NNNGGHHH! BABEHHH! AH FUCK! RIGHT THERE!"

"Oh-oh Jesus Christ, I give up" Allen sighed.

"Any way, we'll come back to that another time, then I can teach you some great positions" Cross lectured. "Now let's finally play truth or dare, I'm in the mood"

Allen facepalmed in embarrassment.

The two lovers sat next to each other, Lavi sat on the other side of Allen, Tykki next to Lavi and Cross in between Kanda and Tykki.

"Alright, I'm Going to obviously start first!" Cross stated, turning towards Kanda.


	5. Chapter 5 Truth or Dare

**So, here's another chapter! sorry if I was a little late...stupid math exams~ Anyway, enough excuses! onto the story~030~**

* * *

Cross took a big drag of his near finished cigar before beginning the dreaded question, the other three turned their intent gazes toward the stubborn bluenette teen. "So, what's it gonna be, Truth or Dare girly?"

"Dare" he glared. "I'm no girl, bitch."

"Just remember you can't back out" he grinned deviously.

"Who says I'm gonna back out." Kanda declared confidently, "just get it over and done with."

Ah jeez, here we go. Allen knew that Cross was capable of anything, certainly when it came to games like these. He rubbed his temples in anticipation.

"I dare you to fake a real good saucy orgasm" Cross grinned evilly. Kanda gave him a disgusted stoic look, before letting out an annoyed sigh "Che, I'd have to be pissed out of my mind to do that."

"Lavi! open one of the bottles and give it to this afraid little pussy" Cross demanded.

Kanda shot him a demonic glare, he definitely did NOT want be called anything associated to a coward EVER, "Usagi! Hand me a bottle" he gritted his teeth.

"Hehe, sure thing Yu!" Lavi bent down at the table containing the wine, and picked out the one he thought could get him drunk the quickest. He ran over to where they were sitting and handed one rather large bottle over to the pissed off samurai, said samurai opened the bottle top with one swift motion, before chugging the contents down greedily.

He only managed to drink three quarters of the sour stuff as anymore would have made him throw up over the four, well that didn't seem like a bad idea. The four gave him five minutes to fall slightly under the influence of alcohol.

* * *

"Alright fuckers, I'll do the dare" Kanda began, his cheeks slightly rosy, although he had consumed a lot, it would take him a lot more to get him "pissed out of his mind" so technically he was just a little tipsy.

Lavi began chuckling continuously, "ha-ha, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, definitely wanna hear this! Someone gimmie popcorn, this is gonna be good!"

"Loud and clear, so all of us can hear it" Tykki smirked toward the samurai, while munching on a random banana. The four glued their eyes onto the teen.

Kanda rolled his eyes before starting unexpectedly, "mmmnng ah ah" he began with slow provocative lustful throaty moans. The four sat there surprised, intrigued and almost turned on, damn he was good.

Allen swallowed thickly, hearing his boyfriend moan like some whore was pure ecstasy, his trousers were getting tighter and tighter by the millisecond. _Fuck!, if he keeps this up I'm gonna end up jumping him right here right now! It's cool, calm your tits Allen, calm em!_

Lavi sat there slowly chewing the popcorn, he was totally going to nosebleed a tidal wave, _holy crap, this is better than porn! Fuck it's getting warm in here_. As if things couldn't get him more turned on, he blinked twice before spotting Tykki eating the banana very, very suggestively.

Kanda stopped, fully satisfied as he saw the others breaking into a sweat, or fanning themselves and pulling at their collars.

"Holy shit Yu! You have some frikin' sexy moans!" Lavi interrupted, while pulling his bandana off in an attempt to cool himself.

"Well, you certainly were good at that" Cross smirked.

"Fucking dipshit, I wont be doing that again" Kanda glared, only to subtly smirk as this won't be the last time his Moyashi hears them.

"So, now you pick someone pretty boy" Cross grinned menacingly

"Alright Cross, truth or dare" Kanda smirked, upholding an evil glint in his eyes.

"Dare" Cross answered quick and clearly.

"I dare you to make out with Usagi" Kanda told him.

Lavi jumped, sending a horrified expression toward the grinning teen. "W-what?! Ah come on! Why couldn't it be with Allen, or even Tykki! Smooching that guy is gonna give me a hernia!"

"Shut up an' come here~" with that Cross lunged forward, taking the rabbit by surprise, locking their lips together. The two began making out on the floor.

"EWEWEW, that's just ew, there are no words that can describe that." Allen intervened.

The two finished the session. "WOW THAT WAS WEIRD!" Lavi began, breathing for air. "Cross, don't ever rape my mouth again! Allen, fetch me soap so I can rinse out my voluptuous mouth!" he wined while rubbing off or spitting Cross's reminiscence out of his mouth.

Cross sighed, "Alright, back to me! So Apprentice, truth or dare!"

"Uh, truth?" he answered nervously.

"When was the last time you masturbated, and explain exactly in detail how you did it using a banana"

This obviously made Tykki choke on the banana, he would never look at one the same way again.

"WHAT?! can I change it to dare?" Allen asked desperately.

"Alright, go up to your lover and measure his dick using a ruler and tell us the size" Cross grinned wickedly.

"What?! Cross you evil bastard!" He didn't want to show them how he masturbated, nor did he want to measure his lovers p-private part! _Argghh Cross you asshole! Um uh, damn which one! I don't know, just pick one dammit!_

"Um-err Dare! I mean, no uh!" Allen stuttered.

"Dare it is then!" Cross replied.

Kanda turned toward them bearing an evident horrified face. "O hell no, no one is gonna pull out _my_ dick and start measuring it with some metre stick!"

"Heh, metre stick you say, sorry to disappoint you, I only _have_ a ruler" with that Cross whipped out thirty centimetre sized ruler out of only god knows where.

"Bakanda, let's get this over with" Allen sighed nervously. Kanda tensed, although he felt calm about it. Fuck, if he was totally sober, he wouldn't even have considered it. Kanda got up and turned his back to the four.

"Hurry up Moyashi." Allen got up, ruler in hand. He felt the other three staring intently at his actions and movements behind him. The two lovers looked awkwardly at each other before Allen crouched down to undo his trousers at the front.

Kanda crossed his arms, while turning his head to the side, he really didn't care nor did it seem to bother him much. Allen bit his bottom lip, before quickly glancing up to see kanda's face, then back down at his crotch. All could hear the "zzzziiippp"

Allen stared, bug-eyed as he gulped "…w-wow….."

"Stop staring and measure the damn thing" Kanda smirked inwardly.

"Bakanda! Give me time to uh l-line it u-up!"

Allen tried so hard not to touch his, his d-d.. and he awkwardly put the ruler next to it.

Allen managed to measure accurately, he gulped yet again.

"So, tell us the size Walker" Tykki grinned

"H-he's a-a seven incher"

"Wow Yu-Chan! Dang! your large down there!" Lavi bounced.

Kanda smirked down at Allen, who was now zipping his trousers back up for him. The two rejoined the circle on the floor as they continued their game.

"Alright, it's my turn" Allen started. "So Lavi, truth or dare" he smirked.

"Hehe, cus everyone is doing dares, I pick truth!"

"Who in this room do you find the most sexually attractive?" he asked.

"Whoa! Where shall I start, mmmm…. Cross, your pretty sexy. Kanda, your smoking' hot. Allen, your cute but have a dark sexy side. Tykki, your handsome, sexy and hot! So I'm gonna say Tykki! But I swear I could have a boner over all of ya" he admitted.

"Lavi, I'm gonna pretend I never heard that." Allen said.

The other three were slightly offended that he had chosen the enemy over them. Then again, if he had picked Allen, Kanda would have probably castrated him and keep his Moyashi at a safe far away distance from the horny rabbit.

"Thanks' for the compliment" Tykki smirked, giving off a subtle wink at the rabbit.

"Hehe, no problem" Lavi replied, bringing his palm under his chin. There was a pause, the three looked at the two, before Allen tried to break the moment by clearing his throat.

Lavi collected himself, "Oh hehe right, it's my turn!" Lavi turned back toward the Noah, "so truth or dare!"

"Umm, truth?" he scratched he back of his head tiredly.

"Do you own a thong? If so are you wearing it now?" Lavi grinned.

The three turned their heads dramatically toward the Rabbit like he's totally lost it.

"Uh…no.." Tykki turned his head to the side like he was hiding something.

Lavi grinned, "you gotta answer truthfully ya know."

The three turned toward the Noah, all raising an eyebrow.

"So what if I do own one?" he cleared his throat.

"So, are you wearing it now?" Lavi smirked.

"ehem...Maybe"

The three gave him a rather estranged look. "Uh….why are you wearing a thong?" Allen asked.

"Bua..ha..hahaha " Cross began. "So that's where my pair went"

The four turned in perfect synchronisation upholding terrified expressions.

"Wait what, hehe I knew he was wearing one, but I uh, didn't know it was… yours?" Lavi squinted his eyes in mild confusion.

"How the fuck did you know he was wearing a thong?" Kanda asked sceptically.

"Ha that's easy, I saw it when he sat down" Lavi said.

The two lovers didn't know whether to be terrified at the fact Tykki was wearing a thong (confused as they don't know how that even works) or the fact, they were apparently Cross's.

"And why the fuck were you looking at his backside?" Kanda smirked.

"W-well, it's bright red in comparison to his clothes and it was showing." Lavi replied in a failed matter of fact tone.

"So why are you um…wearing a thong then?" Allen asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well, it's not like I love wearing them….or anything" Tykki cleared his throat. "Road was being annoying as usual, and well she dared me to wear them for about a day, I don't even know where she got them from." Now the three had got that out of the way, they turned their questionable faces toward Cross.

"What? I like wearing them from time to time, gotta problem with that?" Cross argued, keeping his face expressionless.

The four fell anime style~

"So, I guess it's my turn now" Tykki stated. "So Allen, truth or dare" he asked.

"Uh Truth?"

"Go around the circle, smell our breath, and tell us truthfully who has the worst"

"Ugh, Alright" Allen shuddered.

He went onto all fours and faced his lover, placing both hands on each of Kanda's crossed legs. Now both were face to face. Kanda rolled his eyes before letting out a warm sensual breath from his lips. Allen closed his eyes as he sniffed.

It smelt like soba noodles, with traces of cool mint and just a hint of alcohol, it was very pleasant. Satisfied, he then crawled over to the energised rabbit. Allen went up close to his face, Lavi smirked and let out a sharp breath. Allen breathed in the hot air.

It smelt exactly like popcorn? It wasn't unpleasant I guess. He then crawled over to Tykki and leaned in toward his face. Tykki let out a tired sigh. Allen could smell the strong scent of cigarettes mixed up with chocolate. Mm..bittersweet, not bad but not good either.

He then crawled over toward his master. Cross let out a huge breath, practically depriving Allen of oxygen. Allen grew pale, it smelt of very concentrated alcohol and very strong Cigar smoke. Allen squinted his eyes to "protect" them from the vial scent. He backed away before sitting in the middle of the circle.

"So tell us, who has the worst" Tykki enquired.

"Cross" Allen coughed, still attempting to get rid of the lingering scent from his nasal cavities.

"And that guy was practically sucking off my face earlier, the taste's still in my mouth!" Lavi exclaimed.

Time went by, and to spice things up a bit, Cross gathered a few bottles and all of them now had a bottle between them. All of them were now a little more than tipsy.

Allen became more flirtatious, Lavi was more hyperactive, if that was even possible. Cross was an angry drunk, Kanda became light-headed and sleepy. Tykki became happy and giggly

"Hehe, I want another go." Allen giggled. "Ne Shishou, truth or dare?"

"Dare" Cross answered.

"Go dry hump the sofa" Allen batted his eyelashes innocently, face flushed.

"Alright" Cross stood up and wobbled toward the sofa and began grinding it uncontrollably. Only for him to kick and curse it as it wasn't "co-operating or grinding him back"

Lavi was very fidgety and hyper "I need to hump something riiight nowwwww!" he wined.

"Hey, hehe your so sexy!" Tykki giggled, glomping Lavi completely out of the blue.

"yesyesyes I know I am! Your pretty sexy yourself!" he pinned the Noah onto the floor.

Meanwhile Allen went on all fours and crawled seductively toward the bluenette teen in a scandalous manner. Kanda looked up at him with drowsy lustful eyes as his lover approached him like a stealthy cooger. "Ne Bakandaaaa! Come play with me!" Allen demanded his voice slightly slurred.

"No, no, lemmie alone! I wanna s-hshleep" Kanda argued.

Allen pouted. "No! I wanna play" with that he pounced onto his lover, totally flooring him

"Heyy what was that for, ya bitch!" Kanda exclaimed. "No-one tops meeeh!" With that, he flipped Allen over so now he was the one topping and straddling Allen's hips.

"Bakanda, lemmi go baka!" with that Allen brought his hands under his lovers top and started to tickle his tummy.

"He-hehe, f-fucking s-sstop ahaha t-that!" Kanda struggled to say, in-between laughs.

On the other side of the room Cross was sitting down on the floor, having a full on conversation with a chair. "You wanna fuck, cus I do, sofa over there was being a bitch to me." obviously the object didn't reply so he continued. "Ya know, I prefer those that don't talk, your pretty sexy yourself."

In the middle of the room Lavi still had Tykki pinned to the floor. "Hey I know, let's compare our penis sizes to Yu-Chanss! Mine is like, a metre longer than his!"

"Oooh! That sounds like fun!" Tykki agreed. Lavi let Tykki stand up before unzipping the front of his trousers.

"Where's the ruler! The rulerrrr!" Lavi began crawling on the floor to look for the thing. "aaawwww! I can't find it!" Tykki lost his balance as he felt a little dizzy and fell forward. And yep Lavi was dick slapped in the process.

Allen and Kanda began to make out again, kanda slapping his ass "Hit me morrrree!" Allen begged, Cross began shouting "THIS IS SPARTA!" while running around the room, flailing his arms like spaghetti.

Lavi began belly dancing on top of the table as if he were in some strip club, flinging his clothes off like confetti until he was only left in his boxers. Tykki was watching Lavi dance on the table, "Hey Tykki baybeh! Come and join me!" The two began dancing erotically on the table.

This escapade of chaos lasted a while throughout the night until the five managed to pass out about two in the morning.

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**Hehe, well that escalated quickly~030~ tell me what you think! Thank-you for the people who are currently following my story! **

**Thank you for the reviews, I love you guys !^.^!**


	6. Chapter 6 potions

Here's another chappy! enjoy!^3^!

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There was darkness, a booming headache. Eyelids slowly squinting open to reveal a blurred vision. "Urrgh" Allen groaned.

_Oh god, I feel terrible, what the hell happened last night? _he thought, awaking slowly from sleep. His headache boomed like a base drum right at the back of his head making him feel dizzy and light-headed.

_Ouch this is hurting like hell, I think I'll go get a drink of cold water maybe that'll help._

He slowly tried sitting up, only for something to weigh him down in place.

"Eh?"

He noticed two strong arms possessively wrapped firmly around his waist. Allen was slightly confused and looked slowly behind his shoulder, then it hit him like a tone of bricks. Memories from last night flew straight through his brain.

Kanda was lying next to him, hair in a mess spread out onto the hard floor surface. Subconsciously holding Allen close like a much loved teddy bear.

Allen gazed wondrously at the samurai, taking in the view of the sexy figure next to him.

He smiled warm heartedly as this was the only time Kanda ever had a genuine calm, peaceful expression.

He tried not to giggle as he noticed he also slept in a cute foetal position. _I really do love you so much._

"Moyashi, don't watch me sleep" Kanda grumbled under his breath, completely startling Allen.

"W-whaa, I thought you were asleep?" Allen cleared his throat.

He slowly opened his eyes, "Well, I was" kanda deadpanned. "Fuck my head hurts" he slowly sat up, whilst rubbing his eyes with one hand.

"Yeah, mine too" Allen yawned, only to stop. "I can remember some things about last night, but not everything."

"What do you mean?" Kanda asked rubbing his left temple.

"Like, I don't remember us taking our tops or trousers off ?" Allen questioned, now very wide awake. Kanda focused his eyes on Allen and yes, he noticed he was completely topless and trouserless. He gazed down at himself and he too wasn't wearing his clothes.

Kanda stopped and stared for a moment.

"Moyashi, why the fuck are you wearing my boxers?"

"I'm WHAT?!" Allen looked down at himself. They were black boxers about two sizes to big, yep they definitely weren't his.

"How the hell?" Allen questioned raising an eyebrow in total confusion.

The two looked down at the boxers Kanda was wearing.

Allen couldn't hold in the laughter, "Bwa. -mmff" he cupped his mouth with his hand to try and suppress it.

Kanda was wearing Allen's grey boxers, they were two sizes to small, they were super tight and were giving him a very evident weggie.

"What the fuck did we do last night?" Kanda questioned holding a dumbfounded expression.

"I have no Idea…well uh, I remember tickling you"

"Heh, and I remember you begging for your ass to be slapped" Kanda grinned.

"W-what, I did not!" Allen argued. "hmm, then all I can remember is that we ended up sleeping together….I mean! not in that kind of way!" Allen choked.

"You never know, we were pretty drunk" Kanda side smirked.

"Bakanda!" Allen blushed.

"Oi Moyashi, you forgot something" Kanda enquired, upholding a grin.

"Oh yeah?, I forgot a lot of things" Allen scratched his head, trying to remember events of the night before.

"Where's my morning kiss?"

"Eh?" Allen blinked twice.

"Heh, you heard me" he grinned leaning into Allen's magnetic warmth.

"Ne Bakanda, I didn't know you were the kissing and cuddling type" Allen smirked, whilst poking him on the shoulder.

"hn, well you do now" with that he leaned in slowly and claimed Allen's lips with his own, after a few seconds the two then gently pulled away, Allen looking slightly dazed.

"Hey, where the fuck are the others?" Kanda questioned, realising that they obviously shouldn't be the only two in the room.

"Um" Allen turned his head scanning the room for other beings. "I'm not sure."

He turned his gaze toward the kitchen door, only for his face to cringe in absolute mortification. Kanda also turned his face.

The two had no words "…."

Cross came barging in through the door like he owned the place wearing absolutely nothing…..

"AAAHHHHhhhhhhhhh! YEAH BABEH!, best fucking sleep I've ever had!" Cross projected whilst yawning and stretching his arms at the same time, then cricking his back in place.

"Sweet Jesus…WILL YOU PUT SOME CLOTHES ON?!" Allen shouted.

Cross looked down at himself.

"Oh, so that's why it was getting unusually breezy down there."

"…" Allen double face palmed, as a single could just not express the fail.

"Looks like some crazy shit happened last night" Cross yawned, whilst looking around the very messy room only for his gaze to stop on the blue haired teen.

"HA-HA, those briefs compliment your figure perfectly" Cross bellowed.

Kanda gave off a glare, sending waves of impending doom toward the general, "You fucking asshole, these aren't fucking briefs"

"You should take'em off, your twelve incher looks like it's gonna shoot outta' there" Cross grinned.

"Do. You. want. To. Die." Kanda gritted his teeth.

"Oh-ho, let it be wild and free babeh!" Cross emphasized, whilst demonstrating his own appendage's freedom with a few thrusts.

"OMG Shishou…Put. Something .On" Allen rubbed his temples viciously.

"What's your problem, we're all men here~" Cross stated, still in the doorway butt naked.

"That's besides the point!" Allen argued.

"It's not like my fucking dick is gonna somehow poke you in the eye, so stop complaining"

"Again! Besides the point!" Allen ran his hands through his hair in complete frustration. "Well if you keep w-wiggling it around like that it probably damn well could!"

"Then what? Your gonna go to the nurse and say, _Cross poked me in the eye with his dick? _Heh, won't that look brilliant on your medical record."

"ASDFGHJKL..YOU ARE PURE EVIL!" Allen shouted, whilst grabbing a nearby cushion and flinging it at Cross. "At least cover your d-d….sausage"

The two lifted an eyebrow.

"With THAT!"

"ALRIGHT" Cross agreed, catching the cushion and placing it over his "area."

The three paused for a brief moment.

"Where the fuck are the other two?" Cross questioned, lazily scratching the back of his head.

The three stopped.

"Say, I haven't seen them?" Allen thought aloud, looking around the room again with his eyes. "Shishou, you were in the kitchen right?"

"Yeah, I woke up on the floor, holding a chair in one hand and a microwave in the other, and they weren't there."

"Um..ok then."

Allen's eyes widened. "Do you think they got out somehow?!"

The three dramatically turned to face each other.

"If those fuckers managed to get out without telling us, I swear I'll-" Cross was cut off.

"_Fuck me so hard! Aahhhhhhh Yyyyyeeaaaahhhhhh Just like That!"_

"…." The three turned their heads in complete unison toward the sound, all eyes wide.

"T-that sounded exactly like La-" Allen was interrupted.

"_Babbeehhhh! Aaahhhh, fuck your tighttttnnnnyyyAAAHHH!"_

Both Allen and Kanda looked at each other, bearing very horrified, disturbed faces.

"What the actual fuck-" Kanda gaped in disgust, only to be interrupted as well.

"_The lube! The luaahhhhh-Aaahh"_

"Wohoah! I wanna get in on the action!" Cross intervened.

"Are they…...omg!" Allen's eyes widened, basketball size.

The three stood up. "Sounds like it's coming from the cupboard over there" Cross half whispered.

"EWEWEW! WHAT IF THEY ARE DOING IT?!" Allen screeched.

"Nothin' better than watching buttsex!" Cross declared.

"OH HELL NO AM I WATCHING SHIT LIKE THAT?!" kanda spat, rather horrified.

"_Aaahh yessss, motherofgodAAHHHYYEAAAHH_!"

"Shishou, Do. Not. open that cupboard door!" Allen ordered, trying to ignore the moans.

Cross walked over toward the cupboard door regardless of his apprentice's warning and wrapped his hand over the knob. Allen and Kanda sprinted like idiots in an attempt to stop him.

They were too late.

The doors were flung open, Allen had his eyes shut, Kanda lifted an eyebrow and Cross gave a disappointed sigh.

"pppffftt…BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Lavi and Tykki began laughing hysterically.

"Oi, ya little fuckers, I thought you were going at it like rabbits?" Cross questioned.

"Haha, boy did we fool you!" Lavi said in-between laughs. "Your faces were PRICELESS!"

"So you weren't doing it, THANK JESUS…" Allen let out a very relieved sigh.

Upon all the commotion, Cross got tired of holding up the cushion and let it drop to the floor.

"WOHOAH! WHAT IS THAT?! Lavi choked.

"My dick dipshit" Cross sighed, completely indifferently.

The four just sweat dropped.

"BURN IT WITH FIRE!" Lavi shouted, "Cover it up, it's burning my eyes!"

"Oi, Noah pass me the thong" Cross demanded.

The four dramatically spun their heads toward the general with a questionable look.

"You can't have my thong!?" Tykki stated.

"Either, you fuckers find my knickers or I'll whip the thong from the Noah" Cross declared

"Hehe, you said knickers" Lavi giggled.

"They are knickers"

"Eh?"

The four gave him extremely estranged looks, all raising an eyebrow.

"You have some weird….. girls underwear fetish" Lavi announced.

"So, how do we find these said knickers?" Tykki asked.

"We have to try and remember what happened last night" Allen suggested. The five began to think in deep thought. All of them couldn't remember anything at all.

Lavi thought hard, until he finally thought of something, "Aha! Wait here!" with that, he sprinted over to Bookman's desk. He was looking for something through the drawers, tossing papers and objects onto the floor. "Where are they? Hmmm?" he reached the bottom drawer and finally found what he was looking for. "Aha! Here they are" he pulled the drawer out and placed it on the desk.

"Hey Lavi, what are those?" Allen asked, looking at the multiple jars and bottles.

"Ho-ho, these are some experiments komui was working on" Lavi said while reading the labels on some of the caskets.

"Speaking of that fucking creep, how come no-one has noticed we're gone yet?" Kanda questioned.

"Surely they would have noticed by now?!" Allen complained.

"Yeah, something' is definitely up" Cross agreed.

"I can't find anything like this" Lavi tipped over the drawer on the desk, emptying it of it's contents. "Alright, all of you pick up a bottle, and if you have one with a label saying "_Memory regenerate_" give it to me" Lavi ordered.

"Why, do you have these experiments?" Tykki questioned.

"Oh, he ran out of room in his cupboard and put em' here" Lavi added.

They all reached out and picked up a casket. "Alright guys, what do they say?" Lavi asked.

Cross squinted his eyes at the tiny writing on the label. "It say's "_vanishing Liquid_"

"Uh, mine says "_Amplified Aphrodisiac_?" Lavi raised an eyebrow. "Whohoa! I'm keeping this!"

"The label on mine says "_Neko_" Tykki claimed.

"This one says "_Dreams_" Kanda added.

"And mine says "_Memory regenerate_" Allen read, whilst handing it over to the rabbit. "So, uh what does it do?"

"Well, it's suppose to bring back your memory I guess" Lavi answered.

"You seem unsure" Allen commented.

"Hehe well, Komui's experiments don't always go the way ya want them to" Lavi laughed nervously.

The four gave him uncertain glares.

"Read the fucking info label on the back so we know what we'll be drinking" Kanda ordered.

"Ah, let's see" Lavi began:

_If you have ever blacked out? Hangover? Brainwashed?_

_Then this is the perfect potion for you!_

_Drink some of this and you'll remember everything!_

_Warning: Contains harsh chemicals_

_Do not let It get into the eyes._

_May do something unrelated to what it's suppose to do,_

_Treatment: If it goes wrong…..your screwed_

"Well, that doesn't seem to bad!" Lavi giggled. "Alright! I'll go first!"

"Lavi! What if something happens to you?" Tykki intervened wearing a concerned expression.

"Well, I guess there'll be another potion in the drawer to cure me" with that, Lavi opened the top and took a small sip.

The four watched intently at the rabbit. "So, uh how do you feel?" Allen asked nervously.

"Nothing yet…wait, I feel something, hold it"

"What is it you feel?" Tykki questioned worriedly.

"Ooh, my head and stomach feel tingly" Lavi began.

"Now how do you feel Usagi?" Kanda asked.

Lavi smirked….."I think it worked, I remember everything, but only what I saw. If you guys wanna know what you did, you have to drink some as well."

"So tell us what you saw!" Allen exclaimed.

"Ok, I was dancing on the table with Tykki then after that I….wow"

"Eh? What is it?"

"Saw Cross….you were grinding that chair up the frikin' wall! Wow you know how to work it!"

"Heh, years of squat thrusts babeh"

"After seeing you do that, I then turned to the side….NOSEBLEED….Yu-Chan! You smexy minx! You were stripping Allen-Kun of his innocence! Hehe you were pining him into the floor like a sex demon, whahoa! And that hair flip you did was hot!"

"Usagi?!" Kanda interrupted slightly aggravated. Allen scratched the back of his head, bearing a cute little pink tint on his cheeks. "Were we wearing clothes by any chance?" Allen cleared his throat.

"Yeah, you still had clothes on though" Lavi scratched his head.

"So we didn't actually "Do it" then?" Allen asked completely embarrassed.

"Well, not in my memories you didn't" Lavi grinned. "So after that I went toward….Cross?"

"Well spit it out" Kanda declared.

"I went up to Cross and asked him for the knickers because they were pretty, he wouldn't give them to me, so I pulled them off…"

"So you're the bitch who ran away with my fucking knickers?" Cross questioned.

"Hehe….Wwhhaaa? And then I put them on?" Lavi questioned his memories.

"Well, so now you know where the fucking knickers are….On Lavi's ass" Kanda emphasized.

Lavi tried to jolt out the way as Cross lunged forward to claim his beloved knickers, but Lavi had bumped into the drawer, sending the bottle straight onto the floor with a SMASH! They all stared at the bottles on the floor. All the contents landing on all of them.

"Fuck, what the hell are these potions! They're all over me" Cross gaped.

"Oh no! what are they going to do to us?!" Allen shrieked.

"You got it in my fucking hair! I'm covered in this shit" Kanda gritted his teeth, more than pissed.

"Well, depends which ones landed on each of you…." Lavi gulped.

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**DUN DUN DUNNNN! CLIFFHANGER...~030~ Well, there it is! hope you liked it:)**

**Please review if you want to, no biggie if not! ^.^**


	7. Chapter 7 effects

**Here's another chapter! I love you guys! thank you for your lovely review's!**

**Hope it's ok! it was hard to make this chapter and I hope I didn't screw it up T-T onto the story~ hope you enjoy:3**

* * *

The four gave the rabbit impending glares of very painful death. "Hehe…..ah shit" Lavi gulped.

"Oi, what the fuck is going to happen to all of us?" Cross declared.

"Guys don't panic, maybe if we find the label on a piece of glass next to us, then we'll have some idea on what stuff is on us" Allen suggested in a mild panic, flailing his arms in the air.

"Oh, by the way….if more than one bottle crashed near you, you may have the effects of both the potions…." Lavi stated nervously.

"Your fucking dead meat" Kanda spat.

"Also, whatever is says on the bottle may actually have different effects to what it actually says it does…" Lavi cleared his throat. "We'll just have to wait and see.."

Lavi had noticed a bottle had crashed next to his bare feet…. "Shit, I got some on me as well!"

The five stood there staring intently at each other, gulping and sweating…waiting for the first person to have an affect from one of Komui's menacing potions.

Allen had broken the silence, "Arrrgh! Shishou! your still wearing no clothe….." Allen suddenly stopped.

"What is it shitbrain?"

"…..Shishou…emm..look down" He gulped, whilst scratching the back of his head.

The three raised an eyebrow at Allen before turning cautiously toward the general…They just stared…stared…stared and stared.

"Ooh, that's a bummer….." Tykki indicated.

"Heh…" Kanda smirked.

"Well shit…nuff said" Lavi blinked twice.

The Fierce red head looked down as instructed.

His eyes widened to the size of the frikin' moon….."WHERE THE HELL IS MY DICK?!" he screamed. "I CAN'T FUCKING SEE IT!"

"Whoaho! Shit! Ma man!, I think you got a bit of the vanishing liquid on it" Lavi intervened while scratching his head nervously. "That's what ya get for walkin' around in the birthday suit, hehe I'm sure it'll come back soon!"

"You fucking stole my fucking knickers asshole"

"Well, I guess it's not such a bad thing!" Lavi bounced.

"I fucking need it back as I actually fucking use this thing to the fucking fullest, now I'm fucking pissed, why the fucking dick…WHY?!" Cross emphasized dramatically, while putting his hand to his head.

"Hehe, that's a whole lot of fucking" Lavi giggled

"Not that you'll benefit much from that now" Kanda smirked.

"Hey, look! I found your dingily bit! It's on your ass!" Lavi exclaimed, widening his eyes at his discovery.

They all turned toward Lavi questionably before turning toward Cross in perfect unison.

They all stared "Baka! That's not a fucking dick that's a…..tail?" Kanda pointed out.

Cross turned his head to observe the fluffy red tail behind him. "What the actual fuck?!"

"Shishou! It looks like you got some Neko substance on you as well?" Allen butted in.

But before the five could keep talking, Cross grew two fluffy red ears on the top of his head. And all that came out of his mouth was "Nnnnyyyyaaaaa!"

"Great, Cross has turned into a dickless neko, what the hell is gonna happen to us?" Kanda intervened rather pist.

"KKKyyyaaa! Cross! Your so cute! OMG kawaii!" Lavi fangirled enthusiastically.

"Are you shitting me nnyya?!" The four went up toward him, crouching down, "AAaaawwwww!" They said in sync, obviously apart from Kanda who just gave out an aggravated sigh.

"Hey! Lemmi alone nyyyaaa, don't touch me bitches!"

Tykki started stroking the soft place behind the ear and Cross started purring, whilst snuggling into the warmth of the hand.

"Nyyaa Stop that you assholes nyyaaa~ actually that's quite nice" Cross complied.

"Your sho cyyute, aww yesh you are!~" Lavi began stroking his other ear.

"Lavi, that's fucking weird" Kanda stated.

"Imma gonnyyya kill you and Komui for thisnnnyyyyaaaa~" Cross tried to say in-between purrs.

Amongst all the commotion, Allen was starting to feel a little strange. He squinted his eyes as they were slightly out of focus. _Ugh, I feel weird. _He lifted one hand to his head and the other onto Bookman's desk to support himself as he felt mildly dizzy.

Meanwhile Cross pounced out of their grasp and hopped onto the sofa, he began licking his paws and began wiping the back of his ear. "Keep your fucking dirty hands of meehh nnyyaa!"

"Fuck, now that's happened, god knows what's gonna happen to us!" Lavi said rather excitedly.

"You seem to be fucking enjoying this situation" Kanda deadpanned.

"I haven't had this much excitement all week!" Lavi giggled.

"You call this fucking excitement?" Kanda questioned. He gave out an pissed off sign before looking over Lavi's shoulder, only for something to catch his gaze up completely.

Lavi looked at Kanda's enstranged expression. "Ne Yu-Chan, Yu-Chaaan~" He flailed his hand over The samurai's face to catch his attention. "Helloooo...What is it? Tell me~"

Kanda just continued to stare, lifting both eyebrows in a rather "The Fuck" expression.

Lavi pouted as he was ignored, so he turned his head toward the Bluenette's direction, "What the hell are you gawking at-" he stopped and just gaped, his jaw nearly reaching the floor. The two froze…

Allen was sitting on Bookman's desk, letting his legs hang over the edge in which were both crossed, swishing his hair back erotically like a seductive woman, before biting his bottom lip suggestively and then winking at the two.

Allen was flirting with him?

"Ne Bakanda, I feel a unusually sexy" Allen bit his lip.

"Moyashi?" Kanda asked with a rather confused expression. "You feel sexy?"

"Yeah, I do" Allen put his finger to his mouth seductively. He then approached his lover and wrapped his arms around his neck and began kissing him all around.

Lavi rubbed his eyes quickly before looking back to see if what he saw was real.

"Whahoa SE-XY" Lavi gulped, not believing his eyes.

Kanda gulped, Hot damn. Moyashi was irresistible, fuck he would take him right here right now. His flushed cheeks, his sexy half closed eyes, his slightly parted mouth which was just screaming to be claimed. He was begging to be fucked.

"Bakandaaa, I really need you" Allen half whispered suggestively, breaking his kissing session.

He groaned inwardly. _Fuck _"Moyashi, fucking snap out of it" Kanda spat, trying to control his desperate urges, he also tried to keep a straight face.

"But for some reason I wanna fuck you so bad~" Allen groaned, almost desperately.

"F-fucking hell, your definitely not acting like yourself" Kanda gaped before clearing his throat, he then turned to face Lavi upholding a stern death glare.

"What shit landed on Moyashi?" Kanda asked Lavi, whilst keeping an eye on the advancing bean sprout.

"Hehe, well from the way he's acting, it must have been that amplified stuff~ umm, aphrodisiac?" Lavi scratched his head.

"Aphrodisiac shouldn't change his fucking character?" Kanda stated angrily.

"Well, it's amplified, so he's horny as fuck, all his sexual desires toward you have intensified, so all he want's to do fuck your brains out basically, not sure about his character though. That could have been the dreams potion" Lavi thought aloud. "Told ya they could have had different effects to what they're suppose to do"

"So what the fuck should I do?" Kanda spat dangerously, while backing slowly toward the wall with Allen latched onto him.

"Ooh, he's like a sex demon!" Lavi wolf whistled. "Work it baby work it!"

"Usagi you asshole, do something" Kanda gritted his teeth.

"Bakanda, your so hot baby~" Allen moaned.

"Lavi! Get your ass over here and do something" Kanda demanded.

"Pound into me babe! I wanna feel you~" Allen groaned.

"Jesus…" Kanda swallowed thickly.

Lavi started laughing hysterically at Kanda's reaction to Allen's out of character advances. Only for Lavi to hold his breath as someone breathed hot air onto his ear before speaking.

"Mmm, you smell so good baby~"

"…." Lavi turned expecting to see someone there, but to his surprise he couldn't see anyone. The hot low voice began again.

"Boy, do you turn me on~"

"W-who's there?" Lavi looked around, still seeing no-one. "Hey you sound just like Tykki"

Something nipped Lavi's earlobe, "it is me sexy" Tykki replied.

"I-it is you?! I'm guessing you got the vanishing liquid all over you then cus I can't see ya?"

"Hn, that's right, but something else landed on me as well" Tykki chuckled, before kissing down the future Bookman's neck.

Lavi gulped. "I can tell..Aha…..same stuff as Allen?"

"How do you know?"

"Well, it's not like you're seducing me or anything~" Lavi pointed out sarcastically.

Meanwhile Allen pounced forcefully onto Kanda, bringing him to the floor.

"Moyashi!" Kanda spat, while laying on his front with Allen sitting on his back.

"Ooh Bakanda, your sooooo tense~" Allen indicated, making big circular motions on the bluenette's shoulders whilst grinding himself on top of the other, letting out smexy moans as he did so.

In the meantime Tykki slid one hand into Lavi's top. "Whoahoa! Hold it hold it whatcha' think you're doing?" Lavi squirmed under the touch.

"I need you right now baby" Tykki half whispered.

Both Lavi and Kanda glanced at each other, they didn't exactly want to be fucked on the spot at this particular moment in front of everyone. Lavi managed to loosen Tykki's grip and dashed toward the cupboard.

Kanda tried to get loose but Allen pinned his lovers hands up. Now the two were facing, Allen was perfectly straddling the other's hips.

"Oh no you don't" Kanda flipped Allen over with one swift motion, so now he was the one topping.

Allen caught his lover off guard as he possessively wrapped his arms around the teen's neck bringing him into a strong heated kiss.

Kanda kissed back with fiery passion as he wanted it so much, only to take this chance to escape Allen's grasp and run toward the cupboard.

Allen got off his back, and watched the retreating Samurai. Now he was pissed. The potion amplified further, both Allen and Tykki wanted nothing but sex. Sex. SEX The two eyed up the struggling bluenette.

Kanda knocked fast and hard at the cupboard door, "Usagi, open the fucking door!"

"No can do Yu-Chan, why do ya wanna come in here anyway?~" Lavi giggled

"There is one very horny Moyashi and an invisible sex beast behind me, don't fucking try my patience."

"Hehe, all ya gotta do is say the magic word!" Lavi teased.

"Just fucking open the fucking door!"

"A-a-a, nope, not until I hear the P word!~" Lavi teased further.

The two sex deprived demons licked their lips before sprinting toward the stubborn teen.

"FINE-_Please, _now open the fucking goddamn door!"

"Sure thing!" Lavi accepted, opening the door quickly. Kanda jumped into the cupboard.

"Shitshitshit! It won't close!" Lavi sputtered, gazing at the lustful hungry look in Allen's eyes. What freaked him out more is the fact they couldn't see the Noah.

"What do you mean it won't fucking close!" Kanda spat, pulling his hands over the knob in attempt to close the door himself, and with a last pull, the two managed to close the door shut.

The two were in complete darkness.

Cross was still sitting on the sofa and had watched the whole thing, _Shit if they spot me they'll hump me to death_. He sneakily and slowly got off of the couch and tiptoed toward the kitchen door and closed the door behind him.

"Phew, I think we're safe in here" Lavi assured, while adjusting himself.

Kanda sat against the cupboard wall opposite from Lavi and crossed his arms. "Che"

"Come on Yu-Chan! don't give me the silent treatment"

"There's nothing to talk about" Kanda replied.

"Allen sure turned you on" Lavi grinned mischievously.

"….." A vain popped at the side of Kanda's head before he glared into the darkness toward Lavi's voice.

"Hehe! My Bookman's eye sees all!" Lavi giggled.

Kanda shifted uncomfortably as he was bearing a very visible boner, it was especially obvious through those tiny boxers. "So what.."

"But what stopped you from jumping him? Cus boy was I turned on just by looking at him" Lavi admitted.

"He wasn't in his fucking right mind and I would only do it when he would say he's ready, without the help of Komui's satanic potions" Kanda spat turning his head to the side.

"Awww! Yu-Chan your so cute, you were being considerate!" Lavi giggled.

"Shut up dipshit" Kanda threatened. "Anyway what do you feel toward that Noah?"

"Oh Tykki, well I er…." Lavi stuttered.

"Well what?"

"I….like him" Lavi cleared his throat.

"I thought you liked Lenalee?" Kanda questioned as he raised an eyebrow.

"I do but..arrghh I don't know! I think I like both of them?"

"Both of them?"

"Anyway, I don't wanna talk about it" Lavi smiled. "OOH!ASDFGHJKL"

"What?!" Kanda asked rather annoyed that Lavi's sudden outburst made him jump a little.

"Something touched my ass?!" Lavi half whispered.

"You little shit, there's only the two of us in here" Kanda stated in a matter of factly tone.

"No, something pinched my ass! I'm almost certain!"

"Your imagining things" Kanda indicated.

"Did you feel my ass?!" Lavi lifted an eyebrow.

"What? I'm not some fucking pervert like you" Kanda spat.

"Ooahhaha, something stroked my leg!" Lavi shrieked.

Kanda thought it could be some kind of joke Lavi was putting on, but then again maybe not. "Oi Lavi, if it touches you again, reach out for it. It could be a snake or something."

"Wwwhaaa? A snake?! What the hell would that be doing in here? And your calm about it?!"

Kanda rolled his eyes, "Or is this some fucking joke?"

"No! I swear I felt something! Honest!" Lavi stared into the darkness, he could barely see much. _Alright, if it touches me again I'll grab it like a boss~_

The thing brushed against Lavi's thigh making him yelp. "Y-yu-Chan, it's on my leg" Lavi whispered.

"Well grab it then" Kanda deadpanned, with his eyes closed.

Lavi reached out hesitantly before yanking whatever was invading his leg space.

"FUCK!" Kanda screeched, "That hurt like a bitch!"

"EEHH?"

The two were totally confused and had no idea on what just happened at all. "Ne Yu-Chan, I'll pick up whatever it was again and I'll try to figure out what it is" Lavi suggested. Lavi cautiously tried to find it by feeling around. "Aha! Found it!" instead of yanking it he held it.

"Yu-Chan, do ya feel this" with that he squeezed it a little"

"What the fuck? I can feel you squeezing it" Kanda shifted uncomfortably.

"Uh Yu-Chan, so you say it's part of you and it's long" Lavi pondered a bit. "Holy Shit Yu, I know they said you had a large dick but this is ridiculous! Your over there and I'm over here, it must be a metre long!" Lavi choked. "No wander you asked Cross for a metre stick!"

"What?! It's not my fucking dick you stupid shit" Kanda argued.

"It's fluffy" Lavi stated whilst analysing the thing in his hand. "Aha! Yu-Chan, it's a tail!"

"Oh fuck no"

"Hehe fuck yes" Lavi giggled "Hey do ya have cute little ears as well?"

Kanda reached up to touch the top of his head and yes, identical fluffy ears were upon his head.

"Fuck, so I've been affected, what about you?" Kanda asked rather pissed off.

"Well, I don't feel any different" Lavi replied.

"Lucky shit"

"Heh, I know right" Lavi wriggled his eyebrows.

"OOh! That reminds me! The cures are in the kitchen in the spices cupboard!" Lavi bounced.

"The fuck, and now you remember that shit?!"

"Thing is, how are we gonna get to the kitchen with two very horny sex gods out there?" Lavi asked, raising his hand up in a thinking stance.

"How about we make a run for it" Kanda smirked.

"Well, there's nothing much else we can do, alright! Let's do this thing!" Lavi rubbed his hands together.

_At that precise moment Lavi began to feel a little weird._

* * *

**I'm sorry if it was crappy, ah well:3 I might not update very regularly as I have exams this week and the next, **

**But I won't let that stop me! R&R if ya want!:D**


	8. Chapter 8 situation

**Here's another Chappy:3 Hope you enjoy~**

* * *

The two in the dark brown cupboard were getting ready to make a run for it. Lavi swivelled onto his knees and bent down to peer closely through the tiny key hole, only a reminiscence of light reflected through to pierce his bright green all seeing eye. He squinted his eye to get better focus and began to scan what he could see of the room. "Hey Yu, I can't see them" Lavi whispered into the darkness.

Kanda grunted before getting onto his knees and shoving the rabbit to the side so he could also see and squinted one eye to gaze upon the other side of the door. "Hey! I wanna see too!" Lavi half whispered, struggling for the key hole.

Kanda observed what he could see of the room, the table in the middle and the kitchen door dead ahead, all the rest was blurred as the keyhole was just so miniscule. Lavi was right, there was no sign of them whatsoever. "Where the fuck are they?" Kanda gritted his teeth in annoyance.

"Hehe sex predators waitin' in the shadows for us to make the first move" Lavi giggled.

"Che, so what's the plan?" Kanda uttered.

"Hehe, well think of them as fan girls" Lavi chuckled. "And how do you escape fan girls?"

"Slice them up with Mugen"

"Noooo whatever ya do, don't do that!"

"What then?"

"Well, two options!" Lavi announced.

"Well what the fuck are they?"

"One, run for your life. Or two, sacrifice your friend whilst you run for your life!" Lavi contemplated.

"What? Well you're the sacrifice" Kanda sadistically smirked.

"Hehe you won't do it cus' you're a scaredy cat huh? literally" Lavi giggled.

A vein popped at the side of Kanda's forehead, "one, I am not fucking scared of anything-"

"You're hiding in a cupboard" Lavi laughed.

Kanda glared. "And two-"

"Then what? You're gonna deny the fact your part kitty" Lavi mocked playfully.

"Your such a bitch" Kanda flicked his hair back before crossing his arms.

"You crack me up sometimes Yu-Chan!" Lavi laughed, whilst patting said Samurai's back.

"Don't fucking touch me"

Lavi laughed some more. "Alright, I've come up with a plan!" he crossed his legs before starting. "Ok, since all they want is sex, they'll want something irresistibly fuckable" Lavi scratched his head. "Although I am the definition of smexy, I think you'll be better bait"

"Fuck no" Kanda stated. "Why the fuck do we need one of us to be bait anyway?"

"Well, someone has to open the kitchen door while the other distracts the other two" Lavi concluded. "Urgh, we better hurry up cus' I don't feel so good" Lavi chuckled weakly, "or do you want me to throw up on you"

"Don't you fucking dare throw up on me" Kanda warned.

"Ok, so hear me out" Lavi rubbed his hands together. "Right, you go out there first and strut your stuff"

"The fuck?"

"Hehe, make yourself look utterly delicious out there, just engage in sexy talk as you won't need much to distract em' cus the cat ears and tail will do most of it for ya!" Lavi grinned. "Then whilst your on the right side of the room distracting em' I'll make a dash for the door and open it"

"Then what?" Kanda asked, totally not lovin' the plan.

"When you see me open the door, make a dash for it if you haven't been fucked already" Lavi cleared his throat. "Then the both of us will manage to get to the kitchen and I'll close the door."

"So then what happens?"

"Well, when we're in the kitchen we can get the cures in the spices cupboard" Lavi exclaimed. "It's full proof!"

Kanda thought for a while, well seems legit. "Fine, lets do this" Kanda murmured.

"Yes! Now we're talkin'" Lavi rubbed his hands together, totally pumped to set their escape plan to work.

Lavi peered again through the pinnacle of a keyhole. He saw the table and just behind it, their only exit. There was still no sign of the other two at all, the silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife. "It's awfully quiet out there" Lavi whispered. "Ooh, it's giving me shivers!"

"why are they so fucking quiet?" Kanda half whispered, battling with Lavi to share the keyhole.

"Dunno, so are ya ready?" Lavi half whispered.

"Che"

"I'll take that as a yes" Lavi chuckled. "Remember, look as irresistible as possible!"

Kanda gave him a stern glare, "let's get this shit over with"

"Sure thing" Lavi grinned. Lavi slowly raised his hand toward the door lock, biting his bottom lip in the process. Kanda kept his gaze through the tiny keyhole, still nothing. He motioned for the rabbit to continue with turning the lock.

Lavi gripped tightly onto the bronze latch, turning it slowly trying to make the least noise possible. He was making good progress until a loud cluck was heard, Kanda twitched his eyebrow in annoyance. Lavi tensed. They expected to see at least one of them appear beyond the keyhole. But nothing happened, neither of the "demons" could be seen or heard.

Lavi let out a sigh of relief, the lock had been opened. He gave the Bluenette a nod to say the coast is clear and very slowly opened the one cupboard door, taking caution to not make noise as the old hinges were rusty and creaky. The door was halfway open, enough for the older teen to get through.

Kanda cautiously stuck one leg out of the cupboard, then two legs.

He was now standing outside the cupboard. His blue ears and tail were clearly visible now. Lavi seriously tried to contain his laughter.

The Samurai looked around the room and saw no one. He followed the plan and walked toward the right side of the room, but as he did so, he felt two pairs of eyes on his back. He turned around to see Allen leaning in front of the table bearing a devilishly sexy smirk.

But where was the Noah?

He quickly scanned the room, still partially keeping a eye on the bean sprout. He raised a eyebrow as he recognised the similar physique behind the whitette, hiding behind the table looking rather flustered. Tykki was no longer invisible.

The Noah raised his finger to his lips, motioning as if to say _Don't give away the fact I'm hiding here._

_So.. The Noah's effects have worn off, well that was quick _Kanda though. Returning his gaze back up to the love struck bean.

Lavi watched the whole scene behind the cupboard door and turned to Tykki who was looking rather bored at the fact he was stuck there behind the table. The rabbit gazed at him for a while as the Noah sighed before pulling his hair back with one hand.

_Ooh! he's really hot _Lavi though dreamily. _Hehe, now's my chance to save him from the wrath of Moyashi! Oh yeah and Yu too!_

As Allen was advancing the older teen, completely passing by the cupboard. Lavi took this opportunity to tiptoe slowly behind Allen and crouched down behind the table taking a seat next to the enemy.

"Psstt…Tykki, follow me" Lavi whispered as quietly as possible.

The Noah was a little startled, but gave an understanding nod. The two got up and began sneakily tiptoeing behind the whitette.

Kanda could see Lavi and the Noah behind the Moyashi and gave them a subtle glare at the fact they were moving at snails pace and sniggering at his new cat features.

"Bakanda babe, you're a naughty boy for running" Allen smirked.

"Oh am I know" Kanda replied quickly, turning his attention back to the teen in front of him. _Well at least he's actually making conversation, the potion must be wearing off slowly._

"What was that look you just gave?" Allen raised an eyebrow.

"What look?" Kanda questioned.

"Almost like you were signalling to someone behind me" Allen squinted his eyes.

The two froze dead in their tracks, the two held their breath.

"What makes you say that?" Kanda continued, trying to keep conversation and keep the bean sprout from looking behind.

He spotted Lavi mouthing the words _distract them, strut your stuff!_

"Just a hunch, oh baby those ears and tail are kinky!" Allen bit his bottom lip.

_Strut my stuff…Lavi I'm going to kill you for fucking suggesting this…._Kanda leaned against the wall and did a very sexy hair flip before crossing his arms. "Moyashi"

"What is it" Allen grinned.

"You wanna go at it that bad?" Kanda smirked. "I think I'm up for it now"

"You are?" Allen smirked, slightly surprised.

"Oh yeah, thing is are _you_ ready? I may be a little rough" .

Tykki gaped and raised an eyebrow at the samurai as he wasn't sure what was happening.

Lavi grinned and took this opportunity to grab Tykki's arm and the two paced toward the door stealthily as Allen was now fully distracted.

"Ooh, how rough are we talking" Allen chuckled while lust burned up in his eyes.

"So fucking rough it'll look like a hurricane swept through the room " Kanda smirked inwardly.

Tykki and Lavi had reached the door and the rabbit flung it open with one swift motion. Kanda got a glimpse at the ajar door, all he had to do was run.

Kanda sprinted as fast as he could with the other two but a flash of white smashed the door closed with a large THUD making the three crash into the hard wooden door. The three were on the floor facing the very pissed off bean sprout.

Allen had activated his Crown Clown, white strands from his pure white cloak pressed the door shut. His head was down, white bangs covered his face but he still bared that chilling smirk.

"Jajajaja~ where do you think your going?" Allen sang.

Kanda cringed as he just reminded him of Komui, pfft, maybe the guy was actually on this stuff.

Lavi and Tykki gulped in absolute unison. "we were em just…" Lavi stuttered.

"About to run away?" Allen hissed. "he…hehe...huaahaahahahahahaha" he began laughing mechanically. "I don't fucking think so"

The three stared at him, all slightly terrified. "Open the fucking door" Kanda spat.

"No" Allen giggled. "Not until I get what I want"

The three on the floor had no idea what to do, they needed a miracle, they needed…..

BANG! The door was flung open, nearly knocking the three's head off, followed by a booming voice,

"HOLY FUCK! PRAISE THE LORD! HALLELUJAH! MY DICK…HAS RETURNED BABEH! Cross projected nearly bursting everyone's ear drums and partially blowing them away.

"I THINK I'M DEAF" Lavi screeched.

"Thank God" Tykki let out a very much wanted sigh of relief.

"About fucking time" Kanda muttered.

Cross noticed his apprentice before him and the three sprawled on the floor. "So, I see you've calmed down your tits Noah" Cross stated, looking down at the enemy.

"Yeah, the potion wore off on me" Tykki replied.

Cross turned his head to face Allen, "Oi, what the fuck is going on here? Why is Allen still acting like this"

"The potion hasn't worn off yet dipshit" Kanda stated in a matter of factly tone.

Cross turned to the bluenette on the floor, "He-he, loving the new look…ppfftt totally badass" Cross sarcastically mocked.

"Your one to fucking talk" Kanda glared.

"I can't take you seriously, looking so cute an' all" Cross chuckled.

"Where the fuck is Mugen so I can chop off that fucking dick of yours"

"Bitch, touch my dick and your life will end." Cross glared.

"Get out the way so I can fuck him" Allen interrupted gritting his teeth.

"Say what? Who exactly do you wanna fuck?" Cross questioned.

Allen turned and began to smirk toward the blue-haired teen.

Cross turned his head along with the other three, staring the samurai to death. He raised an eyebrow at his apprentice's sudden urge. "Ha-ha brilliant, I'll leave you to it, get down an' punish this bitch"

Kanda gaped at the red head. "You fucking asshole" he spat.

"Ooh, with pleasure" Allen moaned. Lavi and Tykki didn't want to exactly get in the way so the crawled quickly through the kitchen door.

Kanda spotted the sneaky two leaving into the kitchen and took this opportunity to sprint like lightning after them

Cross sighed, "Well, that would have been fun to watch" He leaned on the door's entrance and slowly took out the key in the lock.

"I am going to HUNT HIM DOWN!" Allen shouted angrily.

"Listen up shit apprentice, I'm gonna lock this door and leave you in here until you cool your balls" Cross ordered. Before Allen had time to react, the red head slammed the door shut and turned the key.

The four sighed in relief as they were now safe in the kitchen . "Where the fuck are the damn cures" Kanda questioned demandingly.

Lavi propped his head up, "Oh yeah!" He bounced toward the kitchen cupboard and opened the nearest cupboard door next to the fridge and rummaged through the little bottles of what seemed to be spices. He picked up a few small bottles and put them on top of the counter. "We have to make the cures with these ingredients!"

"What?! So they're not ready made?" Cross shouted.

"Yep, but don't fear cus' I know how to make em. There should also be a recipe in the kitchen somewhere as well." Lavi was feeling sickly again. "First I need to go to the bathroom, I don't feel so good" With that he left round the corner and entered the bathroom.

Tykki sighed and leaned on the counter near the sink, yawning. Kanda stood leaning on the door with his arms crossed attempting to meditate, Cross grabbed a chair and sat on it back to front before breaking the silence that followed Lavi's departure to the bathroom. "You know we can just wait for the potions to wear off" Cross suggested, smirking directly at the Samurai.

"Fuck no, the sooner I get this shit off the better" Kanda replied. "And get some fucking pants on bitch"

"Sure thing, I don't want anything else to happen to my precious wang" He wiped the fake tear.

"Hurry the fuck up, your ruining my eyesight" Kanda scowled. "Cover it up with this" with that Kanda grabbed a tea towel from the rack next to the door on the wall and flung it into the general's face.

"No, this won't do" Cross dodged the tea towel before shooting a satanic grin toward the Noah. Tykki backed away slowly waving his hands in front of himself. "Cross, uh…I um"

"Thong whipping time" Cross cricked his neck. "Alright Noah, hand em' over"

"No"

"I'll use force"

"N-no" Tykki stuttered.

Cross got up and floored the Noah, yes, whipping the thong off in one swift motion. Tykki quickly tried to cover himself using his hands.

"Touch my fucking thong or knickers again, I shall unsheathe my mighty dick and slap you in the face with it"

"Now what am I suppose to wear?!" Tykki argued.

"Speaking of my fucking precious knickers, what's taking eye-patched boy so long." Cross questioned.

The three turned their gaze upon the locked bathroom door.

"Probably just constipated" Kanda spat.

"The constipated look you have on you most of the time must be contagious" Cross intervened.

"The fuck did you say? You have some fucking nerve" Kanda glared.

Meanwhile Tykki walked toward the laundry basket and spotted a pair of dark brown shorts. _Mmm, these must be Lavi's, hope he wont mind. _He slipped them on and turned his head to see the two still arguing over god knows what, then turned his head to the bathroom door. _Better check up on him. _Tykki knocked hard on the wooden door.

No reply.

He noticed the lock on the door was ajar. He turned behind him and saw the other two still arguing, before turning back to the door. "Lavi, are you ok?" Tykki whispered.

Still no reply.

Tykki was concerned, so he gently pushed open the door and walked in, closing the door behind him. It was a rather large room with five cubicles on the left side and two sinks on the right. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw an old man washing his hands under the hot tap. "W-who are you?" Tykki asked.

The old man didn't appear to have heard him and didn't reply. "Hellooooo~" Tykki tried again a little louder.

Still, nothing.

Tykki was about to try again but was interrupted.

"Gigi! Where are we going today!" A little boy rushed out of one of the cubicles toward the old man at the sink.

"Patience, we have a lot of work to do" The old man replied.

"Aww! But I wanna play!" The little boy chirped.

Tykki stared at the boy. That hair, the eye patch…."Lavi?" The old man, "Bookman?" But what on earth was he seeing? An illusion?

But before he knew it, the two disappeared. "What the hell?" He blinked twice. Tykki paced up to one of the wash basins and splashed his face with cold water.

He paused as he heard a voice coming from one of the closed cubicles, "Aw shit"

"Lavi?"

"I can't reach the potty! No fair!"

"Are you ok?" Tykki turned toward the voice.

The lock on the door turned and opened to reveal a child, who looked like the one he saw earlier. His clothes were baggy, his ruffled red hair, his beautiful green eye and that eye patch. The child rubbed his eye with one sleeve as it was long and covered his hand.

"Tykki, the potion turned me into my five year old self!"

"Lavi! You are sooooo adorable!" Tykki exclaimed. He went over to the boy and crouched down and ruffled his hair.

"Hey stop that! I may look like five, but I'm not really a kid." Lavi whined.

"Hey, I saw you and Bookman by the sink but then you disappeared?"

"Eh? Hehe you must be seeing things Tykki" Lavi giggled.

* * *

**OOOhh, what did Tykki actually see~030~ Well, hope it was ok:) I've managed to plan out my shit**

**and all will make sense~:3 review if ya want!^.^!**


	9. Chapter 9 Oh, Lavi

**Hello guys imma back:3 sorry if this took a while, I just got a little held up;_;. Gosh, the fluff in this chapter is killing me*w***

**Please review if you want, don't have to if you don't wanna! Now onto the story!~ Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

In the kitchen, Cross and Kanda were still continuing their argument over everything. Cross remained on the chair, while Kanda sat atop the counter, crossing his arms with his back to the wall. "Oi, quit acting like a bitch. Oh right you are one" Cross deadpanned.

"What was that fucker?" Kanda seethed, twitching his eyebrow before shooting an icy glare toward the drunkard general. "I am going to shove a fucking microwave so far up your punk ass and then we'll see whose the bitch" he threatened, clenching his teeth in annoyance.

"Oh yeah? COME AT MEH BRO"

"With fucking pleasure, your fucking calling me a bitch? I'm not the one pacing around the room wearing a fucking thong"

Meanwhile, Tykki and Lavi were still in the cold spacious bathroom. "Ne Tykki, I have an idea!" Lavi bounced.

"Oh? What is it?" the Noah questioned, Leaning in toward the tiny rabbit.

"I could use this effect to my advantage!" Lavi half whispered evilly. "How about I pretend that I really am my five year old self, both physically and mentally!"

"But why would you want to do that?" Tykki cocked an eyebrow.

"Ho-ho, opportunities like this only hit you once in a while. And this is the perfect way, if done by a pro like me! to piss off Yu-Chan" Lavi bounced. He ran whilst slightly tripping over the now very oversized clothes, getting close as he could to the door, only to be stopped by the smirking Noah.

"A-a-a, nope not yet, go and wash your hands first" the Noah demanded, waving his finger disapprovingly in the air.

"Wwhaaaaa?" Lavi complained.

"Lavi, wash your hands, bathrooms are full of germs"

"I'm not frikin' two years old! " he argued, pulling up his lose bandana from his eyes.

"So there should be no problem then, go wash your hands" Tykki smirked. Lavi looked over to the Eiffel tower of a sink, yep, it was a little higher than usual. He dawdled reluctantly toward the large wash basin and looked up with one eye. He just pouted.

"Well?"

"Hey! Don't look at me like that! It's not my fault I can't reach" Lavi wined, before twiddling his thumbs in an attempt to act natural as he noticed his cheeks were burning up. The red head couldn't even peer over to see the tap, that's how small he really was. "Hehe, well looks like I'm not going to be able to wash em! So there!" he thought he won Tykki over his motherly behaviour so he ran toward the door that was in view around the sharp corner of the room.

But before he knew it, he was lifted up into the air, "Wha! Help, ooh! Ah! put me down! " he reacted, flailing his small arms in the air, kicking his feet in all directions. "who's there!" He couldn't see anything as all the flailing caused his bandana to fall in front of his emerald green eye.

"Haha, don't worry it's just me" Tykki chuckled. Both his strong arms were wrapped warmly around Lavi's small waist. Now Lavi was able to reach the tap with no problems. The red head blushed profusely, he slowly brought his hand to lift the bandana that covered his eyes to unveil the two reflections in the mirror. "Hehe, thanks Tykki" he chuckled.

"No problemo"

The small rabbit managed to turn on the faucet, letting the luke-warm water fall and trickle down. He rolled his long sleeves up and laid his hands under the water before looking back up at the mirror to speak, "you actually quite friendly, em…why is that?"

Tykki lowered his head, slowly resting it onto the crook of Lavi's neck, making the other freeze. "Why is it such a big deal" Tykki side smirked, holding the other tighter at the waist.

"Well, it's not suuuuch a big deal, just curious aha…" he didn't know what to think, Tykki's actions startled him to say the least. _Ooh he's so warm and cuddly as well as frikin' hot, but I can't just waltz up to him and say, heh, ya know what Tykki babeh, I actually quite like ya. Arrghh! But this is such an impossible relationship, both Noah and exorcist. I really do like him a lot, Guh what am I gonna do?_

"Well, you're an enemy…I thought you were suppose to hate my guts" Lavi cleared his throat.

Tykki sighed "You think I hate your guts?" he creased his eyebrow, looking almost offended.

"Well do you?" Lavi enquired, keeping his eyes on his hands under the trickling water to avoid Tykki's gaze through the fogged up mirror. The enemy didn't reply.

The rabbit had finished washing his hands and turned the tap off, and began shaking off the excess water. "Hehe, you can put me down now, it's ok if you don't wanna answer, of course you should hate me. We are enemies after all"

The Noah slowly lifted Lavi down onto the cold floor before crouching down to the other's height, staring into the other's soul with those beautiful magnetic yellow orbs, they were only centimetres away. The redhead gulped at the closeness. "I know I'm a Noah but I can't bring myself to…hate you"

"Whahoa! Ya don't hate me?" Lavi gaped in amazement.

"No, kind of the opposite" Tykki smirked "Although I do hate exorcists, you're an exception"

Lavi stood there sputtering like a goldfish, struggling to say something, "Say w-what? So you like me? HE LIKES ME!" he blinked twice, all blood rushing to his cheeks.

Tykki let out an exasperated sigh before smirking toward the red head. While Lavi was still in a complete daze over the subtle confession, the Noah took this opportunity to go onto all fours and softly plant and warm kiss onto Lavi's cheek, remaining there for a good few seconds before pulling away to see the other's bright red face. Lavi stood there completely startled.

"Heh come on, let's go" Tykki winked, before getting up from the cold floor to look down on the small rabbit in front of him. Lavi snapped out of the daze, "Ne Tykki! Don't leave me hangin'!"

Tykki raised an eyebrow scandalously, "Wait until the potion wears off, if I start making out with you while your in the form of a five year old, I'd feel like a peedo." he cleared his throat. "It would just be weird, get back to normal first, oh yeah babe, _then_ we'll play" Tykki grinned.

"Whohoa! Tykki you sexy beast, so I guess it's more than "like" then?", _Holy. Fuck. Is this really happening! Did that really happen?! Oh my fuck! _

"Definitely more than like"

"Eh?"

"I love you"

Yep, Lavi was as red as a tomato, "Hehe, well same goes for me" he pulled awkwardly at his collar.

"Lavi, your just too cute and I love that about you. Heh and your downright smexy"

"Ho-ho, and don't I know it"

Tykki paced up toward the door and placed his hand over the knob. "Hey hey! Wait for mehh!" Lavi rolled down his sleeves and bounced toward the door following the Noah. But before opening the door, he quickly peered behind his shoulder, remembering the strange phenomenon. But soon brushed it off. Hmmm maybe it was just nothing after all…

* * *

"What is that shit you eat anyways?" Cross questioned, getting into the other's face as the two were now confronting each other up close in the middle of the kitchen. Kanda raised his hand to his head in utter frustration before slamming his fist onto the nearby kitchen counter, making everything jump.

"Soba is not shit, you absolute bitch. It's a fucking delicacy" Kanda spat back toward the vibrant red head, clenching his fist into a tight ball.

"Oh yeah? that SHIT must get boring, HA-HA! I'm gonna take it off the menu just to piss you off" Cross smirked evilly, snarling into the stubborn teen's face.

Oh yeah, now Kanda flipped a table, "If you touch my fucking soba, I will decapitate you, then mince your body and throw your soulless remains like confetti over the fucking nation."

"Um guys" Tykki interrupted, standing by the ajar bathroom door.

"WHAT?!" Kanda and Cross shouted in unison. The two turned their heads toward the calm, casual looking Noah.

"We have a little problem"

Kanda had mild horror mixed with confusion written all over his face, The red head shot out of the bathroom. He was small. He looked like a kid. Kanda raised an eyebrow as he realised that Lavi was targeting him, running toward him. Lavi pissed him off to fucking no end. But child Lavi…

"O HELL NO" he gritted his teeth. The small rabbit continued to run at full speed.

"FUCK NO! Don't you fucking dare...STAY BACK I swear to god, if youuu…OOOFHH" Lavi jumped like a hyperactive puppy completely flooring the stubborn teen, making him land backwards with his weight on his tail. "AHH MY FUCKING TAIL. GET OFF ME YOU SON OF A BITCH."

In turn, as instinct, Kanda grabbed onto the nearby microwave cable, pulling it down with sheer force making it fall onto Cross's foot.

"ARGHHHhhhhhhhhh, MY FUCKING LITTLE TOE!" He bellowed, flailing his arms like a girl trying to dry her nails. Before bending to pick up his foot. He lost balance on one foot and slipped backwards. Falling with a thud onto the floor next to the very, very pissed off bluenette.

"Yu-Chan! Yu-Chan! Come pway with mehh!" Lavi giggled. He put on his best child like voice. This was just too much fun.

"USAGI YOU LIL FUCKER!" Kanda seethed, his eye twitching in complete frustration.

"Now now Kanda, that's no way to speak to a child" Tykki giggled, trying to stifle his laughter as he now understood Lavi's antics.

Lavi playfully wrapped his little arms around Kanda's leg and tightened his grip. "Get the fuck off my fucking leg. And don't you dare start humping it" he sat up, wriggling his leg to shove the red head off. "GET OFF"

Lavi only replied with a cheeky giggle, still gripping tighter onto the other's leg.

"Tykki, you better fucking explain"

"Oh, it was the potion. He's turned into his five year old self" he stated in a matter of factly tone, before crossing his arms.

The Samurai turned to face the small child in front of him, "Five year old Lavi eh? Get off my fucking leg before I fucking maim you."

"Pppfftt, don't you have a way with children" Cross intervened sarcastically, rubbing his hurt ass.

He sent a death wave toward the general, "your fucking one to talk" he looked back at the red head only for his expression to change, he raised an eyebrow.

Lavi sunk his head low, making it rest onto the other's leg before making a little pout. "Y-yu-Chan?" he his eye became wide. Oh shit. He was giving him the fucking puppy eyes. The emerald green eye was piercing through his soul. Kanda tried so hard to keep a monotonous straight face. Lavi kept up the staring competition in order to break the other.

"W-why are you so mean?" Lavi sputtered, nearly tearing up.

"D-don't fucking look at me like that" Kanda spat, trying not to succumb to Lavi's cuteness, trying to remain looking as manly as possible.

Tykki gaped, "Kanda, your so cruel! Your gonna make him cry!" Tykki accused, pointing toward the little tuft of red hair.

_Muahaha, now that he thinks I'm actually five, I'll freak him out that I'm not! hehe once I'm satisfied of course. _"Hehe, Yu-Chan! Yu-Chan!"

A vein popped at the side of his head, "Usagi, get off" with that, he managed to stand up, still with the small rabbit latched onto his leg. "Get of me before I kick your sorry ass" he vigorously shook his leg but the energised red head continued to latch on, still grinning like a naughty child. Kanda tried to ignore the annoying kid around his leg. He crossed his arms and glared down at the Noah, a fiery aura appeared around him. "I don't care how you do it, just get. him. Off."

"Yu-Chan! Yu-Chan!" Lavi cried, pulling at the other's leg to get his attention. The Samurai glared down at him.

"Probably thinks you're his mama with your long hair and all" Cross intervened.

"Mugen plus your dick equals castration, unless you still fucking want to use that fucking thing, shut the fuck up"

"Yu-Chan! Come here!" Lavi chirped, motioning the other teen to bend down. The Bluenette refused.

"Come on, the kid's asking for ya" Cross stated, swatting the Samurai's back.

"Fine" he managed to breath out. He finally sighed and bent down to the red head's level. "What is it?" he snapped, keeping his gaze cold and icy.

"Pretty ears!" Lavi yanked hard on one of Kanda's blue fluffy ears. Kanda's eye twitched.

Tykki and Cross couldn't contain their laughter, they both burst out at the same time clutching at their sides laughing hysterically.

"Haha! Yu-Chan, sure had you fooled!" Lavi bellowed, know using his normal voice. Cross turned dramatically, nearly snapping his neck. The Bluenette gaped in absolute confusion, mortification and anger. Tykki was on the floor laughing his head off. "You have got to be fucking kidding me" Kanda hissed dangerously under his breath.

"Pffttt….BUAHAHAHAHA! Great one, give me a fucking high five! Look's like he held back because he really thought you were a kid" Cross said in-between laughs.

Lavi ran up toward the general, slapping hard on the other's hand.

"USAGI, come back here you lil' shit, Your going on a date with Mugen" Kanda glared, a devils aura filled the room.

"….eep" Lavi gulped. "Aw, come on Yu-Chan! It was just a little fun!"

"Do I fucking look amused" he walked toward the red head, both fists clenched ready to punch the living daylights out of him. Yeah, Lavi didn't exactly want to be filleted on the spot so he ran at full speed toward the Noah. "Tykki! Save mehhh!" he pounced onto the Noah. Tykki grabbed him, "It's not very nice to beat up a five year old" Tykki smirked, looking at the seething exorcist in the eye.

"He's not fucking five"

"Well at least wait until the potion wears off" Tykki ordered, trying to console with the other and to basically save Lavi's ass.

It took him a moment before he finally answered "..Whatever"

Lavi hugged Tykki, "Thanks" he whispered. Cross noticed the closeness of Lavi and the Noah.

"Oi, is there something going on?" Cross squinted his eyes, trying to asses the situation.

Lavi leaped off the Noah. Shit, of course they'd have to keep it a secret….if anyone knew about it there'd be shit to pay. "Hehe, of course not! I didn't wanna be skinned alive by Mr Grumps over there, he was just the closest. I could of even pounced on you" Lavi giggled nervously.

Cross shrugged his shoulders, "Ah well, hey hasn't it been, what, two days already? Still no one has come to this room. Not even Bookman" he scratched his head.

The four in the room thought hard. "Yeah, something's up" Lavi concluded.

"Ahh, boy do I need a smoke" Cross sighed, rubbing his eyes. He walked over to the chair next to the basement door where his coat lay and pulled a cigar and a lighter out of the pocket.

"Go smoke in the fucking basement, you'll cut off the oxygen supply up here" Kanda ordered.

"Ha! I was gonna do that anyway Yu-Chan~"

"Don't fucking call me that EVER, now your just being plain creepy" Kanda glared. _Jeeze, Lavi and Cross could totally be related._

"Oh, Lavi can you make the cure now?" Tykki enquired, looking down at the small red head.

"Oh yeah!" Lavi ran over to the counter and scrambled to gather all the small bottles and placed them on the chair as the table was just to high. The three waited for Lavi to organise all of the bottles. The small rabbit noticed he had picked up another bottle by accident. "Eh? What's this?"

"What's what?" Tykki raised an eyebrow.

"I picked this one up by accident, I wander what it is?" Lavi inspected the bottle briefly before turning the top open.

"Hey, do you even know what it is? Watch out" Tykki warned.

"Well, there's only one way to find out" With that Lavi sniffed the contents of the bottle. It was so strong, his vision blurred instantly, his head felt light and dizzy and all went black. Lavi was knocked out completely and fell backwards, only for Tykki to catch him before he hit the floor. Kanda grabbed the bottle before it toppled over.

"Lavi! Lavi stay with me" Tykki slapped his face. But the rabbit remained unconscious.

"Baka, what is this shit anyway" Kanda analysed the bottle in his hand. He noticed the very small writing near the bottom of the bottle. "What the? Who the FUCK keeps chloroform in the kitchen?"

"Don't worry, he'll be alright" Cross comforted. "He'll wake up sooner or later."

Cross soon started walking down the steep stairs to the basement. Kanda yawned before walking calmly toward the other side of the kitchen, taking a seat in front of the Lounge door. Tykki picked up Lavi bridal style, before laying him on top of the laundry basket near the washing machine. Kanda observed his actions, but didn't say anything.

Tykki then walked away from the rabbit and began to follow Cross down the stairs, before closing the door behind him.

Kanda let his head lay back on the door and began meditating as he was now in peace and quiet. Only for something to catch his attention.

"Hey, I've never had one of these before" Tykki's voice projected loud and clear from the basement.

"I'll show you, I'll put it in my mouth first" Cross replied.

"No, let me try. I'm just not use to anything that big, that's all"

Kanda raised an eyebrow, _what the hell are they talking about?_

"It takes practice, you'll get the hang of it"

"God! That's so strong!" The voice projected what seemed to be Tykki's, followed by a lot of coughing and sputtering.

"No, no, you can spit it out! For the full effect, keep it in your mouth" Cross instructed.

Kanda was slightly disturbed and disgusted, _are they? Fucking hell, I damn well hope not._

* * *

What was really happening in the basement-

Cross handed over the cigar to the Noah, "Cigar has a stronger taste and scent! Perfect for manly men!"

"No, I think I'll just stick to cigarettes, they are a perfect size and don't completely deprive you of oxygen" Tykki deadpanned.

The two were leaning on the wall smoking, Tykki had his eyes shut and Cross was taking big drags of his cigar. The Noah decided to get some sleep and laid on the floor in the corner next to cross with his arms behind his head. Ten minutes went by and he was sound asleep.

Cross held his breath as something caught his attention on the other side of the room. Two small boys crouching down in the corner, one of them was clearly red headed and the other had prominent blue hair. Cross rubbed his eyes with one hand. "Oi kids, how did you two get in here?"

The two didn't reply.

He watched them further as he was now completely confused. "Baka! They'll kill us if they find us" the blue haired child began.

"Yu-Chan, you gotta appreciate a good game of hide and seek! This is the best hiding place!"

"Best place my ass" The so called Yu-Chan replied with a bored look.

"Hehe I'm gonna tell on you that you swore!"

"That's not fucking swearing, and don't call me that!"

"Le gasp! Holy shit Yu!"

"Ha! I'm gonna tell them that _you swore!"_

Cross couldn't believe his eyes. The two reminded him of the two he knew. "Lavi? Kanda?" he questioned aloud.

Still no reply.

Something else caught Cross's attention, a little girl ran down the stairs. She was beautiful, her little pigtails, her heart warming smile. "Lenalee?"

Still nothing.

"Ha-ha! Found you two! You should really pick a better hiding place, you hide here every time!" she chirped.

"Wait a go Baka, told you this was a crap hiding place" The blue haired teen intervened.

"Aaaww! Oh well! Tags me countin' next!" the red haired fist pumped the air. "Lenalee! Yu-Chan! Follow me!"

All of a sudden they had vanished. Cross had seriously no idea on what had happened. "What the?….Damn, I gotta lay off the alcohol"

Meanwhile Kanda was up in the kitchen. It was already quite late so his eyelids were becoming heavy. There came a loud heavy knock on the door behind his head completely startling him.

"Hey! Bakanda! Are you in there, where is everyone!"

Kanda shot up straight away and placed his ear against the wood, "Moyashi?!"

* * *

**I love you guys so much, thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it^-^ *Throws cookies at you***

**Thank you to the guys who follow, favourite, review my story and anyone who takes time to read it:)**


	10. Chapter 10 Fight

**Hello! here's another chappy~ yer, there's a lot of cake involved in this, well hope you enjoy:3**

**To describe this chapter...I can't even...**

* * *

Allen's Pov.

Allen was alone in the lounge on the floor, crouched next to the door with his back leaning against the hard wooden frame. He felt a lot better as the potion had worn off round about half an hour ago, in which he had been exhausted and had fallen asleep since then. It was round about nine o'clock in the evening before he finally woke up.

He slowly shifted upward and let out a small groan as the sitting position he had been sleeping in was very uncomfortable and had caused his neck muscles to cramp. Once he was seated comfortably against the door, he let out a wide yawn, creasing his eyes before rubbing them with his hand to wake himself fully from his pre sleeping state._ guh, I have never felt so damn horny in my life, aha… Yep, I'm going to have a serious talk with Komui and his damn potions!… Now where am I? _He looked sluggishly around the room, recognising it's contents. _Ah, I'm still in the lounge. _He had also noticed that he was the only one alone in there.

"Where is everyone" He whispered, scanning the room for movement. He brushed his hair off his face as he thought for a while before realisation hit him. _Shit! What if they got out while I was asleep?! _

He jumped in panic, scrambling up sloppily from his sitting place and began pacing quickly around the room, looking under the table, behind the sofa, under the rug... _Shitshitshit! Where are they! _He panicked mentally_, _until he noticed the closed kitchen door in front of him. _Cool It Allen! They wouldn't er… leave you! Yes! Maybe they're all in there! Aha yeah…well, I did ehem, act a little bit like a satanic sex demon, don't remember anything else…. Nothing better than to take cover in the kitchen… usual necessary safety precautions must be made…guh. Oh great, and now the key is in Cross's possession…he's probably eaten it._

"Clink"

The small noise snapped Allen out of his thoughts, he turned slowly behind, peering over his shoulder in the process. But he just brushed it off. _hmm, it sounded just like a microwave telling me food is ready… _He rubbed his eyes. _I'm probably just hearing things, I only just woke up a few minutes ago. Speaking of food, I'm hungry!_

Yet again, he heard another muffled sound, but it came from behind the door. He could vaguely hear shifty movements, followed by a smaller bump. Then silence.

Allen now knew for sure, there was in fact movement behind the door which meant someone was there.

He was hungry. He needed food. Otherwise he'd go on a serious cannibalistic rampage. Allen wasted no time and knocked hard on the door.

Back to the present

"Hey! Bakanda! Are you in there, where is everyone!"

Kanda shot up straight away and placed his ear against the wood, "Moyashi?!"

"GUH! My name is Allen! A-L-L-E-N! it's not that hard to remember!" Allen shouted through the keyhole.

"I'm stuck in here with a drunken manwhore, a Noah and a fucking mini Lavi, thanks to your demonic sex advances" Kanda deadpanned. "And yes, your name is Moyashi, Mo-ya-shi"

"A-L-L-E-N! spell it out, seriously not that hard!"

"M-O-Y-A-S-H-I, Heh you love it really"

"Guhh…We're going out if you haven't noticed, you could at leeeeeaaassttt call me by my real name! and did you say mini Lavi?!"

"I am going to shove my foot so far up his ass, he wont know what hit him."

"ah lovely…What has he done this time? Do you know what, I'm not even going to ask." Allen sighed, growing rather impatient as he needed to ambush the food cupboards.

"Can you open the door? I am starving!" Allen groaned, his stomach growled, loud enough for the two of them to hear. He needed food really badly, or he'd have to result to eating Cross's beloved couch or any other unfortunate inanimate objects that happened to be lying around.

"Oh, I don't know if I should, have you stopped having the urge to fuck my brains out?"

"Well no of course, I think of it daily…" _holy shit! did I just say that out loud! Wait a go Allen… _he mentally punished himself. Kanda raised an eyebrow, staring straight into Allen's eye through the keyhole.

"OH GOD FORGET I SAID THAT! I can't function properly with out a sufficient amount of food!" Allen chocked.

"Now I'm not going to open the door, aren't you a naughty boy" Kanda smirked, teasing Allen completely.

"Bakanda open the damn door! The fridge is calling me!" his stomach growled so loud, both of them could hear it.

"I don't have the key" Kanda deadpanned. "That fucking master of yours has it"

"Well call him!" Allen demanded. And speak of the devil, Cross had come out of the basement and walked over to his coat that lay over the chair. "Some crazy shit is happening around here" Cross yawned, pulling out another cigar from one of the pockets. "Oi, what you standing by the door for?" Cross questioned, turning his gaze upon the blue-haired teen.

Kanda cleared his throat, "None of your business, also, where the fuck is the key to the lounge door?"

Allen could partly hear the conversation, but all he could think about was food. _Hhhmmm mitarashi dango, that sweet, sweet flavour… that shiny caramel coloured sauce…Allen! thinking of scrumptious, mouth-watering, delectable, delicious food is NOT going to help! Cross, if you don't have the key, I can't even…_

"Oh that! Haha, it's safe and sound in my thong"

"What?"

"Safest place there is" Cross concluded, patting his ass. He paced across the kitchen with the cigar in hand toward the fridge and pulled out a bottle of red wine, He bit off the cork and spat it onto the floor before chugging down it's contents. "I put it in the front, but somehow it's become wedged in-between my butt crack, Ahhhh yyeeeahhhhh, this porte wine is the shit."

Allen gaped in disgust, _Shishou?! Oh, he's such an absolute ass…_

Kanda twitched his eye and Neko ear in annoyance. "What the fuck is the lounge door key doing in your butt crack?"

"Dunno, it kinda just slid in there"

It's official, Cross is the biggest fucker that ever lived. Kanda knew Allen was going to turn cannibal as he hadn't had any food yet. _Shit. I can't, no…not after where it's been…Fuck._ he gritted his teeth, "Give me the key"

Cross cocked an eyebrow. "Watcha' want it for"

"The Moyashi is back to normal if you must fucking know, now give me the key once you've scrubbed it with bloody white spirit or something"

"Oh, he's back is he? OI SHIT APPRENTICE, DO YOU COPY"

"YES I COPY…asshole"

"I HEARD THAT, fine, you can have the key" he reached with his hand, making strange faces as he rummaged for the key and finally found it and pulled it out. "Ha, you'll need more than white spirit to clean this baby" Cross stated. He walked toward the door and pushed the bluenette out of the way, "Mmm, Mitarashi dango! Pie! Pizza! It's all in here, your gonna miss out"

"Cross! You evil bastard, open the damn door!" Allen seethed shaking the door knob viciously. The said evil general waltzed toward the microwave and pulled out a random bowl of cheetos, before walking back to the door.

"Bakanda! Get the key dammit!" Allen begged.

"From where he's just pulled It out of, yeah, I'm not going to touch that now…" Kanda cleared his throat.

Cross bent down to level with the keyhole and placed the warm bowl next to it, letting the delicious scent go through, before taking one bite. He munched slowly, teasing Allen up to his limit, "OOOhhhhh yyyeaaahhh babeh, sooo goooooddd, mmmmm"

The captivating scent made it's way to Allen's nostrils, the sound of that perfect crunch… his mouth began watering, his stomach was ready to collapse on itself, "ARRGGH I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, WHERE'S THE COUCH?!" Allen screeched, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"AW HELL NO, GET YAW HANDS AWAY FROM MY COUCH BITCH"

"YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE!"

"FINE, I'll open the fucking door!" Cross sighed exasperatedly in defeat. He took the key and jolted it into the lock and turned. Allen bolted like lightning out of the door, slamming Cross in the face. The cheetos were sent flying everywhere.

Allen went over to the nearest food source, the fridge. And began taking armfuls of everything, before placing it on the table. Munching, swallowing and scoffing down everything. Both Cross and Kanda just watched in awe at the amount of food the bean sprout could actually consume in one go.

"Oi shit apprentice, don't eat EVERYTHING"

Allen replied with a growl, like a dog protecting it's territory and continued to stuff his face and purposely let food fly from his mouth onto the general. "whlemmie awwloan" Cross flicked away a fragment of food that landed near his eye.

Five minutes went by and Allen had consumed a whole damn lot and was pretty satisfied. He laid back on the chair and patted his belly. "That was sooooo good"

"You finished stuffing your face now Moyashi?" Kanda rolled his eyes, looking down at the piles of chicken bones, packaging and bowls.

"Yeah, I think I'm good for now" He replied, turning to face his lover.

"Heh, you've got something on your face" Kanda smirked, and instinctively bent down and licked off what seemed to be cupcake cream on the bottom of Allen's lip.

"Bakanda!" Allen blushed slightly. "I could have wiped it off myself!"

"Mmm, sweet, I quite like it" Kanda side smirked, inches away from Allen's face.

"Oi, throw me an apple from the fruit ball" Cross interrupted, grinning at the two. Kanda sent death waves and Allen pouted before stretching over the counter to get to the huge fruit ball and picked up an bright red apple. But something had caught his eye. It was a rounded Lemon, it reminded him of something familiar… "TIMCAMPY!"

Both Kanda and Cross turned their gaze in unison toward the bean sprout. "where is Tim campy! I haven't seen him since the day we got locked in here! I hope he's alright!"

"Timcampy? Yeah where has he gone? I haven't seen him either" Cross thought aloud. "Ah, he's fine. He'll be in the order somewhere"

"I can't believe I didn't notice before" Allen rubbed his neck, still in thought. He was a little worried but told himself to look on the bright side. "Yeah, of course he's alright." He then walked to the fridge, whilst throwing the red apple in Cross's direction.

"Cheers kid" Cross praised, catching the apple in a quick swift motion in mid air.

"Hehe, now for desert!" Allen rubbed his hands together.

"How the hell are you still hungry" Kanda cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. Allen paced toward the fridge and took out a delicious looking cream filled cake, oh yes, it was a sexy gateau. "This is a cake to die for!" Allen announced. He placed the chocolate cake on top of the counter and began cutting himself a piece. Cross finished eating his apple and went to the bathroom.

"Hey Bakanda, want some cake?" Allen asked, still in the process of cutting his own piece.

"Che, I don't like sweet things"

"What? Well you seemed to like the frosting on my lip earlier" Allen smirked.

"Heh, well that's different" Kanda smirked inwardly.

"How so?" Allen grinned. "Hmm, I love cake, let's see if it tastes better on you then" with that, Allen slid his finger over the chocolate cream coloured knife and smeared it onto Kanda's neck.

"Moyashi?" Kanda whispered, slightly surprised.

A little pink tint dusted Allen's cheeks as he brought his head close to the other's neck and licked seductively, lapping up all of the Chocolate. Kanda shuddered over the tempting sensation. "Hmmm, that does taste good" Allen licked his lips, side smirking. This was just to fucking tempting. That's it, he's totally asked for it. Kanda pinned Allen to the wall in one swift motion, holding both of Allen's arms up in place. "B-bakada! Not so hard!" he squirmed.

"Moyashi, I think I'll try some of that cake now" He whispered. Allen cocked an eyebrow before speaking, "Ne, Kanda the cake is over there, I'll cut you a piece if you don't now how" he smirked.

"Heh, that won't be necessary" he kept one hand holding up both of Allen's hands and with the other he took a handful icing and smirked back at the beanspout.

Allen sent the other a death glare, "Oh no, don't you dare!" the older teen brought his hand which was full of chocolate icing, closer to Allen's face. "Keep that icing away!"

Kanda smirked and his hand inched closer and splat the chocolate onto Allen's neck, smearing it downward through his chest. "Ergh! It's cold and sticky!" Allen groaned.

Kanda inched closer to his face smirking evilly, he then lowered his head to Allen's neck and began licking the chocolate off.

Meanwhile, Tykki had woken from sleep. He stood upright and stretched his arms above his head. _How long have I been down here? Where's Cross? Is Lavi awake yet? Guh…I think I'll go check._ He exhaled and brought up his hand to his mouth as he let out a long yawn. "They're probably asleep" he sighed.

He slowly then began walking up the steep basement stairs, still very tired. He managed to get to the top. Yep, something caught his attention straight away. There was an awkward pause. Allen was on top of Kanda, both of them on the counter covered in chocolate icing. Tykki just stood there like an idiot. Kanda just kept a monotonous straight face while being straddled by the bean sprout. Allen just sat there, his tongue sticking out as he was in the process of licking near the other's...o-oh dear god. All three of them just stared at each other.

"Em, is there something you wanted Tykki?" Allen cleared his throat. His blush covering his whole face.

"U-um, no…just uh, you know what…never mind" he gulped. He put up both of his hands in a defensive position and began backing away slowly. "I'll um, go wait until your done…" with that he jolted back down the basement stairs.

"He sure got an eyeful" Kanda deadpanned. Allen couldn't be more red.

"Bakanda! I think we should leave this kind of thing for after we get out of here" Allen cleared his throat.

"Or we should just lock ourselves up in the lounge" Kanda suggested. The two looked at each other and the two instinctively ran into the lounge. Allen ran and jumped onto the couch, and Kanda followed jumping and clambering over him, oh yea, he did a sexy hair flip. The two engaged into a heated sexy kiss. "K-kanda the door!" Allen reminded, breaking the kiss. Kanda kissed him again, loosing himself in lust "Who cares" he murmured.

"What! I care, I don't exactly want my master to waltz in and give us info on how to do it while he watches, or find Lavi sketching us out!"

"Ok fine, I was just teasing" he chuckled, only for him to stop. "Shit, we don't have the key…" Kanda realised, feeling rather disappointed. The two let out an exasperated sigh. "Ah fuck"

"Well, we couldn't do it properly anyway, let's leave for after we get out of here"

"Che, fine…I don't even want to ask him for it, fuck knows where he's put it now" He cringed. But Allen was a little warm to just stop now. "U-um, well I guess we can keep going, we don't have to go all the way" he cleared his throat. Kanda smirked at the idea, "Moyashi's a little eager and excited"

"Eh? Your one to talk! Your as excited as meeaaAAHHHA" he moaned as Kanda forcefully grinded their "areas" together purposefully to shut him up. Allen smirked and wrapped his legs around the other and the two began passionately making out.

Cross had just come out of the bathroom and walked toward the fridge, "oh yeah baby, Time for some Porte" he bent down and opened the fridge door and picked up a cold wine bottle. His eyes squinted as he could smell something rather familiar. Keeping his suspicions, he took in a deep breath to confirm his thoughts, oh yes he knew this scent all to well "Hoho, I smell sex"

Cross slid across the kitchen as stealthily as a ninja. Not only could he smell it, he also heard certain moans to confirm it. Bottle in hand, he went up to he lounge door, the source of the sounds, and listened in. "You're gonna make meaahhhaaaa!" Cross cocked an eyebrow, _heh, so apprentice is becoming a man in the making._ His thoughts came to a sudden pause. _They better not be doing it on the couch, oh fuck no_.

He decided to ruin the moment and barged through the door like a frikin' elephant stampede. "OH HELL NAW! GET OF MY COUCH BITCHES" he projected through the room like the world was ending, scaring the living shits out of the two on the couch.

The two jumped apart, Kanda falling backwards off the couch and Allen falling straight onto him, making a small heap of yulleny goodness on the floor. "Shishou?! Um, well, aha…" Allen stuttered, blushing profusely.

"My couch is off bounds, I don't want to sleep where you two have been going at it"

"SHISHOU!"

"I'm going, I'm going, you can continue but if I find you two on the couch, doing it, in a saucy position, moaning in pleasure, having a good time, I swear to kingdom come…"

"Yes yes we get it! Now GET OUT!" Allen fumed with the interruption, rubbing his temples viciously.

"Moyashi, stop acting like we did actually did do it and were caught up in some weird position."

"He caught you grinding me erotically!"

"Have fun~" He chuckled, walking out of the door and closing it behind him. Kanda and Allen sat there more than annoyed, but they both had it coming. The door was open and they weren't exactly as quiet as they anticipated. "I'm going to get a piece of cake, yeah, that'll calm me down" Allen sighed.

"Eating cake calms you down eh?" Kanda raised an eyebrow.

"Well, anything edible! Wait here, I'll be back in a moment" Allen placed a chaste kiss on the other's cheek before he jumped up and ran to the kitchen. Kanda let out an exasperated sigh and sat down with his back against the wall. _Heh, Moyashi, when we get out of here, you're not going to be able to walk for at least a month._

Allen came back with a big piece of cake on a large plate and sat down next to stubborn teen. Yes, the cake smelt amazing, if anything interrupted him and his happy cake time he'd go fruit loops._ Yeah, after I eat this, my stomach will finally be content!_

As soon as he was about to take a mouthful of that delectable cake and loud bang came from the cupboard. The two in the room both turned their heads toward the noise. "What the fuck was that?" Kanda questioned. He instinctively reached out for Mugen but of course, he was only in boxers. Mugen must have been on the floor somewhere.

"I don't know" Allen whispered. The two kept their gaze on the cupboard as shuffling was heard. "Hey, do you think it's Lavi?" Allen half whispered again.

"No, that little shit is in a washing basket in the kitchen, hell, he's probably still unconscious" Kanda replied in a similar whispered tone.

"And it can't be Cross, he just left the lounge" Allen thought aloud. "It can't be Tykki either, he's probably still traumatized from earlier and is still in the kitchen, or somewhere"

The two stood up and eyed up the cupboard, "Then who is it?" Kanda questioned. The two froze as the cupboard door hinges were creaking, someone was going to open it and come out. All of a sudden, something bolted from the cupboard, the sound of giggly laughter. "ALLEEENN-KUN!~3"

Allen's eyes were as big as saucers, Kanda didn't know how to react. "ROAD?!" Allen gaped in absolute horror. The hyperactive girl sprinted and wrapped her arms around him totally flooring him.

His cake was sent flying, Allen watched his beloved cake fall in slow motion and hit the ground with a large splat. She just destroyed his cake. Not the cake. Omfg. Not the fucking cake. Shit is going down. Allen's eye twitched. Road detached herself from Allen and stood at a reasonable distance. She was wearing a white dress, her unmistakable striped stockings, that rather large lolly pop.

"How the FUCK did you get in?" Kanda seethed, mentally looking for Mugen. "Haha, stop stressing, you'll get a wrinkle" she smirked, taking a lick at her lolly pop.

"Oi, what's all the commotion?!" Cross bellowed, barging through the room. He stared at the Noah. "How in Fuck's name did you get in here bitch?" he glared, standing next to the ajar door.

"Oh, just through a portal, I can't get back though" she replied.

"Two options, I kick your ass or you leave. Which is it?"

"Oh, I can't leave, I'm stuck in here just like you" she let out a bored sigh. "I went through the portal because the Earl sent me to find Tykki. And as soon as I came in contact with the order. My powers disappeared! And WHAT in fashion's name are you wearing"

"So it's fucking happened to you as well, Tykki has the same problem" Cross complied, trying to assess the situation. "this is a fucking designer thong if you must know"

"Road?! So you finally came looking for me, glad to see your concern" Tykki sighed exasperatedly, leaning on the door frame on the lounge door.

"Tykki!" She jumped up and hugged him tight, "They're boring me! Let's attack them!"

Road knew she had no powers, same with Tykki, but she was bored and wanted a fight, she wanted to stir things up a bit. _Ah, road could be a real bitch sometimes, _Tykki thought.

Cross and Kanda stood up immediately and stood in their fighting stance, "Bring it on!" Cross reached out for his gun, but realised he left it on the kitchen counter. "Fuck the bed!" he cursed out loud. Tykki didn't even try to sort the situation and after what Road said.

"Hehe…ahahahaaha" They are cocked an eyebrow and turned in unison toward the laughter. Allen stood there, no, dark Allen stood there. "I was going to eat that cake…no one does that to cake and gets away with it" he glared. Allen slowly bent down and picked up a handful of the destroyed cake and threw it full force at Road, making it splat onto her white pristine dress. Road looked down at her now ruined garment. Her eye twitched. "This means war" she hissed.

She scooped up the blob of cake on her dress and threw it at full force, aiming at Allen. But her throwing skills were terrible and the cake splat right onto Kanda's face. They all stared at the fuming samurai. He brought his hand up to his face and wiped the cake off in one swift motion. A fiery aura filled the room. "You're going down bitch" he seethed.

"Ho-ho! What's goin' on in here?"

They all turned toward the door, Lavi stood there, still in his child form. "LAVI GET US FUCKING AMMO, WE ARE AT WAR!" Cross bellowed. "CAKE, CUSHIONS, EVERYTHING, I REPEAT, WE ARE AT WAR"

"YESH! I'LL GO FETCH AMMO, WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?"

"IT MAKES YOU SOUND IMPORTANT"

"OH, OK!" he dashed toward the kitchen, scooping up everything in his path.

"So, exorcists against the Noah's! HA! We are going to kick your asses up the roof!" Cross declared. Road was finding this way to much fun and was totally up for some ass kicking. Lavi came back with a few cakes, cushions and other stuff and threw them everywhere.

Everyone charged at each other at the same time. Road threw a cupcake at Allen, but he managed to dodge it like a pro. But in the process Road was caught off guard as Cross flung a cushion in her face making her fall, amongst the commotion as Road fell backwards, she elbowed the bluenette's ass.

Kanda turned around and saw Cross, "You fucking molested my ass!" and falcon punched him. Cross fell, but as he did so he threw the cushion had in his hand in attempt to hit the samurai back. Instead it hit Allen on the head. Oh yeah, Allen was pissed and he knew shit was gonna fly.

Allen grabbed a small carton of juice and tried to throw it at his master, but he slipped backwards on the cake that Road destroyed earlier and the juice went flying in mid air. This hit Tykki and the juice soaked his hair. Kanda stood up and was about the throw a cushion at someone but he had got in the way of the flying juice carton that Tykki had aimed at Allen for revenge, hitting him on the head making him fall on his ass. Cross stood up again attempted to attack the samurai. Yes, instead of them fighting the Noah, everyone was fighting everyone and anyone.

Lavi wanted to get in on the fun, so he ran into the fight but he slipped and knocked into Tykki who was sent flying and accidentally unhooked Road's bra strap.

Allen threw a muffin at Tykki but he ducked and it landed at the back of Road's head making her fall along with Cross whose crotch landed on her face. "Gffet of my fasshce ASSHOLE!" Lavi found a juice carton on the floor and flung it randomly into the crowd.

The juice carton hit Allen in the eye and then later dropped onto Cross's ass, the juice began dripping onto Road. "Ahhh You got jizz in my eye!" Road shouted. She tried to punch Cross but instead she punched Allen's leg. Allen faltered and fell head first into another chocolate cake. She unsheathed her lollypop and pocked and jabbed at his side.

Lavi was running around like a headless chicken and fell over Cross, the general then got up, picked up Lavi and threw him at Kanda. "AHHHH put me down!" he landed and latched onto Kanda's face, making the two fall on top of Tykki. Allen got his face out of the chocolaty substance and stood up, only to be knocked out by Road's boob. "Feel the wrath of my basuma!" but she ended up slipping backwards and accidentally pulled down on Cross's thong bringing him down with her. They were all in a huge heap on the floor. "Well that was fun!" Road giggled. "What shall we do now"

"Well firstly, GET THE FUCK OFF MY THONG BITCH, and secondly does anyone know why this crazy shit has been happening!?"

The six lay there in silence, but Tykki decided to break it, "How about we play some poker?"

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**Oh lordy O.o well... tell me what you think, please tell me if it sucks or something3**

**Thank you for whoever reviews, favourite's and follows or just reads my story! I love you guys!:3**


	11. Chapter 11 Poker

**Hiya! Here's another chappy! I hope you enjoy!~030~This chapter...I can't even...o.o**

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"We'll play when, Well, once we get out of this mess" Tykki struggled to breath. They were all piled up in a muddled heap. Tykki was bearing the weight of all of them as he was on the bottom. Kanda was pancaked on top of the Noah, both Lavi and Allen were glued onto the Bluenette's front.

The current Lavi's ass was in his face. Road was on top of both Lavi and Allen on her front with her hands supporting her head, while her legs were playfully kicking in the air. She was enjoying all this fun until a certain asshat decided to jump on top of her, completely winding everyone in the pile up. "VICTORY IS MINE, FUCK YEAH!" Cross bellowed, using the pile as a winners podium.

"GUHH, WILL YOU REMOVE YOUR ASS" Allen exclaimed, breathing for air while still trying to recover from his mild concussion of being boob slammed.

"CROSS YOU STUPID SHIT" Kanda seethed, "will everyone get the FUCK of me" he struggled under the four on top of him.

"Owowowow, your GIGANTIC ass is digging into my shoulder blade!" Road complained. Cross rubbed his ass harder onto her, "Oh? What was that? I can't hear you~" he crossed his arms, rather enjoying literally rubbing his ass onto one of the Noah.

"Moyashi, take your elbow out of my crotch" Kanda cleared his throat.

"Whhaaooah! Sorry!" Allen jumped in his skin, blushing profusely as he removed his arm to another position. Kanda let out a very relieved sigh. Lavi snickered as he watched the two lovebirds in his peripheral vision, oh-ho, if Allen keeps this kinda thing up, Yuu's sure gonna snap! _Oh yes, and I'll be there when he does! Damn I gotta have my sketch pad and crayolas at the ready, oh yeeeeesssssssssssss._

"Allen is just eager to get the D" The rabbit announced, wriggling his eyebrows at the bean sprout next to him. Allen chocked on his spit. "LAVI?!"

Road gaped, "Allen-Kun! You prefer the D?!" she questioned, somewhat horrified. "Alleeennn-kun! What is Lavi on about!" Road shouted into his eardrum. "Allllleeeeeennnnnnnnnnnn!" she began poking at the bean sprout's back. Kanda was getting annoyed over everyone on top of him and the fact Road's giggly, girly voice was so fucking annoying, it was completely driving him up the wall. "Shut up bitch" he scowled, glaring daggers into the side of her face.

She stuck her tongue out playfully, "ha! Make me!" she continued. "Aalllllllllllllleeeeeeeennnnnnnnn!" everyone let out an exasperated sigh. "Just tell the bitch, she's fucking up my sanity" Cross intervened.

Allen wished he'd invested in some earplugs, the girl just wouldn't cut him any slack. "Road, he knows I'm er…eager to get the um…" _think Allen think! _"The…em…er, aha! Dangos! Yeah, dangos! I'm um eager to get one" _hopefully this'll change the subject._

"Dangos? Oh dangos! Do you have any! I want one too!" She giggled. Lavi grinned wider. "Oh-ho, I bet ya do, Allen here is sure craving one now, he wants to pop one into his mouth, nice an' slow to...relish the flavour~" Lavi added, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Kanda swallowed thickly…fuck. He was gonna lose it. The image in his head of Allen doing just that on something else... Christ on a bike. Shit on the fan. Holy fuck. Dang he was gonna lose it.

"EHHEMM" Allen cleared his throat loudly, shooting Lavi a glare. "Yeah, they sure are good" Allen sweat dropped, "With the uh delicious cream and uh…ehem" Lavi's dirty mind was now affecting him and whatever he said sounded so wrong, so he just stopped for both Kanda's and his sake.

"Allen-Kun, wow and I thought he was talking about something else" Road laughed nervously, weaving her fingers together before placing her head on her hands.

Allen mimicked her nervous laughter, "aha, yeah …aha" he cleared his throat. _Haha, I bet she knows now but she doesn't want to believe it, I'm sure she's not that thick…_

The vibrant red head burst out laughing, "just has a little unresolved sexual tension between him and the blue haired bitch here" Both Kanda and Allen gaped, _Cross, you stupid shit, you stupid damn bastard. Wait a go announcing it to the whole world…. _They both thought.

"The fuck did you call me" Kanda fumed under the pile.

Lavi started laughing hysterically. "Yu did have his 'I wanna fuck Moyashi' face on a moment ago"

"Usagi! Don't call me by my fucking first name! and will you get your fat ass out of my face!" he seethed.

Road blinked twice, "wwhhhaaaaaaaaaa?" still trying not to believe the newly found information.

"Fat ass? Hey, I watch my weight! I have a nice plump, lean, smexy ass FYI!" Lavi rubbed his butt onto Kanda's face to emphasize his point.

"I swear to god Usagi…"

"Allen-Kun! Is this true?! With this jerk?!" Road gasped.

"Haha! Sure it is, they were going at it ON MY FUCKING COUCH!" Cross stated.

"GGGGUUUHH, WE DID NOT ACTUALLY DO IT!" Allen rubbed his temple in frustration.

"Who the fuck are you calling a jerk bitch?" Kanda shouted from under the pile, trying to shoot her a glare.

"Haha, you're my apprentice's bitch…AHAHAHAHAHA" Cross began laughing, continuing to rub his ass onto Road, crushing everyone underneath.

"Cross you stupid shit, when I get out of this I'll find Mugen and shit will happen, you fucking ass molester" kanda struggled, sandwiched in-between bodies.

"Cross you asshat! Get off the damn pile, I'm being crushed down here! "Ahh! Your hair is in my eye, get it out! Get it out!" Tykki flailed under the samurai.

"If you get any fucking eye juice on my fucking smexy hair I will fucking shave your fucking ass using a lady's razor blade"

They turned they're heads questionably toward the Bluenette.

"Now look what you're doing to Bakanda, Your cutting off his oxygen supply and now he can't think straight" Allen deadpanned. "You'll kill us all"

"OOoooohh, I feel a good one coming!" Cross interrupted, adjusting himself on top of the female Noah.

They all turned their heads in unison. "What are you talking about?" Tykki questioned.

And before they knew it…"ROOOOOOOPAPAPAPAPA...pfffttsssssssssss" the loudest fart known to man shook the room. Cross had let one rip on top of Road.

"EEEeeeewwwwwww, get off me! Oh god *cough* I need a gas mask! I need sanitizer and febreeze A.S.A.P!" Road spluttered. Lavi pinched his nose to try and block the smell, "Whohoa, stin-ky" he fanned his surrounding with his other hand.

Allen's nostrils widened and his eyes squinted. "Shishou?! That is so disgusting! EWEWEWEW" he choked, putting his hand in front of his face and dramatically fanning the air with his other hand. Kanda had never smelt anything so horrible. "Will you fucking zip up your ass crack" he fumed, "Cross you bastard, you make me want to fucking slaughter innocent people…" he cursed, trying to exhale the smell out of his nostrils. Tykki flailed around, "Cross, what in fuck's name do you eat?! Sweet Jesus will someone open a window!"

"There are no fucking windows if you haven't noticed, we would have been out of here already if there were for fuck's sake." Kanda snapped.

The five underneath were beyond pissed as the general was using them as a frikin' deck chair. Kanda lifted his knee hard upwards and managed to shift the others on top of him, but they didn't budge enough to actually make them fall.

At that precise moment, the potion on Lavi had finally worn off and with a 'ping' he returned to his normal size in a matter of milliseconds, knocking the wind out of the bluenette and the Noah as he added extra weight to the pile, before the samurai could complain and curse the order down, Lavi's ass grew back to normal and bummed the samurai in the face.

"Usfhagi! Ghhet yhour fhhuucking asshhh ohhff my fhacshe!" his legs accidentally kicking Tykki in the face, his elbow grew back, elbowing Allen's side in the process. The sudden jolt of Lavi's growth made Cross, Road and Allen fall off with a large thud on the floor. "HELLS YEAH! I'M SEXY AGAIN!" Lavi bounced excitedly. Jolting off the rather pissed of bluenette and the flattened Noah.

They all managed to get up and all they could hear was Tykki's sigh of relief. "God, I think I could have deflated with the weight of your asses on me" he stated, still lying flat on the floor. The others were standing, brushing off food from themselves. In the mean time, Road eyed up Allen questionably, who in turn was also shaking pieces of food out of his hair.

She couldn't help but feel a little jealous at the thought of Allen being with the samurai in any kind of relationship. Allen can't roll that way can he? No, it can't be true can it?

"Allleennnn-kuuuunnn!~" Road chirped. Snaking her arms around the bean sprout's neck making him flinch. Allen cleared his throat, subtly trying to remove himself from her killer grip. "Aha Road, what are you doing?" he asked gingerly.

"Hugging you! I haven't seen you in sooooo long!" she bit her bottom lip and batted her eyelashes. She was definitely up to something. Kanda's eye twitched as he saw that bitch with her hands all over his Moyashi and walked straight up toward them, clenching his fist tightly. "What the fuck do you think your doing?" he snapped. Like fuck he would let her put the moves on _his_ Moyashi.

"Spending time with Allen-Kun!" Road simply replied. Smiling sadistically at the bluenette as she brought Allen closer to her face. "Road, aha…can you let go now?" Allen intervened, trying to inch himself away from her face. Kanda sent off the biggest death glare in her direction. "Take your hands off him" he gritted his teeth.

"Nope! You jealous?" she giggled, bringing her face closer to the whitette. Kanda couldn't contain his anger and grabbed one of the bean sprouts arms roughly. "The Moyashi is _mine_" he scowled, before taking Allen out of Road's grip and brought the bean sprout's head towards his own with one hand, crashing their lips together.

Road gasped and stood there gaping at the sight. Allen was rather surprised and his face began to heat up increasingly, but he soon returned and melted into the kiss. Lavi spotted the scene and slowly slid his sketch pad out of God knows where. After they broke apart, Kanda held Allen close to him, "Moyashi's with me, so get over it"

"Allen-Kun, with him…really?!" she wined in disbelief, looking between the two.

Allen sighed and began to speak, "Yes, he's a stubborn jerk, yes he's a total ass at times, well all the time." he corrected, averting his gaze between the two "Yes he's a guy and yes it's true we're going out and I wouldn't have it any other way, yes it's true" he cleared his throat, feeling rather embarrassed of showing that in public.

"And yes, he want's the D" Lavi intervened.

"LAVI?!" Allen exclaimed.

Road pouted, "So, do you not find me attractive in any way?"

"Well, uh…no" he cleared his thought, scratching the back of his head. Kanda just rolled his eyes at the whole situation.

"Oh Allen-Kun, it may have not worked between us anyway! I'm too good for you!" she flicked her hair back. "Hhmmm, maybe I'll move on to Lenalee" She thought aloud, tapping her finger against her lip while she thought.

In unison, everyone gave her an incredulous look. "Wait wut….wow, wow, wow, hold the phone" Lavi interrupted, "Haha, Lenalee?" he blinked twice. "Well, nothing' better than watching girl an' girl lovin'!"

"Oh hell yeah, gotta agree on that one" Cross acknowledged. "So, you think Lenalee's hot?"

"Well yes of course, don't you?" Road giggled, rather surprising everyone in the room.

"Fuck yeah, she's curvy in all the right places." Cross complied. The three continued their rather odd conversation about the matter. Kanda cocked an eyebrow in curiosity as Lavi was grinning wildly, looking between him, then back at Road and Cross.

"You fucking perverts" Kanda deadpanned. The three looked like they were planning something as their hushed voices became quieter and quieter. Road was giggling, and Cross was smirking.

Lavi suddenly jumped and wrapped his arm around the bluenette, "haha, oh yes we are, and I bet you are too" Kanda swatted Lavi's arm of his shoulder. "Don't fucking touch me"

"What's long hard and full of seamen?" Lavi asked, bearing the biggest of grins.

"Jesus fucking christ, you have fucking issues, what the fuck?"

"Just answer the question Yu-Chan" Lavi demanded.

"Have I told you plans for your death?"

"Yyyeeaahh buuut, come on just answer it!"

"I'm not a fucking pervert like you, if you think I'm going to answer that fucking question, you're a fucking dipshit"

"How is that a pervy question? The answer is a submarine, what dirty things are you thinking of?" Lavi blinked twice almost innocently. Everyone stared at him with an questionable expression.

"I am going to murder you"

"ANYWHO I'm bored! TYKKI!" she shouted across the room, startling everyone. "Shall we play poker now! I'm in the mood!"

"So is everyone ready for some poker then?" Tykki asked, looking for responses around the room.

"Well I'm up for a round" Cross sighed, stretching his arms over his head. Everyone had soon agreed to play, so they went over to a clearing on the floor and sat down where there was no food in the way.

They adjusted themselves into a perfect circle. Allen went hunting for his trousers as the old pack of cards were in his back trouser pocket. Once he came back, he sat down cross-legged next to his lover and Lavi and took the cards out of the packet. "Heh, so what's it gonna be strip, or non-strip" Allen grinned demonically, shuffling the cards expertly between his fingers.

"Strip? Some of us only have boxers on" Tykki cleared his throat. All of them turned to face the bean sprout as they noticed in fact all of them were only in boxers. Minus Road, who was wearing her dress and hopefully underwear.

"Better not lose then" Allen grinned before laughing evilly. "If we play strip, that is"

Everyone glanced at each other, Allen could truly be evil. "How about we find our clothes and put em' back on again, that way we could possibly play strip" Lavi suggested.

"Nah, that's BORING, how about we do that, but whoever has to lose a piece of clothing has got to take it off as seductively as they possibly can. If we aren't satisfied, then they'll have to do a forfeit"

"Cross ma friend, you are a genius" Lavi patted his back in agreement.

"Che, Fuck that shit" Kanda scowled, crossing his arms in the process. Lavi smirked evilly, turning his gaze to him before whispering. "Hey, if Allen loses, don't ya wanna see him take off a piece of clothing seductively. He is a bad boy when it comes to poker. You know you want it"

"…." a vein popped at the side of his head. Of course he wanted that, but he would never say it out loud.

"So, are we doing strip then?" Allen looked around the room, everyone seemed to be up to it apart from his lover. _Ha, I'll make you enjoy this round of poker. _he thought, a smirk reaching his lips. "Ok then, let's go find our clothes then" Everyone scrambled up to their feet and began searching for their clothes. Cross found his trousers in the oven, and his shirt sprawled over the couch_. Not only were they going to fucking do it on my couch, they were gonna do it on my fucking shirt._

Tykki and Lavi found their clothes in the cupboard, Kanda found his trousers and his top in a jumbled mess next to Allen's. He also spotted his sword, Mugen, standing upright in the corner of the room. Now that everyone put on their clothes, they were ready to play.

* * *

Allen's eyes gazed upon the winning cards in his hand, a perfect royal flush. He peered over the cards upholding his well known poker face. Scanning the faces of his fellow players. Lavi was sitting cross-legged on the carpet, one hand holding his hand of cards and the other, supporting the underside of his chin. He was biting his lip anxiously.

Allen slyly shifted his eyes over the top of his cards toward Cross. The general was smoking yet again another cigar, he was gazing down at the cards in hand, before switching one of them with one in the pile. Cross was quite good at these games and shouldn't be underestimated. The silence was growing thicker with anticipation. _I wonder who the first person to strip will be. _

Road was lying on her front, her hand supporting her head as she held her cards with the other hand, she was also biting her lip. Tykki had a good poker face, so he couldn't really tell. Kanda's face was quite expressionless, the expressionless could almost pass as a poker face. He knew the bluenette hated these games, but he didn't know whether he was good or not as he only played him once in a train pack from a mission. It was time that everyone showed their cards.

"I win" Allen smirked, placing the cards down in front of him. The others gazed upon the high cards and looked back at their own. "Ah poop! And I thought I was doing well" Lavi pouted placing his cards down. "I got a three of a kind"

"I got a straight flush" Cross stated, placing the cards down as he took another drag from his cigar. All gazes fell upon Tykki. "Your good at this game shounen" he placed his cards so all could see, "four of a kind"

Road was next. "Awww, I got a two pair! No fair!" she pouted. Well, Kanda was the only one left, if he got lower than Road, then he'd be the first to strip. If not, she would have to. "So Yu-Chan~ whatcha' get?" Lavi grinned down at the Bluenette. The said samurai was making rather incoherent mumbling sounds, or quiet cursing. "I fucking hate this game" he gritted his teeth. Refusing to show his cards.

"Aw come on Yu-Chan! It can't be that bad!"

"I got a mother-fucking one pair"

"oh, hehe well that actually is quite bad, well looks like your stripping first"

"Ya gotta do it real sexy" Cross intervened, "or do the forfeit."

"What's the forfeit?"

"Make out with me, your favourite general" Cross laughed evilly.

"Holy fuck no, I'd rather strip" he cleared his throat. Kanda let out a very annoyed sigh before reaching for the bottom of his top and started pulling it up slowly with both hands. Allen bit his lip as he watched more toned abs become uncovered.

He was nearly drooling at the sight when Kanda whipped it off like a satanic sex god, throwing it across to the other side of the room. To add to that pure sexy moment, his hair tie had got caught with the top and his hair was let lose, biting his lip in the process.

_Omgomgomg, he's killing me now, calm down Allen, Calm it!_ And to add to _that_, his drop dead smexy smirk formed onto those sinful lips and his satanic eyes were facing in his direction. _I have never witnessed something so smexy in a span of four seconds. Holy. _

"Well, Yu-Chan, you're a natural sex god! I gotta tell ya"

"I am never going to fucking do that again" Kanda gazed at Allen, he definitely knew he was enjoying it. Allen cleared his throat, "Anyway, ehem, let's continue"

Minutes along with multiple rounds went by, Cross managed to lose his shirt, acting like a professional stripper on crack while he did so. Road had lost her dress, she actually looked like she was pole dancing the air before she managed to remove it, her first attempt had failed so she had to forfeit and actually make out with Cross, rather willingly (Ew).

Tykki had lost his shirt and belt, taking them off as seductively without much effort, Lavi had to contain his drool (Noah of pleasure of course). The rabbit had lost both his top and trousers, flinging them in the air in a circular motion while twerking his ass. Yeah, he was enjoying it waaaayyy to much. Now it was Allen's turn to lose, on purpose, as his lover was pissed at the fact he hadn't stripped yet . "Woah Allen! Your first loss of the game and this is the last round!" Lavi pointed out. "Time for ya to strip!"

Allen bit his lip and started unbuttoning his shirt very very slowly, bearing a subtle side smirk as he looked up to gaze at the Bluenette.

_Does he fucking know how fucking tempting he looks right now…If he does anything else, that's it, I'm going to lose my shit. He's doing it on purpose._

Allen noticed the lust building up in the other's eyes, he found it quite amusing that Kanda was tying everything in his power to refrain himself from jumping him on the spot. Allen continued until his shirt was open.

His hand traced the bottom of his lean stomach all the way up to his lips. Making the bluenette follow his actions. The other swallowed thickly at the provocative sight that make his stomach churn. Allen finally removed the piece of clothing and wore that sexy face, only seen in battle, or when crown clown was activated.

That was it. Kanda had lost it. Moyashi had asked for it. When the game had ended, everyone stood up to go and do their own thing. Kanda stood up and paced toward the bean sprout with hungry eyes. Before Allen could respond, he grabbed the bean sprout, "You. Me. Cupboard. Now" before dragging him off toward the cupboard.

"Well, looks like he's finally snapped!" Lavi laughed, waving at Allen with a random handkerchief. "Hey Yu-Chan, be careful with him!" he winked. "Have fun"

"Lavi! Save me, he's gonna go savage on me!" Allen flailed.

"It's your fault Moyashi" Kanda stated, continuously dragging the bean sprout behind him. When Kanda got to the cupboard, he threw open the door, shoved Allen in and got in himself before closing the door. Inside the cupboard, dang he was a sex demon or frikin' marijuana. Allen was instantly pushed up against the wall of the cupboard door.

Kanda crashed his lips roughly onto the other's, pressing himself into the magnetic, mind-melting heat. Allen moaned into the kiss and instantly wrapped his legs around the bluenette's. "I may be a bit rough" Kanda spoke huskily between kisses on Allen's neck.

"The rougher, ahh- the better" he moaned. Yes he felt like a slut, but dang he wanted this so damn bad. Screw pride. He blushed bringing Kanda's hips forward as he wrapped his legs around tighter to grind up their needs against each other, their bodies flushed at the euphoric feeling. Hitting them both like electricity. Allen moaned again as Kanda brought his head down on his neck, feverishly sucking and kissing. Then Allen pressed them together to feel that delicious feeling again causing Kanda to let out a low grunt.

_Meanwhile~ outside the cupboard~_

"How long do ya think they'll take" Lavi giggled, his ear placed against the cupboard door. "With their stamina, I'd say hours"

Road pouted. "Do they have to be so loud?" she crossed her arms, casually sitting on the sofa.

"Allen's pretty loud. Yu-Chan must be doing something right! I can't sketch em' out while they have the door locked. But I have photographic memory."

"Hehe, so what are you suggesting?" Cross intervened smirking, also with his ear against the cupboard door.

"If I open it and catch em' in some position. I'll be able to remember it. Hehe, so no loss, either way I'll have some yaoi to work with. Hehe, me and Lenalee are yaoi partners in crime! We've already installed small cameras around the order, we had early suspicions."

"They'll kill you if you open the door" Tykki let out an exasperated sigh.

"Not if I give something they'll need" he grinned mischievously. Lavi paced over to Bookman's desk and took something from the back of one of the drawers. Lavi then paced back toward the cupboard holding a small bottle in hand.

"Is that what I think it is?" Tykki squinted his eyes, analysing the bottle.

"Oh, yes it is ma friend" Lavi nodded his head, "Oh yes it is"

"Wait…so that's Bookman's?" Road ran from her place on the couch and stared at it in awe.

"Haha, so the old geezer still has it in him" Cross cocked an eyebrow, taking another drag from his cigar. "Wait wut…actually I don't know whether I should be fucking horrified or something"

"Ok, everyone turn around! They don't need everyone starin' at em'!" He motioned with his hands for the others to mind their own business. "Shoo and leave this to me, I'll do the honours of handing over the lube…by the way…don't tell em' it's Bookman's. They will flip their shit" Lavi whispered.

Everyone turned around as instructed and Lavi flung open one of the doors. And holy fuck. He had instant whiplash from the gigantic nosebleed he was having. Lavi's face burned bright scarlet. Dat position…Lavi could only stare in awe.

"USAGI?!" Kanda (Who was rather pissed if I might add) brought his hand out of the cupboard and snatched the bottle out of Lavi's hand, before slamming the door shut. Lavi just stood their trying not to die of blood loss. And if things couldn't get any weirder. Lavi had just spotted Teidoll in a bath towel in the kitchen.

* * *

**O.o Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Thank- you so much for the people who review, follow and favourite my story:3**

**Wew, yeah...Bookman...hmm, well...I don't even know... Tell me watcha' thinkXD Thank-you for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12 A real illusion?

**Hi guys! wow I'm so sorry for being quite late:O I had some trouble with my document manager._. guh... Anyway I hope you like this chapter!**

**Hope you enjoy:D**

* * *

The man who he had recognised as Tiedoll had been pacing around the kitchen and had shortly turned left toward the bathroom in a haste. Lavi rubbed his eye before looking back, "What the hell?" _was it an illusion? Was it a trick of the eye or mind? Is it a side effect from the potion? Am I just nuts?_ Just before he was about to go and investigate the creepy vision on his own, he felt a warm hand shaking his shoulder. "Did you see that too?" He turned around to come face to face with Tykki. "Yeah, old geezer in bath towel?"

"Yeah, I saw that too" Tykki whispered, averting his gaze between Lavi and the kitchen behind. "I think it's an illusion"

"An illusion? How do you know?" Lavi whispered, keeping their conversation as hushed as possible. Tykki brought his face closer. "Remember in the bathroom I said I saw your child self with Bookman"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"When I tried to talk to them, they didn't respond at all and after that, they vanished. I have no idea on what the hell's going on. Maybe it's similar with Teidoll, another illusion"

"Ok, hmm" Lavi brought his hand up, whilst tapping his finger on his lip in deep thought. His eyes widened. "Hold on, I remember one day, me and the old Panda were in the bathroom. He gave me a shit load of work and it was on a holiday weekend. All the other children were allowed to play, but I had to stay in and study! So I asked him if I could go play, for the thousandth time, but he said no."

"Actually, that does sound like a lot like the illusion I witnessed" he put his hand to his mouth while he thought. "So, these are actually events that have actually happened in the past"

"But if these are events of the past, when the hell has Tiedoll ever come into this room in a bath towel, cus I don't remember?" Lavi questioned. Both Lavi and Tykki furrowed their brows in thought, before turning their gaze to the kitchen. "Hoho, maybe the old Panda and Tiedoll have been hooking up" Lavi nudged Tykki in the side.

"Are you trying to make me barf?"

"Hehe, well ya never know! let's go watch!"

"Nonononono! What if this is an event that happened in the past and they are hooking up, I don't wanna walk in on them going at it in the bathroom?!" Tykki argued.

"Come on! Let's go!" Lavi half whispered, latching onto Tykki's arm before pulling him toward the kitchen door, Tykki let out a sigh and followed him. Meanwhile, both Road and Cross had noticed the two tiptoeing out of the room. "I bet that they're annoyed that these two took up the cupboard, maybe they had the same idea and had to relocate to the bathroom." Cross stated.

"OOooohh! This is like Yaoi HQ!" Road giggled, flopping down onto the sofa. "Hey! That's it!"

"What?" Cross raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe if I collect enough Yaoi material for Lenalee, I'll be able to get closer to her!" She cackled evilly. "Problem is I need a cam recorder!"

"Ha, good luck with that. You know you're an enemy and Lenalee might not be into chick's"

"Party pooper! A girl can dream!" she pouted. "I know! maybe Bookman has one in his drawers!"

"Heh, what _doesn__'__t _he have in his drawers?" he intervened, taking another drag of his cigar. Road rushed over to Bookman's drawer and started rummaging through everything.

* * *

The two peered their heads around the kitchen door. "So, we'll just wait" Lavi half whispered. The two eyed the bathroom door for no less than a minute before the knob turned, opening the door. The said Teidoll paced toward the fruit bowl and took an apple. "See, it's just an illusion of him eating an apple, do you think I'm so peverted that I'd risk watching old man buttsex?"

"Yes"

Lavi gaped, "That's why I didn't drag you with me to go into the bathroom! Hoho, not even I would stoop that low, it's just not hot!" he half whispered.

"Shhh! Yea, it's just him eating an apple…how boring, and why is he in a bath towel?" Tykki whispered.

"Hehe, I'll ask the illusion" Lavi grinned. "Hey Tiedoll, why are you wearing a bath towel?!" he shouted across the room, not expecting a response.

"Lavi, is that you?!" The said Teidoll replied, scaring the soulless shits out of the two.

"AAHHH THE THING REPLIED! IT'S TIEDOLL'S GHOST!" Lavi screamed in horror. "SHITSHITSHIT! GET THE DOOR!"

"AHHHH I'M TRYING!" Tykki shouted, fumbling for the knob.

The two scrambled viciously away from the door, both had their hands over the knob and slammed the door shut and slammed themselves with their backs against the door. The two were breathing heavily. Cross and Road just blinked twice. "What the flying fuck happened to you two?" Cross questioned.

"G-ghost" Lavi stuttered.

"B-bath towel" Tykki struggled to catch his breath.

"T-Teidoll" They both answered.

Before Cross and Road were about to respond, there came a series of hard knocks on the door. "I'm not a ghost! Let me in! Lavi-Kun! Was that you?" came a muffled shout from behind the door.

"He's out to get me!" Lavi gulped.

Cross face palmed his head and ran his hand over his face, "Great, fanfucking tastic, fucking Teidoll"

"MARY! IS THAT YOU?!" Teidoll shouted.

"BUAHAHAHAHA, he calls you Mary!" Road laughed.

"I swear to fucking fuck, why are you here?" Cross demanded, burning holes through the door.

"I was walking to my office, when all of a sudden I teleported here where I was a week ago, wearing the towel I was wearing at the time! I saw you baby Allen-Kun last week Mary! He's so cute!"

Cross face palmed. "Oh my fuck, and why the fuck were you wearing a fucking bath towel? Anyway I've been stuck with your's in here and he's a little BITCH…..he is not my baby"

Teidoll began again, "Well, Someone took my clothes when I was in the baths, so I came in here looking for clothes as the door was open, but this was a week ago. My baby Yu is just sensitive! He's in there with you?!….Allen is your baby Mary!"

Cross was nearly pulling his hair out in frustration, "Who the fuck would steal your fucking clothes and why would you come in here for clothes? SENSATIVE MY FUCKING ASS, that shitcunt is fucking Satan himself! He's in here currently SCREWING my apprentice…that LIL SHIT is not my baby."

Teidoll continued, "I don't know who would steal them, I came in here because it was closest to the baths as I didn't want to go around the order half naked. Yu just has problems expressing himself, so he's finally come out of the closet! I'M SO HAPPY MARY!…and don't talk about your baby like that!

Cross rubbed his temples in a circular motion, "So your saying this happened a week ago, so this is the you, but the you that was a week ago? EXPRESSING HIMSELF? Ha! And no, he's still in the closet having a fucking good time, LITERALLY….slave is better term than baby!"

Lavi and Tykki looked at each other, they were both partly deaf from all the shout communication through the door and decided to open it, but before they could. Teidoll came through the door itself.

"What the FUCK?!" Cross spat out his cigar.

"Oooh I didn't know I could do that!" Teidoll gasped.

"I-it's a-a ghost!" Road stuttered.

"Ha, Nice bath towel" Cross mocked. Lavi went over to Teidoll and poked his arm. "W-what are you?" he stared in awe.

"I'm in the same place, dressed in the same thing as I was a week ago…I guess I'm an illusion of my week old self, I don't remember anything from last week up until now. What's going on?" he adjusted the glasses on the ridge of his nose.

"Shit knows, I've been seeing illusions! I'm fucking stuck in here for about three or four days, with a rabbit, two of the fucking Noah clan, my shit biscuit of an apprentice and your fucking fuckassing, asshating, dipshiting, fucktarding, shitcunt of a son."

"Mary, there's no need for language. The two of the Noah you say?" He looked around the room and spotted Tykki and Road. "Why haven't they obliterated the order yet?"

"Because we lost our powers somehow" Tykki sighed, crossing his arms before leaning on the door frame.

"We've been in here for four fucking days, and not even Bookman has come to this room, it's practically were he comes to fucking study or put away records. He should have had thousands to put away, yet he's not appeared" Cross rubbed his temple, "Lucky there's enough food, or we would've been fucking starved"

"Mary, how on earth did you get stuck in here with all of them?" He continued the conversation, to try and get some understanding.

"I came here to get a drink, the trio of dipshits came to the room and I have no idea on why, the rabbit dropped the key and it went under the fucking door. Tykki came in through a portal to sneak into the order, but lost his powers when he made contact with the order and Road came through a portal to look for Tykki, but lost her powers when she made fucking contact with the fucking order! Oh, and then you appeared out of fucking nowhere!" Cross bellowed.

"Mary, it must be something in the order that is making this happen. Anything odd happen before this strange phenomenon started?"

_Ahhhh! Fuck yessss! Clunk! O-oh s-sorryahhh!_

All eyes glued onto the cupboard, everyone went thickly silent.

_Ahh! That was my f-fucking eye-ngh! _

_B-Bakanda! Don__'__t t-thrust so hard then!_

_Don__'__t tell-ngh me how to f-fucking t-thrust!_

"Wow, they even argue when they do it" Tykki scratched his head.

"Do ya think they forgot we're still in here?" Lavi laughed, "Let's wait till they finish, I'll grab some popcorn!" with that Lavi sprinted to the kitchen.

"Fuck, what has it been? Half an hour?" Cross deadpanned.

"I haven't seen my little Yu for a few weeks, nice to know he's having a good time" Teidoll stared wide-eyed at the cupboard, blushing slightly. More pronounced thuds where heard, making the others in the room freeze.

_Ahhhhaaahh! Fuck! T-there ahh yesssss Ahhhh! Ah! Ow! You keep hitting my back against the wall Baka! Are you trying to give me concussion!_

_Quit complaining! I said I w-was fucking rough-ngh! Now deal with it._

"My apprentice sounds like a fucking whore" Cross deadpanned.

"Anyway, anything unusual happen?" Teidoll cleared his throat, trying to break the awkward atmosphere.

_M-Moyashi, ah fuck! _The others stood there in silence, this was beyond awkward. Lavi sprinted back through the lounge door with a bag of popcorn just in time, "Tags me getting' the couch!" he ran.

"Oh no ya don't" Cross bellowed, joining the race. After a short argument of who gets he couch, they decided to share. Lavi squished in the middle, Cross on his left and Tykki on his right. All taking popcorn like they were watching some intense movie. Yes it was rude to listen in but…who could really resist. The violent curses of pleasure were followed by repetitive thuds in the cupboard wall.

"Dang! Allen's not gonna be able to walk for weeks" Lavi concluded, staring in awe. "Someone pass me popcorn, hey! Cross, don't take all of it?!" he swatted Cross's hand away.

_Fuck! Nng Allen, your so fucking t-tight! _The voice who was very much Kanda's cursed out loud.

_Ahh yesssss moooreeee! _

"_Fucking-nhg hell Moyashi, your such a whore__"_

"_H-harder! AAHHHHHHHH! _Everyone in the room flinched. Still with their eyes glued to the cupboard. There was a prolonged silence…

"Do ya think Allen's ok?" Teidoll cleared his throat.

"Hehe, I think he's more than ok" Lavi wriggled his eyebrows. He kept his gaze on the cupboard, only to notice Road throwing papers around on Bookman's desk. "Ne, Road, whatcha' lookin' for?"

"I'm looking for a cam recorder! Does Bookman have one?"

"Yeah, sure he does!"

Everyone turned their gaze to Lavi. "Hehe, Bookman has all sorts of stuff in there!" he ran up to the drawers and started looking for it, throwing random things out of the drawers. One of the things landed on Cross's face. "What the?" he took it off his face and held in front of him, only for him to choke on his cigar yet again, "Fuuuuuuuuuck?"

"What is it? They're only…pink bloomers" Tykki cocked an eyebrow.

"Don't you think I know fucking bloomers when I see em' the problem is that these aren't fucking his"

"Then whose are they?" Tykki took a closer look as Cross showed him the name, neatly threaded onto the waistband.

"Well fuck me!" Tykki raised both eyebrows. "What the hell are those doing in bookman's drawer?!"

"I don't want to fucking know…." he flicked the said bloomers back at Lavi. The red head, after minutes of searching had finally pulled out a cam recorder. "I found it!" he fist pumped the air.

"YesyesyesyesMUAHAHAHAHA PERFECT!" Road cackled evilly, snatching the said cam recorder out of Lavi's grasp.

"So why did ya want it anyways?" Lavi scratched the back of his head.

"I'm not telling you!" she giggled evilly. Lavi shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the couch, but he noticed the rather big pink bloomers on the floor and picked them up. "Hehe hey Cross, are theses your panties?"

"Fuck no, those came out of bookman's drawer and they ain't his either"

"Ooh, I haven't see these before" Lavi brought them close to his face, stretching and analysing them. "How do ya know they aren't his?" he questioned, keeping his gaze on the pink undergarments.

"The name is sewn on, read the name and you'll have a heart attack" Cross stated. Lavi peered closely until he spotted the neatly threaded name, "Hey! Well what do ya know, there is a name on it! It says…." he squinted his eyes. "Whhaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!" his eyes grew wide, "Leverriere?!" he chocked. "Ho-ho, I do not. Want. To. Know." he flicked the bloomers as far away as possible.

There was sounds of movement coming from the cupboard. "Hehehe, should I check on em?" Lavi giggled. "They must be done by now"

"You think their done? How about I check on them as I can walk through furniture" Teidoll suggested. "How exciting Mary! Both our boys have grown up!"

"Yeah, yeah whatever" Cross deadpanned. Tiedoll walked toward the cupboard and put his head through the cupboard wall, "Oops! Sorry Yu-Chan! Sorry Allen-Kun!" he took his head out as the two were still in a very suggestive position. His face was redder than a tomato. The two in the cupboard stopped and stared, they had the absolute living shits scared out of them.

_"AAHHHHHHHasdfghjkl"_ Allen jumped, flailing whilst scrambling on top of Kanda, turning pale as his soul was leaving him.

_"FUCKSHITMOTHERFUCKINGFUCK?!"_ Kanda jolted, head butting Allen in the process, both falling inside the cupboard with a large thud.

All of them on the couch listened intently, all now taking some popcorn. The voices came again from within the cupboard.

_"Is it gone?"_ Allen could be heard half whispering.

_"What the FUCK was that?"_

_"W-was that Teidoll?!"_

_"Don't be fucking stupid, Teidoll my ass"_ Kanda spat.

Said Teidoll's head poked through the wall of the closet again, "Oh Yu-Chan! Allen-Kun! Did you hurt yourselves? Oh dear! Is that position even healthy son?!"

And that was it, both Kanda and Allen scrambled inside the cupboard to try and get out, "AAHHHHHH LET ME OUT!" Allen screamed, banging with both fists on the door. "FUCK what the FUCK! Open the door"

"It's dark in here! Where's the fucking knob!" Kanda shouted.

"This cupboard is officially haunted!" Allen began hyperventilating. Flailing uncontrollably hitting Kanda in the face. "Stop fucking squirming!" he finally reached out for the door handle and shook it viciously. The two jolted out of the cupboard for their life, scrambling to pull their boxers up in a haste as they did so. Lavi nearly chocked on popcorn from laughing to hard at their terrified and confused expressions. Also the fact Allen was limping out of the cupboard.

The two were oblivious to the audience on the couch. Once the two stopped freaking out, they paused as they saw the rest of their "roommates" all seated near the couch pissing themselves.

The two went completely red in the face, although Kanda's was a mix of anger and embarrassment. "T-Teidoll! It is you?! we…um…O God" Allen stuttered, too embarrassed to even talk as he spotted the older man standing hear the others.

"Wooohooo, Teidoll caught ya in the act" Lavi whistled. "Oh-ho Yu-Chan, you aren't going to be able to live this one down!"

"Yu-Chan! Sorry for ruining your happy time with Allen-Kun!" Teidoll apologised. "It's been weeks since you last called, how are you?" he brought the two in a very tight embrace. "Why didn't you tell me you had the hotties for Allen here?!"

"Che, none of your business, what in fuck's name are you doing here and how did your head go through the cupboard? and will you let go of me" he deadpanned.

"Oh come on Yu-Chan! You know you love my hugs and it is my business, and I don't know why I'm here!"

"What the fu-"

"Language Yu! How are you Allen-Kun!" Teidoll smiled warm-heartedly, letting go before turning to his son's newly discovered lover.

"U-uh, fine thanks" Allen replied. Teidoll pinched his cheeks, "Oh Mary, he's so cute! My Yu is so lucky!" everyone sweat dropped. "So uh, how did you get here and why are you wearing…a bath towel?" Allen cleared his throat.

Five minutes went by, during which he explained what had happened. "So, I don't even know how I got here, so I'm pretty much me, but my week old self…something is definitely off. Hehe! Oh Yu, your all grown up! Kids these days grow up so quickly Mary!"

"You. Saw. Nothing. Got it?" Kanda interrupted, turning his head to the side to cover his small blush.

"Aw Yu-Chan aren't you just adorable! Don't be like that son! I wouldn't have looked if Lavi didn't suggest it, plus, I'm so happy for you! Wait until Marie and Daisya hear about this!"

"O my fucking god" his eye twitched. "Wait, did you say usagi?"

Lavi sunk into the couch, all eyes turned on him. A fiery aura of death surrounded both Kanda and Allen, both eyes glowing red like demons. Lavi gulped, "Aha…" Kanda cracked his knuckles.

"Your death will be slow and painful, prepare to meet your demise" Allen hissed before laughing evilly.

"U-uh A-allen?"

"Heh, I'll second that" Kanda glared.

"Oh Mary! Your wearing a thong? What happened to the knickers?" Teidoll exclaimed. Everyone stared at the general, both Kanda and Allen stopped in mid air from attacking the red head. Lavi had been saved yet again.

"What? You know he wears knickers?" Road intervened.

"Of course I do!" he replied. Everyone held a questionable expression.

"Yeah I'm wearing a thong, the rabbit is still wearing my fucking knickers! That's why I'm not wearing em" Cross stated.

"Well, I lost my pair" Teidoll sighed.

Everyone turned their heads in unison toward the man in the bath towel. "You wear fucking knickers as well?!" Kanda snapped. "I don't even want to know…"

"We had a meeting once with Leverrier and he said that the science department, well Komui, had invented something knew to protect us from Akuma bullets."

"I can't remember half of that meeting" Cross deadpanned.

"That's because you fell asleep through half of it" Teidoll shook his head. "Anyway, Johnny came in with a box and put it in front of Leverrier on the table. He then opened the box and gave us all a package from the box. Everyone opened it to reveal pink bloomers."

"What?! They gave all of the generals a pair of pink bloomers?" Allen gaped.

"They're not just any old panties, they are…bullet proof." Teidoll stated.

"Bullet proof bloomers, oh yes, liking the sound of that. I gotta get me some of those!" Lavi butted in.

"And the thing is…..Leverrier designed them" Everyone cocked an eyebrow. "Oh Mary, I remember you being totally against them! But when you tried them on, you couldn't resist!"

"Am I hearing correctly…..Leverrier, the asshole with an oak tree up his ass, the one that nobody likes, that sonofabitch, that incomprehensible bastard. Gave out pink. PINK. Bullet proof Bloomers?!" Allen continued to gape.

"Yes actually, and they are unusually comfy" Teidoll complied. "And super effective"

"Hey Tykki!" Lavi whispered, nudging him in the side.

"What is it" Tykki half whispered, turning to the red head.

"Maybe they have this oldman buttsex conspiracy they're trying to cover up" Lavi giggled.

Tykki choked on his popcorn, "Jesus….o god, I am trying to eat here!" he cleared his throat. "Oh, by the way" Tykki grinned. "Your back to normal now"

"Hehe, I sure am" Lavi bounced. "Just what are you implying" Lavi smirked, wriggling his eyebrows.

"Wanna go to the bathroom, no one can disturb us there" he whispered into Lavi's ear, making him shiver.

"Tykki you naughty boy" Lavi winked discreetly. "I'm sure they wouldn't notice if we were gone for about half an hour" The two stood up and walked casually went to the kitchen in order to get to the bathroom. Everyone else were too tied up in conversation on bloomers and stuff to notice the two leave stealthily. But little did they notice, Road had overheard and had ninja'd out of the room, following them with her cam recorder in hand.

Meanwhile, the other's were still deep in conversation. "So, anything strange happen before hand"

"Well, I'm sure it's nothing but…Lenalee was acting rather odd. Um…that's all I can think about" Allen sighed.

"Lenalee? What do you mean?" Teidoll questioned.

"Well, she wasn't acting like herself, more turbulent, angry and aggressive. But I don't think that would have anything to do with it"

"Yeah, maybe not. Hmmm how interesting. These strange turn of events are rather peculiar" Teidoll rubbed his chin while he thought. Cross sighed and sat on the couch, only to spot a small bottle on the floor.

He stealthily shifted his eyes to see if anyone else had spotted it, but no one had. He bent down and picked it up. "The fuck is this? It must have been chucked out of Bookman's drawer when the rabbit went rummaging for the cam recorder. He squinted his eyes, the label read "Truth serum" _oh hell yah, when it's time for food, don't mind if I accidently drop some of it in. This'll be fucking entertaining. I'll ask the questions and they'll answer._

"Hey Bakanda, I'm going to take a shower" Allen sighed. "You coming?"

"Yeah whatever, there are two showers anyway" Kanda complied.

* * *

**Wew, there's a whole lot going on e.e this chapter had a bit more plot development as well:)**

**So yeah! there it is, I wasn't sure about this chapter:/ please tell me if you get confused or something! Thank you to the people who favourite, follow, review and read:D**

**Some of the review made me lolXD I love you guys so much!~O3O~**


	13. Chapter 13 Yaoi heaven

**I am really sorry for being late! but I have family around and a lot of shit has happened;_;**

**There are like no words to describe this chapter...O.O...I swear. But I hope you enjoy itXD onto the story~**

* * *

Meanwhile, Tykki and Lavi burst through the bathroom door and began viciously making out, totally forgetting to lock the door. Lavi pounced on top of the Noah, wrapping his legs around the other's waist, while Tykki pressed Lavi against the wall before trailing his hands downward to grope his ass.

The rabbit moaned as the Noah attacked his neck, devouring him like some loved treat. "warning, I am a sex god" Lavi grinned, nipping playfully at the other's ear.

"Oh are you now, well, here's a warning, I'm the Noah of pleasure" Tykki smirked

"Hehe, well show me what you've got, less talk, more action"

"You have no idea on how sexy you sound right now" Tykki forcefully pinned Lavi to the wall, The two began ferociously making out, both battling for dominance. The Noah began stumbling towards the door with the rabbit still latched to him, the closeness creating amazing friction.

In the meantime Road tiptoed toward the bathroom door, cam recorder in hand. She cackled evilly as her fingers curled around the gap in the door to get a peek of some potential smexy action in the room.

All she got a glimpse of was Lavi's ass advancing in her direction "Eh?" the door snap shut on her fingers. "fuck!" she yelped, clamping her free hand over her mouth to muffle the sound, she managed to pull her fingers free, flailing them about while biting her lip in anger and frustration "fucking shitsticks!" she hissed under her breath. The two paused, Lavi pushed up against the now shut door. "Hey, did you hear something?" Lavi whispered.

Tykki paused for a moment, "nope." The two just shrugged it off and continued. "Tykki babe, this is way to slow!" Lavi smirked, wriggling his eyebrows and grabbed Tykki's arm, dragging him off into one of the cubicles with a shower.

Road tried again, only this time she heard approaching footsteps from behind. She dashed into one of the nearest kitchen cupboards, peeking out through a slit in the door. "Fucking hell, how many times were we fucking interrupted?" Kanda scowled, entering the kitchen. "And Teidoll, fucking Teidoll, God fucking damnit"

"I think three or more times?" Allen huffed, stretching his arms behind his neck as he entered after the Bluenette. "You didn't have to try those positions you know!" Allen snapped, blushing slightly.

"Che, I didn't hear you complaining" Kanda smirked, crossing his arms. "You are so fucking loud by the way"

"Bakanda! S-shut up, I was uh…caught up in the moment! But I didn't think we were going to get caught! And oh god, when he saw us!" He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "And I wasn't _that_ loud".

_Hurry up and ravish me!~_

The two paused, Kanda raised an eyebrow at the equally mortified bean sprout. The two crept toward the door. Allen placed his ear against the hard wood.

"Perverted Moyashi"

"Shut up" Allen continued to listen in, before yanking the older teen's arm so that he was at the whitette's level with his head against the door. "If we want a shower, we don't want to walk in on anyone if they aren't in a cubicle" Allen whispered.

"So your going to listen to potential fucking? How can you tell if they're in a cubicle or not?"

"Shhh! I don't know! Just! arrgh! I just don't want to walk in on whoever is in there! Who do you think is in there with Lavi, because I'm pretty sure that was Lavi's voice"

"Che, I bet it's Usagi and the Noah" Kanda replied in an angered half whisper. "And they just had to pick the fucking bathroom"

"EH? You really think so?" Allen blinked twice. "Lavi and Tykki?"

_You are one sexy rabbit~_

"They could have been a bit quieter…" Allen sweat dropped. Kanda looked more than pissed, he needed shower time, no one shits up his shower time. Kanda stood up abruptly, startling Allen. "Baka! What do you think your doing?!" Allen struggled to whisper.

"Che, They could have picked a better time and place" Kanda scowled, Before turning the knob of the door. Allen scrambled for the door knob, " You're one to talk!" Allen hissed, with his hands over the Bluenette's.

Without warning, Kanda turned the door and flung it open, only to be greeted by pink fluffy bloomers flying at him at frikin' sixty miles per hour, hitting him in the face. Kanda snarled before peeling them off. Allen put both hands over his mouth to stifle his laughter.

_Work it work it! Oh yesssss!~_

Before Allen could continue laughing, something hit him square in the face making him fall backwards on his ass. Kanda smirked, as Allen peeled off grey boxers off his own face. Allen grimaced at the undergarments before flicking them away, shooting a glare at the Bluenette, "Not funny!" he struggled to whisper.

_That's right! Just like that! Ooooooooh yeah!_

The two could hear the shower being turned on. The water crashing down on the hard floor was very loud. The duo couldn't hear anything outside the cubicle now, as they were too tied up in their actions to notice. So they continued, oblivious to the other two standing awkwardly by the door.

Allen scratched the back of his head, "I really need a shower, but I think we should wait"

"Oh hell no, I'm not waiting for them to finish. I need a shower, I'm taking the last cubicle" Kanda stated before walking in.

Allen really did need a shower after what they have been doing in the cupboard, but noticed the two already in the bathroom had taken one of the showers. "Oi Moyashi, you coming?" Kanda smirked deviously. Allen rolled his eyes, giving in. This was going to be as awkward as heck, so he thought. Allen entered in after the Bluenette, both stripping down. Allen turned on the water, startling the other two in the cubicle.

Lavi was pinned against the cold wall with Tykki looming over him, both stopping, both breathing erratically as their heads turned to the cubicle next to them. The rabbit smirked as he had a faint idea as to who it may be.

Allen watched the hot steam surround himself and the bluenette in front of him. That hot water trickling down his muscles, his long sexy hair, the general sexy aura around him in general made Allen go wild.

He subconsciously bit his lip. "Moyashi, liking what you see?" Kanda smirked, snapping Allen out of his daze. Allen only smirked and leaned in closer to the other. "Want to finish what we started?" Allen whispered into the other's ear_. Omgomgomg! I can't believe I said that! But DAYMN do I want this!_

"Not so innocent after all" Kanda side smirked before pinning the whitette to the wall. Lavi grinned as he propped his head over the cubicle, looking down at the other two. "Whohoa! Well look at you two, where the hell is the popcorn and cam recorder when you need em'!"

"Lavi?!" Allen huffed. "Do you mind, way to go and ruin the mood!"

"Hehe, sorry couldn't help it" The red head grinned, crossing his arms over the top of the cubicle.

"Usagi, mind your own business and go back to screwing your Noah bitch" Kanda deadpanned, keeping his Moyashi in place against the wall.

"Will do Yu-Chan, will do. Wait. Aha so…You know about us?!"

"We could hear you fucking like there was no tomorrow-"

"Bakanda! You weren't exactly um… quiet" Allen cleared his throat. "Don't worry Lavi, we won't say anything. But I hope you know what your getting into."

"Tykki, it's cool, they know now" Lavi stated. Tykki jumped up, propping his head and arms over the top of the cubicle next to the flushed red head. "This will be our little secret, promise you won't tell?" all eyes turned to the Bluenette.

"Che, fine, I won't"

"Aw Yu-Chan! Thanks a million!" Lavi laughed, now relieved. "Oh, if we are a bit loud, just try and ignore us. I mean, if you two were going at it and were rather loud that would motivate me actually-"

"Lavi!"

"Hehe, sorry, I tend to go off on one. Anyway, ehem, will you excuse us. We were in the middle of something" Lavi grinned at the Noah next to him. The Noah, jumped down before pulling the red head after him.

"Where were we"

"Ho-ho, let's start where we left off baby!" The two continued their ministrations, The other two started to get rather heated, although they would pause when they heard the odd, _"Ooooohhh yeeaaahhh riiiight there! Faster damnit! _or _Don't stop! Aaahhhhhh! _Because it was such a mood ruiner. But as things spiced up, hell, the sounds were a major turn on.

Road came out of her hiding place and stealthily made it to the bathroom door. She crouched a little before placing her ear against the hard wood. "Muahaha! This time I'm going to get my Yaoi material and no one can stop me!" she cackled evilly.

"THE EARL HAS BURNT ALL OF YOUR YAOI TAPES!" Cross projected as he entered the room, making Road jump out of her skin.

"BITCH ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME AND EFFING HEART ATTACK!" Road shouted.

"HAHA Just wanted to see your reaction. Look's like you were up to something. By the way you reacted, it just proves my point bitch. So what's so interesting that you have to inconspicuously put your ear to the door"

"HA! And why should I tell you?~"

"You are just begging to get dick slapped, I swear I shall unsheathe this baby-"

"GUH, I am trying to listen in on hot yaoi here!"

* * *

"Scooch over, I wanna listen too" Cross deadpanned, nudging Road out the way as he placed his ear against the door.

"Baka! I got here first!" Road retorted, flailing in frustration behind the vibrant red head.

"Pipe down bitch and go make me a sandwich!"

"HELL NAW, Go make yaw own daymn sandwich!"

"How long have they been going at it, do ya think it's a foursome or something?" he continued to listen, while attempting to light another cigar.

"OOhh! Foursome, now THAT would make my day!" Road fangirled almost instantly, still trying to battle for limited door space. "I think ten minutes, not that long" she whispered.

_More! Ahhhhh fasstteerrrAAHHHHHH!_

"Foursome is fucking awesome, whatever they're doing sounds like they're doing it right "

"How the hell would you know they're doing it right?"

"Bitch, do you know who I am, womanizing pro, master of all positions, hound dog who can smell sex from a mile away. I've done this hundreds of times and I know a good fuck when I hear one"

_NNNNGGGGGHHHH!_

"Ok, now that sounded like one of them took a shit" Cross scratched his head, before noticing his beloved knickers on the floor. "AHA! Gotcha!"

"OOOh, they're so pretty and pink, I WANT THEM" Road leaped on top of them.

"HELL TO THE FUCKING NO, UNHAND THOSE KNICKERS BITCH" Cross bellowed, jumping on top of Road.

"They look like girls undies anyway! THEY ARE MINE NOW!" she demanded, clutching them tightly to her bosom. Cross managed to grab onto one side, but she had a firm grip onto the other side. Both having a tug of war. "You and I are now mortal enemies" Road's eye twitched.

"You BITCHFUCKINGASSCUNT we ARE mortal fucking enemies." he stated, both having a glaring competition. "Your asking for war motherfucka" he growled, squinting his eyes.

"BRING IT ON" she hissed, getting into the other's face. Cross grabbed a random banana (those fuckers come out of nowhere, I swear) and flung it at her face but it hit her in the boobs instead, making them wobble uncontrollably like two pots of jello. Road hissed before throwing her shoe back at Cross,

But he managed to dodge it like a pro. Cross then spotted the laundry basket next to him on his left and kicked the bucket into Road, letting the dirty laundry fall over her. Road flailed as a pair of Bookan's dirty boxers flopped onto her face. "OMGOMGOMGOMG GET IT OFF! CROSS YOU BASTARD!" she seethed. "OH GOD IT BURNNNSSS!"

Cross took this fine opportunity to go claim those perfect sexy bloomers, but before he could. Road had latched onto his leg bringing him down onto the floor. "Get of ma leg yah bitch!" he retorted.

He scrambled onto his front and army crawled to get away from the satanic Noah. Road pounced on top of him and the two began wrestling. The two stopped their action, as a few meters away laid the bloomers, both pairs of eyes on them. The two jumped and grabbed the pair at the same time.

"LET GO OF MY FUCKING BLOOMERS, OR I SHALL UNSHEATHE MY MIGHTY DICK AND SLAP YOUR BITCH ASS FACE, I SHALL SHIT ON YOU AND MAKE YOU EAT IT, COMPRENDE." He glared, tugging at the pink undergarments aggressively to his side.

"HAHAHAHAHA…NO, I DON'T SEE YOUR NAME WRITTEN ON THEM DIPSHIT, SO THEY ARE MINE NOW. BITCH, I WILL THROW THAT SHIT BACK AT YOU AND MAKE _YOU_ EAT IT." She glared evilly, before tugging the bloomers to her side.

"LISTEN HERE YOU CUNTASS DOUCHEFUCK, YOUR UNHOLY PRESENCE IS ALREADY FUCKING UP THE MATERIAL, I WILL SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE, AND YOU WILL LOOK SO UGLY THAT YOUR FACE WOULD PUT, THE EARL NAKED, TO SHAME." he smirked.

"OOOHHH, YAW GOING DOWN, I'M GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR PRECIOUS DICK AND JAM IT UP YOUR BUTTFUCKED ASS SO HARD YOUR GONNA WISH YOU HAD NEVER MESSED WITH _THIS_ BITCH!" She shouted, pulling hard on the material. The tension built up from the constant pulling was stretching as the two fought for the pair, but with one more aggressive tug the two could hear a "rriiiippppp"

"OOOOH NO YOU FUCKING DIDN'T. YOU ASK FOR IT" he seethed, before Road could say something, she got dick-slapped big time.

"EWEWEWEW! you just dick-slapped me! THAT'S JUST EW AND DISGUSTING AND EW AND WHERE IS MY SANITIZER OMG I CAN'T EVEN" she flailed on the floor, having some kind of spasm.

"Look's like I won this round, mess with ma bloomers, you mess with me" Cross smirked, crossing his arms looking rather pleased with himself. He bent down and picked up the slightly torn bloomers. "Pfftt, these are suppose to be bullet proof. I guess they are not tear proof. Fucking science department" he began walking back toward the lounge in the haste before shouting the place down. "WHERE THE FUCK IS A SEWING MACHINE, I NEED A FUCKING SEWING MACHINE RIGHT NOW."

"I WILL GET YOU BACK CROSS, JUST YOU WAIT!" Road warned, twitching her eye. She was going to get her revenge soon. Cross had now left the room, so she ninja'd back toward the bathroom. She giggled quietly as she wrapped her hand around the handle and the door clicked open. She was totally going to get some rather hot steamy footage, oh yes.

Meanwhile in the lounge, Teidoll had been doing some spring cleaning, "Oh Mary! What have you boys been doing in here! This place is a mess!"

Cross plopped onto the sofa after giving up on looking for a sewing machine, "A lot of shit has happened, that's what. When I get out of here, I'm gonna find my sexy babe Claud so she can jog up my labido"

"You do that Mary! Oh, and what do you eat around here? I could cook up some dinner" Teidoll exclaimed. "Do you even have enough food around here?"

"We just eat whatever is in the fucking kitchen. Seems like we're gonna run out soon. Sure, if you can cook we could probably have a decent meal"

"I'll get right to it then" Teidoll went to the kitchen and walked toward the fridge. "Mary! I thought you said you were running out of food! The fridge is full!"

"THE FUCK?" he stood up and paced toward the fridge, and yes, the food was exactly how it was the day they actually got stuck in the room. "Now that is some scary ass shit."

Ten minutes later and Teidoll was already cooking up some pasta. Cross walked over, took a fork and scooped some of the pasta into his mouth. "Needs seasoning" he grinned as he poured the contents of the bottle he found earlier into the meal.

"Mary? What was that?"

"Just something that'll give it a kick" he replied, before walking back toward the lounge. Meanwhile, in the bathroom. Road was currently dying from blood-loss, she found herself a perfect spot above the air vent and had a very clear view over both cubicles. She watched and filmed for about ten minutes, capturing it all before the four finally decided to stop their hot smex.

Road had to nosebleed and fan girl squeal into her dress, this was just too hot.

The sexy quartette came out of the cubicles one by one, hot steam filled the air. Totally adding to the level of freaking smexy. Lavi was the first out, his cheeks red with fiery lust, dat towel only hanging off his hips, the well built torso and the sexy erotic swish of his vibrant wet hair. _OOoooh yesssss work it work it! do it for the cam baby!_

Hot daymn did this look like a frikin' sex commercial on cam. Tykki was the next out, His well built frame next to the rabbit's, he too with a towel over his lower half. His cheeks tinted red from all the smexy steamy atmosphere in the room. The erotic motion in which he pulled his dark sleek hair back. And omg did he just bite his lip. _Tykki-Pon that was HOT! _

Next out was Allen. As soon as he stood outside of the cubicle, he instantly swished his hair. She was going to die right there. His well built, lean torso, shimmering in the steamy water vapour. His bright red cheeks, screaming sex. And oh hell _DID HE JUST SMIRK?! SOASDFGHJKLFUCKING HOT! OMGOMG! Calm down Road! BREATHE, DON'T FORGET TO BREATH!_

And Lastly, Kanda made his way out of the cubicle next to the bean sprout. And hell, dat hair swish beats all sexy hair swishes. That well built torso, holy shiiiiiitt does he work out! His cheeks were matching all of the others' in the room, red, flustered and SMEXY. Holy! Did he just playfully bite Allen's earlobe! _OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT IS SO FUCKING HOT I CAN'T EVEN ASDFGHJKL._

Her gaze turned to all of them, _SO MANY ABS IN ONE ROOM! SO MUCH SMEX IN ONE ROOM! CALM DOWN ROAD OMG. SOOOOOOO HOOOOOTTT! AND I CAUGHT IT ALL ON FUCKING FLIM! _And to top it off, Kanda smirked before pulling on Allen's towel, making it drop to the ground. And she saw everything. _AAAAANNNNND SHIT. THERE GO MY OVARIES. _She passed out on top of the air vent with a quiet *poooof*

"Hey, did ya hear something?" Lavi asked.

"Your probably just hearing things Lavi." Allen replied, shooting a glare at his lover as he wrapped himself back in his towel.

"Yeah, your probably right" Lavi scratched his head. "Hell yes, that was some hot ass, kinky bathroom sex we had there"

"Great observation. Stating the fucking obvious" Kanda deadpanned.

"Well that was an awesome experience" Tykki smirked, snaking his arm around the red head's waist."Wouldn't mind doing it again"

"Ho-ho, I like your thinking" Lavi wriggled his eyebrows. "we would make such smexy yaoi tapes just FYI" Lavi sighed. "Can you imagine how hot we must have looked on film?"

"Lavi, just no…well now that I think about it, THANK GOD there are no cameras or CCTV in here." Allen stated, looking around the room.

"Haha! If there were CCTV in here, they would take the part where Kanda swishes his long hair and put it in a girls shampoo advert for pantenne or L'Oreal " he giggled, only to gulp when he felt a similar aura of doom behind him. Kanda cracked his knuckles, "The FUCK did you just say, I dare you to fucking repeat it"

"Aha…nothing, come on Yu-Chan! There are no cameras in here anyways! So your safe" Lavi laughed nervously, only for him to sprint out of the bathroom, struggling to run as the towel kept falling down. The stubborn teen sprinting after him, clutching tightly at his own towel. Both running past Teidoll in the Kitchen. "Play nicely you two!"

Allen face palmed and Tykki just sighed. The two walked out of the bathroom after them.

* * *

Everyone was fully clothed now, as it was getting cooler with the night approaching. Everyone was seated in the lounge, Cross taking up the couch, obviously. Lavi was seated in bookman's desk chair, Tykki was seated next to Road (who surprisingly wasn't caught, she managed to escape the bathroom without being seen…lucky bitch) on the floor with their back's against the wall. And both Allen and Kanda were seated cross-legged on the floor next to each other. Teidoll began handing out the bowls of ready made pasta to everyone.

"Che no soba?" Kanda questioned, glaring at the bowl before him.

"Sorry Yu-Kun, but there is more pasta than soba, it was easier to cook one big meal as there was enough pasta for all of you" he smiled, patting his "son" on the head. Kanda swatted his hand away. "Eat up, you need your nutrients!"

"I'm not a fucking child" he glared long and hard at the general.

Teidoll blinked twice, "….ppffttBUAHAHAHAHA"

Kanda frowned further. "WHAT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY?!"

"AHAHAHAHAHA...oh Yu-Kun! Your adorable, really. Always making the face as if you were constipated…AHAHAHAHAHA, Oh, goodness I'm crying, woo." he wiped the tears of laughter. Kanda just muttered words about "killing things" or "decapitation"

Everyone started eating, two minutes went by and every one had eaten enough to satisfy Cross, his lip curled into a smirk.

"Hey she-male, what positions did you and my apprentice use?"

"SHISHOU! What kind of question is that?!" Allen blushed. Everyone stopped breathing and turned to the Bluehaired teen. _Well of course he's not going to tell, seriously Shishou, you've got to learn-_

"The Doggy" Kanda spoke in a very monotone voice. He stopped eating, his eyes going wide as to what he just said.

Everyone in the room was gaping, Teidoll was blushing, Lavi burst out laughing, road and Tykki held up interested and excited expressions and Allen started chocking on a piece of pasta, Lavi started whacking on his back, making Allen wheeze and cough the thing up.

Kanda sat there trying to think of something to say, instead he was sputtering like a goldfish.

"You weren't suppose to tell everyone that?!" Allen blushed again.

"I didn't WANT to tell them that!…it just came out?!"

Cross was gonna have a lot of fun with this, "What other positions did you and the she-male use?" Cross grinned evilly, this time asking Allen the question.

"The Butterfly" Allen announced, as if it were something ordinary as the weather. This time Kanda was the one to start chocking. Allen blushed bright scarlet at what he just said.

"Oh my God…FORGET I EVER SAID THAT!" he stuttered, he began swatting Kanda on the back to help him breathe again.

"Whoah!, check you guys out!" Lavi grinned. "Quite exotic in the positions department I see" he winked mischievously.

Cross randomly burst out in laughter. "I found some truth serum and put it in all of your meals, that's why I didn't eat any. So all of you can't Lie bitches" he smirked evilly. _Now this should entertain me for a bit._

Everyone stared at their bowls, then back at everyone else in the room. "Now who's secrets shall I find out about first" he laughed like frikin' Satan. Everyone in the room looked absolutely terrified. But before Cross could start, Bak- Chan came through a wall and casually walked into the kitchen and started making some tea.

Everyone's expression: O_O

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**The fuuuuuck did I just write? I don't even know... shits gonna get weirderXD**

**Thank you for everyone who review, favourite, follow and read my story! thanks for sticking with me!^^!**

**But please tell me if it sucks, I don't mind constructive criticism:)**


	14. Chapter 14 Q&A

**Hi guys:3 Well, you have my total permission to kick my ass up the roofXD I'm so sorry for the rather late update, but it's getting trickier to find time to write as I'm tied up in exams, other stories I might post, life and other shit T.T this chapter didn't go the way I wanted it... I think it's a bit crappy and shorter than my other chapters, I hope it doesn't disappoint you:/...ah well. Enough with my rambling and onto the storyX3~**

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Bak had slowly taken a purple mug out of the side satchel he was wearing and put it on top of the counter next to the kettle. Lavi pointed at the wall he came through and then toward Bak, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"Bak? What's he doing in here? When…why…how?" The rest just plain stared long and hard at the Chief of the Indian Branch, all faces trying to asses the situation as the blonde didn't appear to notice anyone in the room, was it another illusion?

"Say, what do you think he's up to?" Road whispered, peering her head around the door to get a better glimpse.

"Well, with the freaky grin he's wearing now, maybe up to no good?" Lavi suggested, keeping his voice toned down to a quiet whisper. Said Bak-Chan inconspicuously turned his head over his shoulder as if to scan the area for anyone who maybe watching.

Then turned back, satisfied that he was alone in the room, he brought his hand up toward the kitchen cupboard above him and began looking for something in particular. Every now and again he would look behind him to make sure no one was watching. Everyone concluded, yep, he was definitely up to something.

Allen had recognised something in the picture before him, but just couldn't figure out what it was. "Ne Lavi, he's probably an illusion, I don't think he's like Teidoll, he hasn't noticed us at all" he brushed it off with another clear observation.

"Yeah, I think your right. Hey, From what I know it should of only have been me, the old panda and Cross who knew about this room" he scratched his head. "Even Lenalee doesn't know it exists, so to know Bak-Chan knows about it, is a mystery" Lavi sighed, all their gazes returned back to the illusion.

Bak had rummaged through the cupboard in what seemed to be a very quick haste, looking at his wrist watch every now and then. He bit his lip as he couldn't seem to find what he was looking for at all. He paused to think for a small while.

After what seemed to be a few seconds, he ran over to Bookman's desk and began rummaging through a drawer, he dug deep through papers and letters, trying to be very careful to not mess anything up. Once he reached the bottom, he found what he was looking for. Everyone watched him bring out a little black bottle, now this was familiar indeed.

"Hey, isn't that the dreams potion?" Tykki squinted his eyes. "I thought that got all broken when it fell on the floor?"

"Yeah your right, what's he doin' with that?" Lavi focused on the sight before him, rubbing his chin in thought.

Bak ran to the kitchen and opened the little bottle, plopping three drops of the clear liquid into the mug of hot, ready made tea. He stirred the contents with a small spoon before wrapping his hand around the handle, lifting it up.

He scanned his surroundings again to make sure he wasn't going to get caught, then tiptoed through the closed door, exiting the room. Once that happened, a light bulb went off in Allen's head. _That mug….isn't that Lenalee's? _he tried to remember hard as to when he saw it last.

_When did I last see it? Maybe she brought it to the cafeteria once? No_… Allen's eyes widened as he had a flashback of the day get got locked in, _"Don't worry about it Allen, I just don't feel myself today, someone must of put something in my tea as I was fine yesterday, like my emotions and everything else have been amplified." _Holy Shit…

Everyone else just blinked twice. "The hell was that all about?" Cross started, looking down at the cup of wine in his hand, thinking it was the alcohol's fault.

"I have no idea, why would he put dreams potion into a cup of tea? Is It for himself? Or…Oooh, he's gonna drug someone! He is one sneaky evil little thing"

"Did" Allen corrected.

"Eh? What do you mean?" Lavi blinked, the others turning their gaze to the whitette, awaiting his answer.

"He did drug someone, if the illusions are based on the past. It means he has already done the deed" Allen cleared his throat, "And I think I know who's tea that was"

Everyone leaned in closer, "Who's is it? And how do ya know he drugged the person?" Lavi questioned further.

"Well, that mug is definitely Lenalee's, remember when I was kicking your asses in the corridor and she opened the door. After her out-burst, she mentioned something about her tea. Plus, the tea was the only thing she had consumed that morning, and that was definitely her mug"

"Real funny Allen-Chan" Lavi patted his head, "I'm pretty sure I was the one doin' the ass kicking" Lavi corrected, pointing to himself.

"No. I'm sure that both your asses were mine" Kanda stated, turning to the two.

"Hehe, the sexual innuendo in that…" Lavi laughed, only to be hammer-fisted at the back of his head.

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE" Cross announced, gathering everyone's attention again. "It's question time….MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Everyone paled, "Alllleeeenn, ne allen" Lavi nudged Allen's side, his face filled with equal amounts of horror. "How did you put up with him, that _thing_ is Satan"

"This is nothing, when he gets high on tequila…. One word: Apocalypse " Allen whispered back, biting his lip in anticipation. Hell, even Kanda was terrified. Everyone seemed to back away slowly, making themselves as small as possible, hoping they wouldn't get asked a question. Cross's eyes darted around the room before they landed on his apprentice. Allen got instant goose bumps.

"Alrighty shit apprentice, I could almost swear I heard a good fuck in there" He smirked. "My senses told me it turned into a full blown foursome, am I right?"

"Yes" his eyes widened, "MOTHER. OF. GOD." he face palmed big time. "Cross you bastard." he really did try to lie, but it just wasn't working, everyone could almost swear they saw horns poking out of Allen's head.

"Who got it up the ass?" Cross projected over Allen's wining. "AND I WANT DETAILS"

"All of us…" Allen answered reluctantly, earning incredulous expressions from everyone in the room at how easy he answered the question. "When Kanda was doing me, Lavi and Tykki got bored and decided to join in, hell knows how that happened!

All I remember is Tykki surprising Kanda from behind while he was pounding my ass, the face he made was priceless!" Allen continued to describe the scene. "Oh! Then Lavi jumped Tykki from behind, and started on him like some vibrating Chihuahua!" The other three who partook in the foursome scratched their heads and cleared their throats.

"AND THAT IS HOW IT'S DONE…..did you use any toys, kinks?" Cross questioned further.

"WHAT! NO?!….why would there be TOYS like THAT in a place like THIS?!…" Allen twitched his eye, motioning his hands in the air with each syllable dramatically.

"Well! Ya never know, Bookman sure does have a hell of a lot-"

"Don't wanna know!" Allen waved his hands in front of the red-head's face. "And Shishou! Quit asking goddamn questions!"

"HAHAHAHAHA….NO, I am going to make you bitches suffer because it's entertaining so STFU"

"FUUUUUUUUUUU" Allen seethed, trying to strangle the air around him in frustration.

"Ya gotta add toys, you have no idea on what your missing out, I remember back in the day when I got involved in a good old gangbang-"

"Oh dear God, just no." Allen put his hand to his head, before running it down his face.

"Hell, when you hit the spot at the same time as everyone else it's like a chain of orgasms-"

"Oh dear lord, why are you still talking" Allen began rubbing his temples. Lavi was totally getting too interested for his own good.

"Whoahoa! I need to take notes!" he fumbled quickly for his sketch pad.

"The timing is essential to get that effect, oh yeah, and I remember that time I used a whip-"

"OOohh! A whip! What are your views on handcuffs?!" Lavi bounced, writing all the info.

"I just give up" Allen lifted both arms up in defeat. He slumped back down next to Kanda.

"Those two are too fucking similar" kanda deadpanned, watching the two in a heated conversation.

"Yeah, they could even be related" Allen agreed, also watching the other two with a similar expression.

"Fuck, I'm getting sidetracked with this necessary information, BACK TO QUESTIONING" Cross announced.

"Necessary information?! Is that what you call necessary information?! And no, we are NOT going back to questioning." Allen deadpanned, before raising an eyebrow at the two Noahs, "And are you two taking notes?!"

Tykki looked up from the little notebook he was scribbling on, scratching his head with his hand, "…he is experienced, so why waste vital information" he cleared his throat, Sliding his note pad back in his trouser pocket.

"Ooh!" Road licked the end of her pencil, "what was that about the whipped cream?"

"So, anything interesting happen to you during the act?" Cross questioned, turning to the red head.

"Haha, I accidentally poked Tykki in the eye with ma dick" Lavi laughed. "Yeah, sorry about that."

Allen nearly coughed up his lungs.

"Whahoa!? Did I really just say that aloud?! Cross ma friend, this stuff is working like a charm!" he bounced, totally unaffected by his outburst.

"_You_ nearly jabbed _me_ in the fucking eye as well, you stupid shit." Kanda hissed under his breath, "If that dick of yours shows itself in my presence again-"

"Yeah, me to! You nearly got it in my ear damnit!" Allen admitted without thinking. "Put that thing on a restraining order, or you'll blind someone!"

"Ya gotta control that thing, like seriously." Tykki deadpanned.

"Wow, everyone is admitting shit without hesitation!, Both you and Allen totally wouldn't have said that, So now we know this stuff actually works, I wanna ask some questions too!" Lavi grinned. "Ne Allen, is it true that ya fondled Miranda's boob in the cafeteria?"

Everyone snapped their heads in unison to look incredulously at the whitette.

"Yes…it was an accident though! and how the HELL did you find out!"

"Ha! Accident, so you mean to tell me it was nothing' more than boob handshake?" Cross interjected.

"Yes!…No! it was kind of both!" Allen fumbled for words.

"Is this what you do in your free time, go on a boob fondling rampage?" Kanda sneered. "What the fuck were you doing with it?"

"Komui asked me to come to his office as he said he had something special for me…but when I got there he jabbed a needle into my neck" he hissed at the memory. "After that…I felt a…little weird"

"So, why _did_ you um…feel her bazuma?" Tykki asked.

"Well…the stuff he injected me with, distorted my vision." Allen cleared his throat. The others leaned in closer. "And um, well instead of seeing Miranda's…*cough*boobs*cough* I um, saw dangos…"

"Oho, I see. So, then what happened?" Lavi pressed on.

"Well without thinking, I kind of leaped on her and….bfia..hr..bomnnasdfkl…" Allen mumbled quickly, scratching his head.

"What?" Cross questioned.

Allen cleared his throat, "I well…kind of um…bit her left boob, well…not really hard…I think…"

Kanda snickered at how ridiculously funny it sounded and how terrified the girl must have been, only for Allen to hit his side. "Not funny! She had to go to the infirmary after fainting!"

"Well she would, wouldn't she! I mean, If the great Allen Walker started sucking on ma left boob, hell!-"

"Lavi! Just EW! No! your making it sound as if I had actually sucked her damn boob!" Allen sputtered, before turning dark, "That bitch Komui it going down along with your sorry ass."

"Allen-Chan, Allen-Chan, nothing' better than healthy gossip!" he grinned, rolling up his sleeves enthusiastically.

"Fine, now I'll ask you a question! About three weeks ago, I went to the cafeteria at about eleven as I was hungry, I spotted you and Daisya peering through Jerry's kitchen ."

"What where you two doing?" Allen asked, crossing his arms as he looked at the red-head.

"Aha, so it was you! Phew we thought we were going to get caught by someone like the head nurse or something! We were just watching Jerry and Komui going at it, you totally missed out!" Lavi grinned.

"You did _WHAT." _Allen and Kanda snapped in unison.

"Can I just say that Komui is so frikin' flexible!" Lavi announced, his face distant in awe as he remembered the scene. "Oooh I'll tell ya all' about it!"

"NO, just-!"

"It was amazing when jerry decided to deep throat him near the pan he cooks soba" Lavi laughed.

"LAWD IN HEAVEN ABOVE" Allen choked, motioning a cross in front of his chest. Kanda paled slightly, but anger and mortification settled in and grabbed harshly at Lavi's top. "They. Did. What?!"

"Ho-ho, ya heard me alright! I mean, well, I'm sure nothing actually went into the pot"

"And you didn't fucking stop them?!" Kanda floored the red-head, his foot rubbing onto the other's face.

"Whhaaat? Of course not!" Lavi wined, getting further crushed under the other's boot.

"Hey, I didn't know those two were an item?" Allen interjected, trying to separate them in order to save Lavi's life; again.

"Moyashi move, I need to kill this perverted bitch" Kanda retorted, trying to swat his lover away.

"Bakanda! Not now! Kill him later after we get out of this place!" Allen fumbled in-between the two in order to split them up.

"Hey! Tykki-pon?" Road bounced, "remember that time the Earl bitch-slapped you in the face because you accidentally destroyed his bra?"

Cross spat out his drink, making it spray into Tykki. Allen, Kanda and Lavi turned in melodramatic unison. "A bra?!"

"Yeah, I remember" Tykki deadpanned.

"Whohoa! Is he must be like a double D or something!" Lavi explained, intrigued by the new topic.

"So wait…he actually wears one?" Allen whispered, getting closer to the others who now were seated on the floor apart from Cross, who was currently dominating the couch.

Tykki sighed before starting, "Yes, he does wear one because of his, well…"

"-man boobs." Lavi intervened, laying on his front with his hands under his chin as his legs kicked the empty air.

"Pfftt…Well damn, how the hell did you destroy the Earl's bra?" Cross asked, in a rather amused tone of voice.

"Ah….I put it in a sixty degree wash at his mother's house, that also destroyed one of your leather thongs…" Tykki confessed, stopping his breathing after admitting the truth. Cross stared long and hard into the very soul of the Noah.

"You're the one who has been stealing all of my fucking thongs?" he grit his teeth.

"…yes"

"…The Earl has a mother?" Allen questioned, breaking the tense atmosphere.

"Shut up" Cross spat.

"Hey! Why don't I get a say in this?"

"Because you insignificant" the general deadpanned, returning to glare at the Noah. "Oh, so was it you who stole my parachute pants too?" he scowled at the golden eyed enemy.

"No, that was not me" Tykki glared back.

"Was it you, shit apprentice?" he turned to Allen, "If so, may god have mercy on your soul"

"Say What?! No! I didn't steal your stupid…parachute pants?!" Allen retorted, "Wait…just what."

"What? Is there a problem that I like to dance to 'MC Hammer, can't touch this' from time to time?"

"Um…no…" Allen just backed away slowly.

"Say Yu-Chan" Lavi grinned evilly, "I have two questions to ask you!"

"N to the fucking O, don't you dare ask me anything" Kanda warned, grasping the front of Lavi's top.

"Were you the one who stole Cross's parachute pants?"

"Of Course…" The word 'not' would not come out no matter how hard he tried. "…yes" he scowled, "You are so fucking dead."

Everyone in the room raised eyebrows at the pissed off bluenette. "Um…why did you steal his parachute pants?" Allen asked, baring a rather estranged expression.

"Che, they were in the laundry basket and looked comfortable."

Lavi struggled to hide the giggles, "s-so…have you..pppft…tried dancing to MC Hammer wearing them?"

"I tried it out once…" Kanda answered. Yep, Lavi was fucking dead, he shall scatter his remains across the order.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…." Lavi struggled to breath after laughing so hard.

"You! I am going to fuck your shit up you fucking-" Kanda fumed, flooring Lavi yet again. Allen found the thought of Kanda dancing to that…in parachute pants was too fucking hilarious. "So is that what you do in your spare time" Allen said in-between giggles.

"Moyashi, you fucking little shit."

"Love you too" Allen continued to of the others noticed that Cross was completely furious over the fact his leather thong had been destroyed as well as his parachute pants being stolen. Cross lunged at Tykki for revenge, and before the Noah knew it, his face came in contact with two D cups.

* * *

**Sometimes I don't know where this story is goingXD just gets weirderX3 yeah...The thought of Cross or Kanda dancing to MC hammer makes me laugh way more than it should. Oh god, the things I come up withXD**

**So there it is, Thank-you so much for the people who review, favourite, follow and read my story! I love you all!:3**

**Only review if you want:) I really don't mind! until next time, bye!:D**


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